Popular TV host Tutta Larsen recently became a mother for the second time. But what about the younger daughter Martha too early to say, its business - a sweet sleep and eat well. But the experience of the five-year education Luke makes sense to speculate.
What are the errors associated with the education of Luke and care for it, you do not want to repeat with my daughter?
- With regard to education, "mistakes" does not exist. Even if you do that - something wrong is a priceless experience that you gain in the process of "cooperation" with the child. Perhaps, in my case, the problem was that I am an emotional person. I think any parent know the feeling of hopelessness, fatigue, when the only desire - to yell, pritopnut, and sometimes even slap. But there remains a residue that next time when you want garknut or make a sudden movement. Because you know: in - First, it could be his bad example, and in - the second, it makes no sense.
Another error is the parents that they are often blamed problems with the child on the child. If you what - it can not cope, you need to understand first of all in itself, rather than blaming the child, which he - the unbalanced, not talented or has a bad genetics.
That is, the responsibility should be borne by an adult?
- There are children nervous, hyperactive, etc., but in any case the problem of parent -naladit contact with the child, to find the key to it.
But also easier to "diagnose" and do nothing ...
Of course, it is easier. Myka and I am including -byvaem even what - the infantilism of their children. Where - that we do not want to make an effort, where - the -vzyat responsibility. But I think it's not even scared, because children -udivitelnye being: if you love them, then they can always negotiate. And at any age, Lager in breast. When Luke was very young, he used to wake up very early. And I told him: "Son, I'm with you completely unable to communicate, let me sleep for an hour or more! "And he fell asleep. I have experience of dialogue with his son, though sometimes there is a feeling that we no longer hear each other. But this is a temporary condition.
And there is a sense that we are raising children?
- Exactly! My child taught me restraint. And-not to bring unwarranted claims. He has a very strong sense of self-esteem, and I notice it's not just him, but many of today's children, they have a very early age -lichnosti. They can not say you'll do it because I said so, they need arguments.
Do you really think that today's children have - the other?
- They are different, they ... know how to "bend under him changing world." And then, it seems to me that they have a very steep filter is for all the extra information. Although, if a child begins to actively watching television, this "filter" clogged. And they are open to the world. Luke, in this sense, is very happy, he is able to communicate fine. He knows how to present their demands and to achieve the desired, and not hysterical, and words, arguments.
We are talking about the experience of education, and there is also the experience of caring for a baby. Share -voznikali any - problems you solved them?
- I do not think my experience is very original. I nursed a year and three months, for me it was a matter of principle. As for lures, we, frankly, not particularly bother - enjoy meals in the banks. In - First, physically it was not possible to prepare a child constantly fresh food. In - the second, if we take food from your own vegetable garden, is another matter. And so-when you buy on the market and do not know where it is brought than those vegetables - fruits have been fertilized, the difference, I think not. We chose the lesser of two evils: technically, of course, easier to heat the bank than to prepare itself.
And the side effects were not - allergies, for example?
- Easy to food allergies we have sugar, eggs and butter. While, for example, the mother of my goddaughter cooked everything herself, but the difference in terms of children's health, I do not see much.
And now is your attitude to the child's diet has changed?
- The ratio of - still calm. Of course, I did not feed him smoked sausage, even though sometimes I can give a piece of cooked, but it is self-indulgence. In our house we do not eat chips. While there, the Pope is eating on the sly ... But the child does not eat chips, chewing gum do not, we try as little as possible to buy chewing mermaids and Chupa - Chups. Basically we have a healthy, balanced diet -myaso, fish soups. We have no problems with the food, because Luca eats everything. She loves dumplings, I'm ready to buy, because the mold them no one forces.
In short, live the life of today's citizens, who can not get too hung up on the life of ...
- I envy people who can afford the luxury - ecological existence. There is even an ecological village. But I - the other is arranged on a different course, my life has gone. I live in town and have to adapt to its environment.
How to protect your baby in a city of aggressive environmental?
- Every summer, we leave to the country. We try, that he bathed in the river, walk barefoot on the grass.
Babysitting - burning question for all working women. What a score?
- Without a doubt. Babysitting our family members and very close friend. She taught me a lot. There were moments of jealousy at first: how is it that a stranger know and understand your child better than you. But she was able to smooth things over and explained that my mother has a mother and no it will not replace the nurse. Of course, it is insulting: you are at work all day, come see the idyll and you realize that you are to do with it does not have. But in principle, the fate of working women is the unpleasant is always a compromise. Half-truths. It is understandable that you want to be with your child, but you can not.
And you could formulate the commandments working mom?
- It's simple: All the time that you spend with your child, you should only focus on it. Let it for fifteen minutes a day, but it must be switched off the phone, the TV, the Internet. And let it be what - that a significant part of life -ukladyvanie sleeping, bathing, reading bedtime stories. What - something exclusive that only you are doing.
And more important: it is necessary to cope with the guilt, because the time that you spend in the reflection ("What I a bad mother"), better spent on something to think about how you spend joint leisure.
There were difficulties with Luke in terms of the formation of public - the skills?
- No, of course it happened at the time. He stopped sucking on a pacifier, he refused swaddling normally moved avoidance of breastfeeding. Now we are thinking with a nanny as it weaned from co-sleeping. He still comes to us with her husband in the morning in bed, and can sometimes come at night. I do not think that is the problem: well, come to us at night in bed, asleep, Dad took it back. It is touching, even ... I remember being quite adult child older than ten years, hell was afraid to sleep alone in his room, because we had a lower ground floor, a window without bars, and I always thought that someone - that climbs house. But parents do not understand how I'm scared, send me back. I remember his fears till now, and so if my child will come to me in bed, even to hairy legs, I do not mind.
How to raise a man from a boy, not a mama's son?
- I agree with the statement that children need to indulge, then grow from them the real robbers. The child should be loved. It is love, not arrogate to itself as the property. It means' replied his real needs and requests, but at the same time give an opportunity to exercise and self-reliance, and responsibility. Luke is still small; say it will grow out of a real man or a sissy, early. But I think the boy needs a lot of affection and love. Even more than the girl.
Why is that?
- I say this with a child psychologist, and she confirmed my intuitive feeling. Girl easier -one can go and complain to the doll and the boy keeps to himself. Why are our men so early leave this life? They were brought up: boys do not cry, be strong. And they are not as strong as it seems. And not as stress, as we would like. They grow real, confident peasants only when educating them in the love and affection when they are not wasting time on something to protect themselves from aggressive outside world, to grow "turtle" emotional armor and use them for something to develop harmoniously , self-improvement, to realize themselves. That is what gives them the then self-confidence.
Another brilliant phrase to tell the audience, call us on the radio program: Mom, stop to bring your boys, and so are their whole life to educate women - heads, Tiffany and so on. D. Boy mom should just love. Do not bring him up.