Sex addiction has always existed, but in our time, this topic has become known and has been the subject of discussion. It is called self-destructive, because it causes a lot of suffering. And if the sexual relationship in men is generally more physiological in nature, for women it is a purely psychological problem.
Such lack of freedom can be safely equated to alcohol or drugs. After all, its main factor - escape from reality, obsession with certain experiences. Women suffering from sex addiction, experiencing a real "break-up", if they do not have the opportunity to satisfy their need. It's like an obsession that can not be controlled; it stands in first place in their lives, despite the negative consequences.
The reasons - from childhood
In most cases, the origins of women's sexual addiction are in childhood. It is a sexual abuse at an early age or just a lack of attention from parents. In the first case, the child gets a distorted pattern of behavior. Growing up, she begins to believe that sex with a partner - a unique opportunity to be somebody needs. After experiencing violence in childhood, she is suffering from extremely low self-esteem. Realizing his "sin", she blames herself for what happened to her and does not believe that such a "terrible person" can truly love. So she is looking for new sex partners to relieve the feeling of loneliness, fear and helplessness. Only during intercourse she feels wanted and desired, other aspects of life are of little interest to her.
In the second case, when a woman's sexual addiction was born because of inattention to her as a child from the family, there is something similar. The girl is not enough affection, love and touch; grew up, all she gets during sexual relations. After receiving a brief moment of euphoria, it asserts itself, and increases self-esteem. But the tenderness and love such relations do not bring, but because it goes in search of a new partner. It turns out a kind of vicious circle: to escape from loneliness, a woman looking for a sexual partner and not receiving spiritual closeness, repeats the cycle path. She again and again seduces man wins - but under the cover of the femme fatale lies a fear to take their uselessness.
So arranged that the children often blame themselves for the mistakes of adults. And if at a young age they were unloved or neoblaskany attention, then just consider themselves unworthy of it. They take a heavy heart the role of an outcast, the pinnacle of happiness is - crumbs from someone else's table. And so they did not hesitate to change their sexual partners for a moment of happiness, not believing in the possibility to get something more. Sometimes this leads to a masochistic pleasure - to endure the humiliation of worthlessness and repeat his actions again and again. Even aware of the destructiveness of such behavior, stop they can not.
Illness or just promiscuity?
When we hear this kind of dependence, we come to mind unpleasant thoughts about prostitutes and prostitutes. Although, with regard to the latter, among them sexually dependent units - usually "moths" concerned only the economic aspect. They sex itself is not interesting - they just do not see any other way to make money. Those who suffer from this sexual addiction, can not imagine life without sex. And not because they enjoy the process: you can have sexual addiction, and not liking sex, because the essence is not in it. Just some women see sex only opportunity to feel affection, understanding and tenderness.
Of course, such behavior is condemned by society, because the others do not understand the reasons for pushing a woman in the arms of different partners. And if men such behavior is not considered a great sin, that the reputation of the women put bold cross. After falling into the trap of negative public opinion, women have no choice but to continue to seek "happiness" in this way - a bad reputation makes it impossible to meet a normal guy. Perhaps, ask for help, she was able to change internally and to change the style of behavior. But in our country it is not accepted "wash dirty linen in public." It is in Western countries there are entire clinic specializing on treatment of sexually addicted people. There's absolutely a matter of course, when people come up with this problem to a shrink instead of condemning and get professional help.
So before indignant and insulted these women, it is worth considering - that prompted them to the fate of eternal spiritual loneliness in their beds of different men?
Fear of spiritual closeness
Perhaps the term "sexual addiction" is not quite true - it would be more accurate to say "violation of intimacy." Many of the fair sex are aware of the incorrectness of their behavior, they suffer from feelings of guilt and remorse, but continue to look for sexual adventures. It's like the forbidden fruit that attracts and frightens at the same time. They feel condemned by others and even by their partners, becoming the object of abuse. But that does not stop them. Why is sexual addiction controls them?
Whatever it was, a woman with a similar problem themselves avoid permanent relationship, because they are afraid of spiritual closeness. Most often, they simply do not know what it is. Either at home or at school no one teaches us how to love, give and take lovely feeling. And sex is an excellent substitute for warmth, though short-lived. After all, the word "proximity" in the minds of many has become synonymous with the word "sex":
I have a close relationship with him.
You mean sex?
But true intimacy involves trust, lack of fear, a desire to always be close to the family man. There problems are solved peacefully and work together, and the novelty of the relationship is maintained in a dormitory, rather than looking for new sex partners. Unaware of the existence of internal warmth and intimacy, many poor women confused normal sexual relationship and the feeling of love.
Really there is no way to get rid of sexual addiction? It's not that bad. This problem, of course, can be solved. The main thing - to recognize its existence and start on the path to healing. We must try to understand yourself, to find the original cause of his behavior, then will be much easier to handle. If you do not suffer from sexual addiction, but you have such friends, the "power" method will do nothing. As long as people did not want to improve their lives, no one could help him get rid of the problem. Of course, a difficult path. However, like everything else in our lives, which requires a good result.
If you understand that all your troubles come from childhood, try this exercise. Take a comfortable position, try to relax as much as possible. Your breathing should be deep and slow. Imagine that you go on an unusual road that leads to your childhood. On this road you will meet a little girl 5-6 years. Are you a long time ago. Sit down next, pat her on the head and try to comfort her. Say that you love her, take your hands. Promise that everything in her life will be good and you will always defend it. Stay beside her. Then go back the same way. Do this exercise more often - that it will help you come to terms with its past, soothe and fall in love with that part of yourself that pushes you to the rash acts
Try more and sincere talk with ordinary, healthy women. The joint gatherings, intimate conversations about sex can help relieve tension and shame. You will feel that the sexual contact - is not the only possibility of complacency and joy. The loneliness that throws you into the wrong bed, gradually recede. Normal female friendship with support in difficult times and mutual support can work wonders. You are distracted from hunting for the opposite sex and find a lot of interesting activities in the range of ordinary women.
If it seems difficult to get rid of the problems on their own - consult a psychologist. It is not necessary to be afraid and ashamed. Firstly, your meeting will be confidential. Secondly, you will not be condemned, and will offer a real way out of the impasse. After all, if you continue to suffer alone, your whole life is turned into a flour. Is not it easier to try to get rid of it using professional?
If you have decided on a new life without sex addiction - which means you have already made a big step on the path of change for the better. Your belief that you are alone and helpless - are wrong. Around certainly have a lot of close friends who are ready to support you and to love, just do not push them a helping hand. Understand this, and you can keep next to a man possibly dreamed of.
I feel that not only sex gives warmth and intimacy, and caring, loyalty, devotion. What happened to you - it is a test that can be overcome, but you can just live with it, tearing the soul to pieces. Sexual Dependency - is not a sentence, and in the world there are many people to cope with much more difficult situations. Love yourself and the world around you, and then life will sparkle with new, bright colors.
We strongly recommend to read: How to increase the female sexuality
