Any girl asks first sex - it hurt? And no wonder, because the loss of virginity - it's not cold. Yes, the stories more experienced girlfriends often suggest real horror ... However, do not panic - it makes more sense to look into the matter in more detail and to know what to prepare.
Of course, sex - is a manifestation of love, and where love is, as you know, is not the place of reason. But sex - it's also a physiological act. So, you must provide all the nuances and to make every effort to ensure that your first sex has left only pleasant memories. Of course, much of this depends on the man, but a woman can greatly influence the process.
Who lose your virginity?
The first condition required for a successful first sex - it's a decent man. One man who will put in the forefront the comfort and convenience of your favorite women, not your animal pleasure. After all, the actions of men depends whether you will hurt in the first sexual intercourse! Exposure, weasel, orderly, smooth motion - all this will help to reduce the pain to a minimum.
Therefore we should not lose her virginity to the first available man, just because your girlfriends, acquaintances long since done so. Even a casual acquaintance from the bar would not be the best one - it, by and large, absolutely do not care about your mental anguish and physical condition.
Even if you do not believe in the big and pure love, as a first sexual partner, choose a man who was for a long time and know at least you trust him. So at you will experience what to expect from men. But the tension at times intensifies the pain.
Where is it?
Not the last role is played and the place where you will lose your virginity. Back of the car or a night club toilet - the worst possible thing you can do. Let it sounds trivial, but to lose your virginity is in civilized conditions without extreme - leave it for later, time to experiment you will still abound.
Bedroom with normal bed and access to the bathroom - this is exactly what you need. And take care to protect themselves from uninvited guests - Master bedroom which at work, too, is not the best option. It is better to stay - share their thoughts with a man.
The last thing people think the girls on the eve of the loss of virginity - it's about contraception: too many other fears. And forget about this issue in any case it is impossible, if you do not want to shortly after the first night to find out what will soon become a mother. And it is in the best case. And at worst have to look for the doctor-dermatologist. Keep this in mind before you have sex for the first time.
And in any case, do not expect this issue to the man. Of course, it would be logical to assume that this man will take care of your safety. But too naive - a man can not think about it. But in the end, or spoiled the night, or extra stress. Which, as mentioned above, will entail strengthening of pain, which for the first time and so can not be avoided.
Pose for the loss of virginity
If you want to be the first time sex was not very painful to find the best for this position. Doctors claim that a number of sexual positions greatly facilitates the process of defloration:
The girl should be widely spread her legs and lie down on your stomach, hips and under desirable to put a small pillow. A man should sit on the woman's thigh and gently enter the penis into the vagina. This pose is good that she completely relaxed leg muscles - and hence the muscles of the vagina - absolutely tight. This ensures maximum free introduction member. In addition, the man will be able to monitor every move that reduces the risk of pain partner.
The woman lies on any god and bend your knees. The man kneels and enters the next member of the vagina. If so, you will be uncomfortable, it is possible to upgrade a little attitude - a woman pulls sideways upper leg. The pose is very good, as has a lot of advantages - first, the partners see each other, and secondly, the muscles of the legs and crotch completely relaxed and member penetrates the vagina almost unhindered. So, it is very painful to have sex for the first time will not be exact - perhaps only slightly unpleasant.
If calm does not work and a woman brings forth the idea that the first time to have sex is not just a painful and unbearably painful, it is best to give preference to the good old missionary position. In physiological terms, it does not particularly remarkable - indeed, the first time just need to put a pillow under the hips to facilitate the penetration of the penis.
But from the point of view of the psychological - the best posture is simply not come up. Partners are able to maintain eye contact, she subconsciously feels a sense of security, a man is free to kiss her. Incidentally, the sexologists claim that this posture is most often used for the deprivation of virginity.
If a man confident of his exposure to deprivation of virginity may be used pose doggy-style, and its improved version - the woman should be on his knees beside the bed and lay down on her chest, legs widely breed. A man kneels behind the woman and introduces the penis in the vagina. Plus, this position is that the hymen is stretched as much as possible, and breaks very easily. But once again - a very important man self because jerky movements can hurt a woman.
What else you need to know?
By itself, the hymen is not a particular obstacle for first sex, because it is only a subtle barrier covering the entrance to the vagina. Moreover, it covers the entrance only partially. And rupture of the hymen at first sex causes only mild soreness.
So why are many women at first sex complain that they hurt a lot? Gynecologists say that having these pains because of the fact that the vagina is still extremely narrow. And in most cases, added another factor - too severe muscle spasm of the vagina, which arise because of the emotional excitement of women.
Too many women are afraid not only that it will be very painful, but that will be a lot of blood. In fact, it does not - in most cases the woman gets off a few drops of blood. And in some cases the blood at first sex does not happen at all - it is also an option rules and not cause for concern.
However, it should be noted that sometimes there may be a discharge of blood for several days after the first sex - is also perfectly normal. Of course, if a little blood - profuse bleeding is a signal that the body is something wrong and needs immediate treatment to the gynecologist.
You should not have sex again immediately after the first time - ideally you should wait a few days. Despite the fact that the rupture of the hymen is not a serious injury and all the physiological process, for healing will need at least three days. So patience, patience, patience and more time - then it will be repaid with interest.
It is rare, but still there are times when trying to take the first turn sex problems. Should not be afraid - they are quite easy to resolve. However, aware of the potential pitfalls still worth to later sex is not causing your negative emotions - it is fraught with serious psychological problems. For the first time - it is the most important.
Vaginismus doctors call such a process, in which the muscles of the vagina greatly reduced and make it impossible for the introduction of the penis. There are two types of vaginismus - the real and the psychological. True vaginismus is rare - about 3% of all cases and deal with them only with the help of an experienced professional. All independent attempts are doomed to failure. Especially if we are talking about first sex.
Fortunately, in most cases you can deal with the problem on their own - of course, with the active participation of men. Long foreplay, additional lubrication and, most importantly, a lot of patience is required to win a problem. But note - the result will only be the case if the woman next to her loved one. By the way, very often vaginismus - a subconscious reaction of the female psyche trying to lose their virginity with the unloved man.
Severe pain when you try to have sex
In that case, if it is very painful at the time of trying to enter the penis into the vagina for the first time, it is likely that the girl trudnorastyazhimaya and / or thick hymen. In such cases, the deprivation of virginity have sex more than once. But if after the fourth-fifth attempt will not change, it will make most sense to turn to a gynecologist. He quickly and painlessly remove the hymen under local anesthesia. And you can have sex without any ill effects.
First sex without blood and pain
We have already mentioned that sometimes at first sex of blood, as well as pain, does not happen at all. It would seem, well, what is the problem? Rejoice, and more! But not in the case of a woman waiting for innocence and ... the evidence of this. With which for centuries it was considered to be blood and pain.
And it is very important to explain to the man that their absence does not mean that a woman's sex is not the first time. Firstly, the hymen can be very flexible and stretch without pain and blood for a long time - sometimes up to the birth of a woman's child. Second, sometimes the hymen rupture occurs long before the woman decided to have sex - for example, time exercising, or use tampons.
Pain during sexual intercourse
Sometimes there are cases when first sex was like ok, but the second and third sexual intercourse are also accompanied by uncomfortable sensations. The pain is not strong, but pleasant enough. Why is this happening? Most likely, the reason for this is psychological discomfort stiffness girl. As a result of the vaginal wall and spastic reduced so much that there are painful sensations. Incidentally, the sexologists argue that these women have a good chance at a bright range of sensations during sex in the future, once rid of their psychological barriers.
The reasons for such a constraint may be quite a lot - it's a psychological unwillingness to begin their sexual life, and an unwillingness to have sex with a particular partner or at a particular time, place or may not like. Natura women are very thin and difficult to predict, that may trigger psychological discomfort.
Try to sort out this problem on their own, having analyzed the situation. Maybe during sex at any moment you expect to return to their parents or friends come? Go to the hotel. Shy of the figure? Dim the lights, buy nice clothes. Afraid of his inexperience? Talk to the man, tell him about your concerns - certainly it quickly dispel them. If you cope with the problem will not be possible, it is necessary to seek help from a psychologist. It is not necessary to be ashamed of - your well-being depends on your peace of mind.
Lack of orgasm
Often, a woman expects from the first night of enchanting experiences, and ready to see "the sky with diamonds" - that's why and agrees to have sex. But the reality is different - there is no orgasm at all. And it can become a tragedy for both men and for the woman.
However, do not worry about it - to achieve orgasm at first sex is possible only just lucky. In most cases, in order to allow your body to learn to enjoy, you should have sex very long time - a few months, and in some cases years. This does not mean that you or your man something wrong! Learn to enjoy the process and orgasm will not keep waiting itself.
Visit the gynecologist!
Another very important thing - before the onset of sexual activity sure to visit the gynecologist! Of course, this doctor terrifies even for adult women, not to mention a virgin. But it must be done for the following reasons:
Unfortunately, in our time, gynecological diseases occur even in young girls and adolescents are not sexually active. And believe me - if you try to lose their virginity on the background of an inflammatory process, you will remember this night forever. And not pleasant sensations, and very, very severe pain. It would therefore be wiser to first ensure that you are healthy and, if necessary, undergo treatment.
Status of the hymen
An experienced doctor with a simple inspection can detect that the hymen is too thick and defloration can cause problems. The doctor probably will advise you the best postures and ways of defloration.
Methods of contraception
Incidentally, it is a gynecologist is necessary to discuss contraception - the doctor will evaluate all the nuances: your age, health, and others - and then select the best option for you.
Ideally, the physician should warn you also that the onset of sexual activity in most cases radically alter the menstrual cycle. Firstly, the first after sex menstruation begins around week delay, so too do not worry. Although, of course, make a pregnancy test does not hurt, even if you properly protected. As they say, better safe than sorry.
By the way, and after the first sexual intercourse visit to the gynecologist will not be superfluous. Of course, this does not mean that just getting out of bed, you have to run the clinic. But the next day - two, try to find time to go to the doctor. Of course, only if you do not feel any discomfort - heavy bleeding or pain.
If you notice these symptoms, go to a doctor as soon as possible - it is necessary to exclude the possibility of injury during intercourse. Fortunately, this happens very, very rarely - usually when the first sexual intercourse was forced. It is not necessary to postpone the visit and if in a fit of passion you forget about the need to protect - the doctor will help rectify the situation.
Secondly, the menstrual cycle becomes approximately 20% shorter and much more stable than before the onset of sexual activity - a point almost all women. The duration of menstruation is also reduced, and themselves become less plentiful monthly. And the pain, if they were, at times becoming weaker or even disappear altogether.
In conclusion, I would like to once again reassure the girls who just have to know all the intricacies of adult life, including sex - it's not as scary as telling a girlfriend. Remember the three main components of success - health, time and place, and of course your partner. If you approach the matter sensibly, you still have only fond memories.
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