All families are equally happy ... It's hard to argue with the master of world literature, which in addition to this there was also a great family man. Leo Tolstoy generally valued family relationships, family treasured and fragile family happiness. Of course, more happily established family life Tolstoy owes his wife: patient, understanding, gentle and caring. However, to his credit that was also. After all, today everyone is clear that without mutual desire a happy family life does not turn out. And what is it - happiness in the family?
Is it really right was Leo Tolstoy, when he said that the family fortune all the same? What we mean by this concept? How exactly do we want to be happy? Not overpriced if we strap? We do not focus on whether we established myths? In general, is it possible in today's realities? Let's face it.
Family happiness and the Modern World
Let's start with the last question. Is it possible to happy family life now? And we do not look for an answer! Because the answer is: it is possible! And it is not true that earlier there were other times - times are always the same. And the people are the same at all times. Just every time has its own religion, its own philosophy and its own morality. And what is the moral of the modern world?
Alas, today's world is rather immoral. We are driven by consumer instincts, we want to take and do not want to give. We do not want to think about other people's troubles, we do not want to take care of elderly parents, we do not want to do their own children, but we do not want them to give birth. But stop! Why then live? Money for the money? Sex for sex? And what's the meaning of life?
Believe me, this question is not rhetorical. A wise man said that the meaning of life is to be someone fit. When a person ceases to be necessary, he loses the meaning of life. And who in this life, we need, if not your family, your family? That's why the family in the modern world - the only refuge from the immoral reality. That's why we subconsciously seek to family happiness, shoot films about it and write a book. However, in our quest to have to try not to rely on conventional wisdom myths about family happiness.
Five myths about family happiness
Modern man thinks template - it costs our information age. And therefore we sometimes accept solutions not based on the results of his own reflection and assessment, and relying on conventional wisdom or the so-called myths.
The first myth: not all created for family life
Most young people think so. In any case, the vast majority of claiming it is simply convenient to think so. And the young lady is no exception: they are, have not been established for either mothers or for marriage. Of course, much more convenient to live in their own pleasure, not bear any responsibility for his household, to no one accountable. However, all this is good for the time. When it comes time to admit their mistakes, fix them is almost impossible.
Firstly, all worthy partners for marital happiness is already dismantled, attach, and are quite happy. And secondly, when the time is lost, dramatically change the way of life and thinking really hard. Therefore, all the time. And unfit for family life of people just do not happen: there are only those who do not want (for the time) to burden themselves with family ties.
Myth Two: The happy family - the result of luck
Many believe that if people are happy in marriage, so it was just lucky to find each other. But if family life had no luck, the partners simply do not fit each other. In fact it's not. Family - this is everyday work: physical and emotional. Very often, the couple initially components perfectly harmonious couple, can not create a truly happy family, and eventually leave. And when the family since the early days of its existence reigns harmony and peace, almost does not occur (only as a rare exception).
A truly happy only those families that this happiness can not only create but also to preserve. And happiness in family life - the award for the ability to compromise, to sacrifice their own desires and value partner. In addition, often turn out to be a happy family, where spouses have less than ideal characters, but are able to put up with the shortcomings of each other, know how to forgive and love not for something, and in spite of everything.
Myth Three: for family happiness need welfare
Here are all the myths that's a myth! Of course, the existence of a happy family will not interfere with neither money nor spacious housing or rural property, or private car. However, many families do you know where the wealth would help to save the love of the spouses would have saved the quarrels, adultery, divorce? That's right: we should not confuse cause and effect relationships.
All these benefits do not themselves contribute to family happiness, everything depends on the people. Oddly enough, most unfortunate families live in full prosperity. Of course, the life of jams, lack of money or simply constrained housing will cause the collapse of the family. However, for people who love to be happy, nothing hurt. It was not invented by us, that sweet heaven in a cottage. So it does not become the cause of prosperity of family happiness, and vice versa.
Myth Four: incomplete family could not be happier
Here, dear, let's not confuse happiness and personal happiness. First, the single-parent family - a family without one of their parents, and secondly, incomplete family - a family without children. When the family has no father or mother, it is certainly bad, but this fact alone can not prevent such a family be happy. Often absent parents successfully replace the present grandparents and sometimes even a single mother (or a single father) is able to do his little family happy. Yes, a woman without a man may be unhappy (on a personal level, in the sexual sphere of life), but because it is in a single-parent family, especially his mother. A mother is able to make their children happy, and if it so earnestly desires, it does not hurt anything or anyone!
Another question - a family without children. Here, too, the situation is twofold. One case where the spouses are happy with each other and of any reasons do not want to have children. For the time being we are quite happy wife, but there comes a time when happiness begins to gradually leak out like water through your fingers: because people have not done the most important thing for your happiness. And most importantly - it is the children who are known to be the fruit of love. Waste love is doomed to a slow and painful dying.
If the couple want, but can not have children, then the development of their relations just two. Whether this development is simply not happening, and people break up, or they take this fact for granted, which can not interfere with their love and happiness in marriage.
Myth five: a happy family can not be quarrels and strife
Oh, how wrong those who'm sure! Cloudless happiness does not happen! Even the happiest family passion, love and romantic atmosphere can not reign forever. In contrast, the passionate feelings are gradually transformed into a peaceful and stable relations. But they occasionally need to be refreshed. And then, people can not always be satisfied with each other: a loving husband, too, have accumulated anger, there are domestic difficulties. And even in the happy family comes grief and loss occur.
I sincerely and strongly wife love each other, too, argue, too, resent, too, are dissatisfied. So for a happy family all this - a part of life, and we note a happy life. And if people are not able to survive such disasters, and the family happiness they can not keep. Happy family - a haven in which also occur with serious storms. And their ability to survive - is the ability to preserve the happiness of his family.
Basis and superstructure family happiness
In Soviet times, the family called the unit of society. Today it sounds, at least banal, but its relevance this slogan is not lost. In fact, the family is a definite structure with a solid foundation (basis). So that's the foundation of any happy family can be only love, but love is mutual. And all the rest acts as a superstructure. And we build on happiness in family life?
First of all, his desire to have a normal family. A attached to this request and all our efforts. The desire to provide a family of wealth and comfort in the house, a sincere desire to make happy the spouse and children, the ability to forgive and to put up with the shortcomings, the taming of their own ambitions, to experience adversity and strength much more. Happy family built a lifetime. This is an ongoing process, because every family - a fragile structure, however strong and stable it may seem.
The key to family happiness
And where to get the key to the family happiness? And is it not - the same key? The answer, oddly enough, found scientists from Australia's Deakin University. The family of the wife should be happy about equally. This conclusion sociologists in the analysis of data tens of thousands of couples from different countries (Austria, Germany and the UK). According to researchers, influencing the "difference in happiness" between husband and wife are the following factors:
the difference in income levels;
belonging to different religious castes;
the need to run the household alone.
They also found out that the risk of rupture of relations between spouses depends on the happiness of each of them.
If the wife in the family are happy about the same, it is very likely that their union will last a very long time.
If the family feels happy husband wife, most likely, their relationship will end in divorce.
In a marriage in which the wife happier husband has a future.
What do you think, is it true that all happy families are happy alike, but every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way? So once wrote the great writer Leo Tolstoy, not knowing that many years later, this issue will remain relevant. Or maybe he knew it, and that is why the liberty of such a statement?
After all, what family happiness? This is your home and your family, where you always want to come back. It is native to you people that you need and without which you simply can not live. It's your world, your little world, and your great love. This is the meaning of your life. What do you think?
We recommend that read: Secrets of Family Happiness
