- The nature of your girlfriend
- Problems in communication with a friend
- Hazardous topics for communication
- How to improve communication with his girlfriend?
The existence of women's friendship for many men continues to be a fantasy. But since we are with you and I know what it is! It is believed that a good friend - it is the one with which you have passed fire, water and copper pipes. However, this is not always and not all - on the contrary, we often encounter the problem in communicating with friends. Some prefer to give up and join the camp of people who deny women's friendship, and someone will try to solve these problems and strengthen the relationship. And it is for them to our article.
The nature of your girlfriend
Who is your friend? This question is often crucial, because we are friends with all different. This applies to the conversation that we choose a favorite way to spend time and even the manner of speaking. This dissimilarity is the fact that as a friend serve people with different types of character and each of them we touch different facets of their personality. What role often played by friends in our lives.
She knows everything about everything. That she can always call and ask about how to care for a rare plant which product should be administered in the diet grudnichka or just learn any encyclopedic fact. It's great to have such a universal source of knowledge and advice, but sometimes it can turn into a disaster. It often happens that this friend may start to give advice about and no, because she knows better than anyone how to live. And it can cause a storm of negative emotions.
With this friend a lot of fun to go to bars, clubs and parties. It's like an eternal holiday, which you can always take with you. With it, you can "ignite" anywhere, even on a family dinner at home at your grandmother's. Of course, this relationship is vital, but an overdose of communication with her, oddly enough, can become boring. Hang-parties, but you want in life and something else than partying.
Very kind and sweet girl. She never about anyone speaks badly. With her good chat to some life-affirming theme, she will always find advantages in the circumstances and good quality in poor people. Sometimes it is useful. However, in situations where you need to get a friend with you someone scolded, she can not do that, because He believes all good at heart.
Oh-oh-oh-oh, this is where the whole adventure in your life. She is absolutely crazy and capable of insane acts: a sudden break in the journey around the world, shaved bare or wear scary costumes on Halloween and go ring the door to strangers. Since it is never boring - it is always full of surprises and interesting ideas. However, always maintain this rhythm of life is well, it is very difficult for us ordinary people!
These two roles are not possible without the other, so they are combined. Girlfriend-whiner only deals with the fact that complaining about their misadventures. She was always a bad thing, because in her life there is always some kind of tragedy. What is the pleasure of communicating with a friend? This may sound terrible, but in a conversation with her you realize that you have something in the long run very well. Therefore, this communication can sometimes be pleasant in homeopathic doses. Girlfriend-vest always listens to your complaints. She is a master of utiraniyu snot and compassion. That you call it when you have something happen, so the benefits of interaction with her is obvious. However, in all other respects it is quite inexpressive.
She is always something you do not like - your manner of speaking, the color of the walls in the living room or the way you educate a child. She constantly criticizes you on these and many other items. Motives of communicating with a friend, as a rule, look at all: it is an old friend, and you're talking to, probably, by inertia. However, you can find pluses in this communication: no one but she will not give you such an objective and honest feedback. Taking into account its comments, you can improve your appearance, behavior, and the walls in the living room. The main thing - learn to separate the wheat from the chaff, those things that you really bad turn, from the things that you just like the way they are. And preserve their self-esteem from her attacks.
A sort of magic wand, always ready to listen and help out. You have entered into a lamppost? It is already here, it helps you deal with the traffic police-Schnick. It is possible that she did not even feel your friendship if you do not ask her for help for a long time. Such a person is really indispensable in life, just try not to abuse the trust of her and do not go into a relationship of obligation - "it just helps me, I must also help her in everything." Do what you think is necessary and possible for her and did not feel obliged to do something you do not like much.
- A friend with the same interests
With her associates have something in common - the memory, interest or sphere of life. You can be both moms love to embroider a cross joint or remember playing in the sandbox. There can be a lot of friends, and each of them you will have to combine something of their own. It is quite possible that you have to close your eyes to the incompatibility of all the other plans.
Very rarely, but it happens that one person can combine all these roles. Then you can say that you're in luck, because you have found the perfect girlfriend! You understand each other perfectly. You have a sense of humor is one for two. You still with her, where to celebrate your Birthday - at McDonalds or an expensive restaurant. You are honest and sincere relationship, which is expressed in the fact that you will almost always tell each other the truth - even about the dress, though about a boyfriend. You can always contact her and share something important to you at this moment. You are friends not only with each other but also with your young people. You can say that you understand each other perfectly (or even without words).
Problems in communication with a friend
However, even in dealing with the most ideal girlfriend are their difficulties and problems. Both of you - real people with their own features and disadvantages, so between you simply can not be complete calm and idyllic. The main thing that you both had a desire to overcome these obstacles, and save your friendship. Here is a list of the most important problems in the relationship of two friends:
Oh, this black feeling! Each of us at least once in life, but jealous of someone. Paradoxically, the more women are jealous of each other than men (maybe they are just carefully hide it?). Envy is very bad for the friendship, because it is because of her anger and the desire arise to harm, with whom friendship disappears. Do not be jealous girlfriend is very difficult (especially when you think that you are doing the same, but it does best), but it is possible. You know very well the wrong side of her success - so try to apply this knowledge in practice. A sober assessment of what a friend had lost for the sake of their achievements. Ask her what helped her in any given situation. Instead of envying, ask for support and advice. Honestly tell me what you want the same things that have it. And then envy will be much less.
It is generally "killer" friendship. Egocentric person needs to have everything for him, and for him - in short, that the world revolved around. And when in a relationship one person pulls the blanket over himself, that's too bad. Such a man can not support and sincere friend to help her, because sometimes you want to leave for the sake of themselves and their desires in the background.
Not always is the problem - sometimes it happens that the competition gives the game element relations, tones girlfriends, motivates them to new achievements. But it becomes a problem at the moment when the race for success is more important than friendship. Do you even sometimes you want something to annoy her, just to be something better than her. Typically, when the desire to be first so strongly expressed in one or two friends, then it makes sense to give up the friendship since become impossible sympathy, openness, trust and support. However, if there is contention with a friend you only occasionally, then your relationship has a chance to continue.
The desire to lie to her friend can be attributed to various reasons: the desire to get something from it, you get a nice attention to both men, or simply do not offend in any respect. But regardless of intentions, 99% of the lie is a symptom that something is wrong in your relationship with your girlfriend: you can not be sincere with her, you want her to evil, or you just do not care about it. In the latter two cases, to continue this friendship does not make sense. But if you're just afraid to be frank with her friend, think - where did this fear? After all, if you hesitate to tell a friend that a new dress she did not go - you only think you are saving her feelings; in fact you do not let anything waste of money with her hand (and maybe even more losses). Of course, you can not always be true, but you should try to make the relationship with friends honest and open to the maximum.
You think your friend you do not understand (or maybe you it). Very often it happens due to the inability to look at the situation through the eyes of the interlocutor and intolerance of other opinions. If this is about you, you try to be less rigid - your girlfriend is also a man, and not all of her thoughts are foolish and irrational. Can a couple of times to take its views and actions, and you will see how this is good for friendship. If such intolerance suffers from your friend, try to explain to her how important you its understanding and support.
There are friends who supposedly want to "merge" with you and your life. This often happens because of the feeling of emptiness in their lives and the inability to be alone. To deal with this phenomenon must be tough. Put in place of her friends, telling them that now you want to be alone and that it is not a manifestation of your dislike of him - you are just tired of the dialogue, and you need to rest, and personal space.
- Sharpness in communication
Your girlfriend is bluff when expressing his own opinion or comments about you. In this situation, you need to honestly and openly explain to her that you sometimes need to sweeten the pill. Not "you look like a prostitute" and "is, of course, very sexy, but I would be in your place, I put something less pretentious." You can practice with it in such substitutions.
Unfortunately, for many women, relationships full of such problems - it is the norm. They think that other female friendship can not be, and all the girls - it is petty and harmful creatures who dream to lead their guy and always something demanding. But it is not so! Good communication with a friend really, and it is quite possible to achieve. The relationship with his girlfriend must first satisfy you both. As a rule, they are characterized by the ease and enjoyment of intercourse. This does not negate the periodic outbursts of anger, anxiety, grief and jealousy. Simply, they are quite rare, and generally have a stable desire to continue dialogue. You do not have a constant desire to cancel the meeting, murmuring something about the patient's head, or a blockage in the workplace. The main background of communication - positive. You support each other, but can sometimes argue and quarrel. Such communication is interesting for both of you, energizes you and gives you strength.
It must be remembered that this is not an ideal to be pursued, but simply guidelines. We wrote about them in order to show the many women that the friendship - is a positive phenomenon. In cases where your communication is fundamentally different from the one described, you have to wonder - what you get from such a friendship? Maybe you terminate such relationships interfere with any personal problems, such as the idea that you are not worthy of more, the lack of hope for other better relationships, self-doubt, fear of change, fear of losing all her friends and being alone. It's serious stuff that can not be ignored, but remember - you only have one life to live, and it needs to be happy, not out of duty or fear.
Hazardous topics for communication
It's great if you can talk to his girlfriend about everything. However, this is not always. Most people try to avoid a number of topics in his conversation. This may be due to the extreme importance of this topic in human life, that it is very likely provoke a conflict with the fact that, in speaking of her, one feels psychological discomfort. Here they are, the most dangerous in communication topics:
- Money is a symbol of success, power, features and much more. For many people, money is inextricably linked with self-esteem, so if there are any problems in this area, then raising finance topics at once will cause a flurry of negative emotions.
- Very often, religion is a very important person for the theme, and, therefore, over-loaded with emotions. Well, if it's positive emotions, and if not?
- Disadvantages relatives. Even if you tell the truth about the disadvantages of a loved one, your girlfriend works primitive instinct - the desire to protect a loved one at any price. She would be offended at you and will justify it in all possible ways. Therefore it is better not to create an awkward situation, and guided by the principle according to which only she can curse their relatives.
- Politics permeates our society, it affects the quality of life, and, you see, all this is very important for us. You and a friend could be so diametrical views on this issue, that argument will not be avoided.
- Psychologically difficult situation. Here, perhaps, it is clear - it is not necessary to reopen old wounds and talk to the person that he dislikes.
How to improve communication with his girlfriend?
Unfortunately, not every friendship has a right to exist. Above, we have described the relationship, during which no interest, both or one side. Typically, this refers to the types of friendship when someone is too uncomfortable or difficult in the communication process. In all other cases, it is possible to correct or improve relations. Will be described below tips for communicating with a friend, which can improve your friendship:
- Be honest with each other
This was stated above several times, but repetition - the mother of learning. Honesty and openness - the best foundation for building strong friendships. Insincerity is always felt and leads to distrust, so it's best to avoid it.
Any relationship based on the balance sheet, including friendship. If you are the only one working on your relationship, then your friend will soon get tired of it, and it will run away from you. So try to occasionally do something good for her.
- Seek to understand her friend and her point of view
Each person is unique and has its own worldview. It is always on something based and not taken out of nowhere. Even if the views of your friends seem silly and blasphemous, try to understand it - at least partly. You do not have to accept them - just to find out how she formed an opinion on a particular issue or why it goes that way. I'm sure you'll learn a lot of things for themselves new and useful.
- Clearly identify the relationship with men
The most common reason that women's friendships denied the existence of - a quarrel because of the strong half of humanity. Therefore, our task - to prove that it is not so! Agreed with her friend all the slightest nuances of relationships with men, so as not to cause offense and did not "cross the road" to each other. Not necessarily friendship should be more important than love - perhaps in your case everything will be vice versa, but both of you will be mentally prepared for this.
Remember that sometimes you just want to hear "you're doing it right! "Or" everything will be fine. " This gives us confidence in their own abilities and in the future, and thus worthless. So often keep her friend, and she will answer you the same.
- Remember, too, that friend has a personal life
Each of you should have your boundaries and personal space. Some aspects of life should be just for you and for your family.