how to live after leaving


  • Be aware of the incident
  • No illusions
  • How to reduce the pain?
  • Goals and Achievements

Your man left you? This happens quite frequently, and many had to endure the despair and resentment that accompany this separation. In my head constantly sounds like a broken tape recorder on, "For what? For what? .. "Today we will try to at least do something to help you in this situation, and tell you what to do, so that such a crisis quickly passed.

Probably every woman at least once in his life faced such a nuisance as the separation from a loved one. And it's really very, very difficult test, even for the most powerful woman. And the only question that arises in the mind of a woman in this period - how to survive after breaking up with a loved one? From the side of this question may seem absolutely crazy. But those who have experienced this pain on themselves, will understand the urgency of this whole issue.

After all, in fact, a woman's life after breaking up with a loved one at a time practically stops. Interest is lost literally everything - to work, their hobbies, children, if any, to the appearance, in the end to the meal. Fortunately, in most cases, this negative period is not too long - two to three weeks, after which the woman begins to slowly come to life. But, alas, it is not always - some of the fair sex for a long time can not pull myself together. And it threatens to have very real problems - for example, a prolonged depression.

This is to prevent in any case impossible - you need to begin to act. Folk wisdom says that the tears of sorrow will not help. And so it is, unfortunately or fortunately. Therefore, Wipe your tears, throw handkerchiefs and forward - to a brighter future. Of course, one does not require you to sing songs and give their radiant smiles in the first days after the break.

Do you want to cry? Weep! Do you want to kill all the dishes in the house? On health, then buy new. Your soul needs to cut to pieces all things reminiscent of the former? Scissors to help you! Psychologists call this condition a splash of negative emotions. And it is - a most important stage on the road to recovery, and therefore, it is necessary to pass. Yes, and you will be much easier, you'll see!

 how to start a new life after leaving

Be aware of the incident

The first few days after leaving the woman can not realize what has happened. In psychology, this phenomenon is called the "period of denial." No, mozgami- woman understands what happened, but on an emotional level, refuses to believe it. And as long as does not believe she can not break out of this his emotional state.

Narevelis? Now sit down, stop bawling at least for a minute and tell yourself this - you - or rather, with you, to break off relations. Rupture of any relationship is almost always tolerated with difficulty, and at once the two of the partners in a couple. And despite the fact that the relationship was ripped your ex man, it is hardly easier than you. Oddly enough, but the majority of women, this malevolent thought warms the soul. And that is true - no one did you suffer? You should take a similar situation is with this view.

Your subconscious mind refuses to believe in what is happening and no exhortations and efforts to reach the common sense you do not help? Well, it is necessary to act more radically. To start clean with prominent places all the things that make mention of your ex man. The same proverb says that out of sight - out of mind. If you did not raise his hand to throw it all away, at least to gather all in one box and clear away.

Of course, if the husband has left you to do so will not be easy - the apartment is not in the closet zapihnesh. But the output can be found in this situation - to go for a couple of days to his mother or even to go to a rest home. Incidentally, at the same time change the situation that you, too, will only benefit the note.

No illusions

Doctors, psychologists say that the most difficult time right after the break are the first six weeks. It is important that this time period can be largely reduced only in the case if you firmly decide for yourself what is the real end. Understand - let it gone! Let's not your fault, and only his decision. Do not hold back the tears. Weep enough, but do not forget to repeat a thousand times to myself, "Yes, she is gone! He's gone forever! "And so, delivered a thousand for the first time, this phrase in time cease to dominate you.

And with that, as a rule, there are very serious problems - almost every woman for a long time hoping that the man changed his mind and would return to it, realizing what he had lost. And as long as the woman will think about it, not about how to start a new life after breaking up, get rid of the mental agony she did not succeed.

Pay attention to it! Such an understanding of the situation is important enough. Therefore, if you can do it and realize that this is really the end, it is already expensive. Consider this first victory, won the first battle in the war for the sake of itself. Evolve into a strong personality - a woman who knows how to cope with difficulties. A farewell to her - no more than another, it eliminates the problem. You can get back on its feet and continue its way, that has not happened.

And if you continue to wait for her prince to return, you will continue to wear down their already troubled psyche. Is it worth it? As practice shows, returned less than a third of all men who severed ties on their own initiative. In addition, it is important to ask myself a simple question - do you really need is the return? And, more importantly, to tell him answer. After all, you know perfectly well that once betrayed likely to betray again. Are you ready to live permanently, as if on a powder keg?

 life after separation

How to reduce the pain?

Do not forget that your goal is to master the most painless way out of these failed relationships. First of all you have to preserve their identity and self-respect. And if you are the initiator began, then surely you do not want to suffer remorse and want to quickly forget about everything. In this case, read on:

  • Journal

In that case, if you've not very talkative, but to share with someone their problems as something not in your habits, you should make a personal diary. Diary is perhaps one of the best and most effective methods to get rid once and for all from all sorts of insults, sad memories and depressing thoughts. You can simply get rid of the burden of problems push.

Your diary - this is not only a great listener and conversationalist, who is always with you in difficult times of separation, but also a wonderful therapist. In addition, written on paper, the idea becomes clearer and clearer and easier to understand. As soon as you pour out all their grievances, bruised and suffering, they are at the same time turn back and go away from you home. Emotions and feelings are not so dominate the soul, and if you let loose. You seem to take off, and come back again to you tranquility, self-control and common sense.

Very often you can hear the advice to burn all that is written, thus trying to get rid of the negativity. But many psychologists say that you are negative and so splash out on a paper and read about his current emotional state later, when everything is stabilized, will not only be highly entertaining, but also useful. Just watch carefully, to blog is not got into the wrong hands - or what outsiders delve into your dirty laundry, right?

  • Openness

Staying alone with their problems is hard enough. So you have longer the recovery period after a breakup. Do not turn in on themselves. Tell us about the problems surrounding the greatest number of people. Psychoanalysis calls this approach "method of dispersion of grief." In a relatively short time you will feel easy enough, as if a stone fell from the soul. Talk with your friends. You listen and something prompt.

Although in some cases it is better to go to a psychologist. Unfortunately, very often it happens that in spite of the huge circle of friends, to talk, and it turns out no one. After sharing the most intimate possible only with people you trust completely. Of course, instead of a psychologist can go to the station to buy a ticket on the first train to talk and companions. But it's a long, uncomfortable, and it is unlikely companion will give you good advice, as opposed to a psychologist.

  • Talk with

With an intelligent man is always a pleasure to talk to, do not you? And besides, even very useful! It is convenient to sit in front of a mirror. Then try to talk with them. Tell yourself the same about their problems. Doctors, psychologists say that this type of therapy is very well cope with depression and stress.

Incidentally, exercising near his mirror, finished the session lesson facial expressions. Scorch yourself a funny face, and your mood immediately go to the mountain. Just try to convince yourself that the problem is not worth a damn. And with such a trifle you are right exact.

  • Strengthen your body

Remember: our emotional and mental state is directly related to our body. Catching up on sports and training your body, you will be able to cope with other problems. Strive to "losing momentum". Does not really matter how you load yourself, you can do weight training, running, fitness or start a spring cleaning to rearrangement of furniture in all rooms and common repairs.

Never mind! The main thing that you are physically trained. In some cases it is useful to shout loudly or porydat sobbing. The main task - to blow off steam, allow negative emotions to get out, do not build up inside you, do not keep them, otherwise they will gradually destroy you from the inside. And the night's sleep will be much stronger - you just will not remain forces in the tears in the pillow.

  • To work! To work! To work!

Immerse yourself into the work of the head. It's just a magical method of solving all problems. Parting with a loved one held much faster and more discreet for you. Actively working, you podzabudete about their troubles and problems that distract them. Yes, work is another invaluable advantage - it is not only therapy but also a way to earn money, which means you get a double benefit. Or maybe, and improving the career ladder.

  • Pamper yourself

Not only psychiatrists and other doctors are confident that regular exercise help to relieve stress. Better busting yourself and go to the fitness club or gym. Do not forget about the great outdoors. Nature also has healing properties. Go for a walk in the park. Treat yourself! Re-read the book you like, or see a good movie. Pay attention.

Dress is smart, even if you do not want this evening to go anywhere. Just stay home and cook for dinner something that you love. Or sail to friends, take part in a fun and noisy party - so you distract yourself from sad thoughts. Your life does not have to stop and stiffen. It should take place events and changes.

  • Meditation

Did you know that meditation - is a great way to replace something non-drying rivers of tears. The meditative state, calm and relaxed, can achieve tranquility and clarity. During meditation, the recovery is several times faster than even during sleep. It does not matter that the earlier you are not faced with this - go to study, the benefit that such centers big set.

  • Food

It is also an important point in the treatment of depression and despondency. Eating right is always necessary. Only the main character of the movie, after a separation, saved a ton of chocolate and marmalade pudom. In life, it is better to give up the spicy and sweet, if you want to get back to normal and forget about depression. All kinds of fruits and vegetables, mineral water and juices to help you and are essential for a speedy recovery. But if you want to extend the life of his neurosis, continue to eat kilos of cakes, all solos necessarily red wine.

  • spring-cleaning

Throw out all the excess out of their homes, even the fact that in any way with your ex man is not connected. You want to start a new life? Hence, it is necessary to part with any reminders of her. By the way, ideally it would be nice to make all repairs and replacement of furniture. Of course, if your capacity allow.

Goals and Achievements

You should recover from the loss and do them. Set out to return to a new life - a life without him. Try to remember what you were up to him, and took care that you are more than would like to do and what the dream was postponed then. Today, you have a rare and wonderful opportunity to prove their identity in accordance with their wishes.

It is not necessary to dream of revenge - this reaction does not give you the desired relief, and will only reopen old wounds. It is understood that a smart, powerful, and an adult woman, personality and individuality that can move the separation. In general, enough to think about it and constantly cry!

Recall all the wrongs that he had done to you during your relationship with him, all prohibitions. Now wear red short dress, which was always your favorite, and he forbade you to wear it, as it seemed to him vulgar. Call for best friend, with whom he forbade you to communicate, as saying that it is stupid. And go for a walk and have fun in a club or somewhere else. Always with your best friends and girlfriends to whom he was jealous of you, and which prohibits communicate. Life is beautiful without it! She did a lot better! So do not delay it indefinitely, and start his new and, most importantly, happy life!

 How to live after breaking up? Happily?

We recommend to check out how to survive the separation from a loved one