- What to expect from love with a married man
- How to stop loving a married man
Perhaps the best advice that you can give someone the relationship with a married man - this is to say that the better the relationship did not start. However, we doubt that any woman who is "lucky" to fall in love with a man unfree, this advice can help. We can not control your feelings. And it is not always possible to know in advance whether a man is free, so that the fuse in the heart. Do not come near to him with the same question: "Please tell me you are not burdened by accident knot? And I immediately decided to fall in love with you! "More often different: fall in love with a man, and then you get a" surprise ": Lord, I also, it appears, like a married man! And now no one can tell me what to do next!
Relations within a single pair can be complex and unpredictable, everybody knows it. But when the man you love, is part of a very different couples, the husband when he was a stranger, the unpredictability and complexity of even simple, but simply desperate complexity of relationships can make your life miserable. You will have to participate in a game in which you hardly ever win.
The woman who has fallen love with a married man, living a life that is mostly hidden veil of secrecy. The terms of her close friends, perhaps, knows about her affair, but in general it can not afford to show love or colleagues, or acquaintances. Most of the time she spends alone, waiting for her married lover called her to come to the meeting to spend some precious time with her. She is not his wife, it is not the mother of his children, it is not the daughter of his parents - absolutely nothing connects them besides the secret romance. Its chances of happiness depends on the future, for which it is at least very uncertain. If love for a married man and become your destiny, too, and you can not decide how to treat this, then you have to say, there are some hard truths that you should know.
What to expect from love with a married man
Love is capable of hurting, and especially strongly understands those women who have had to experience love with married men. Loneliness, sadness, heartache - these feelings, not happiness, it is necessary to experience them more often. And if you fell in love with a guy before you found out that he was married, or even know that he has a family, but throw in a sense, like in a whirlpool head - be prepared for a "roller coaster" of your emotions! You will hate and love it, you'll hate yourself you will hate his wife ... At the same time, you'll understand the heart that do not have the right to hate anyone. Do you think that he would leave his wife for you? Think hard! Is life a little example of what zhenatiki mostly just entertain such an affair, and almost none of them did not cast their wives. Especially if they have children.
Yes, of course, we understand that you think it is someone else's way and you do things differently. "He loves me truly," - you think, right? But just think: family man bytovuha tired, and his wife, he sees not only a woman, the object of desire, as the mistress of the house and their mother of the family. He wants something new, this is not the mundane, as we now have with my wife. Of course, it is interesting to you - even to such intensity of feelings! But you will not be feeling burn eternal fire. Sooner or later in your relationship vpolzet the very ordinariness. And why did he then do the same thing as at home, but at the same time to start all over again? It is easier to go home, because there is already established and all so familiar, everything is dear! And another reason is, that the love with married men is not eternal. The fact that he was not looking for a new wife. He was looking for a woman to whom he would have no obligations!
Do you think he will spend New Year's with you? Or, March 8? Hardly! Almost all of the women who had to go through love with married men can tell you how they spent the holidays alone, when their men spend this time with their wives. While he embraces and kisses his wife, you'll be home just hugging the pillow, and so will every holiday.
Well, we agree, he might be able to run to greet and be with you for a while; but do not expect that it will stay the night with you on such a day. He does not want to risk it! It will buy you, of course, any gift, but believe me, my wife will get a much better gift. Moreover, many husbands feel guilty in front of their wives, they are deceiving and trying to soothe their consciences, making them good gifts.
But in what he zahazhivaet only to you, do you, then do not believe it! If he fools around with you, and he calmly deceive you with someone else. If you really liked the variety in sex and intercourse, it is unlikely that he would confine himself only communicate with you. Most guys who give birth on the side of the connection, have in his Don Juan list intrigues a lot. And even if at the moment you had only one mistress, there is no guarantee that soon he will not be carried away by someone else. And he was not one lover to you. So do not be surprised - if you decide to unprotected sex with this guy - when you've found out some venereal disease, if not something worse.
Be prepared for a variety of broken promises. For example, he promised to meet with you, and then suddenly it turned out that his wife had changed plans and she urgently needed his presence. Be sure that he canceled a meeting with you, but in any case will not give up his wife! Or he promised to do something for you, but, again, something happens, and he scooted home runs, leaving you alone. His wife would always come first for him. Although he will lie to you that you have not guessed, that he was going to his wife, and not somewhere else. A wife he would lie, so she did not guess that he's got you.
If you're feeling jealous, ask him about whether he sleeps with his wife, it is unlikely you will hear the truth. He is likely to tell you that she does not love him, but he does not like it, and in general, they just live under the same roof, but they are actually just turned in their neighbors. Or he may tell you that she is sick, and they do not have an intimate relationship for a long time; but he is an honorable man, can not let down the sick person. Or ... Yes, a lot of things he can tell! But believe it not.
So, let's sum up. Let's try to create a clear picture of what will happen to a woman who hopes for love not free men:
- The needs of his family will always outweigh your needs. His family, particularly his wife will always be for him in the first place. What he says about his marriage in a negative way, it does not mean that his obligations to his wife have no meaning for him. Even the absence of their children can not serve as an encouraging fact for you, because he still feels her husband and he will care about the welfare of their marriage, regardless of whether much he loved her or not. Their life together includes friendship, established way of life and well-established habits. He will not risk it all.
- His relationship with you, and there will always be a mystery. You can wait a long time when the love of a married guy can become obvious to everyone, but this will likely never happen. In addition, it will seem to be afraid of you somewhere on the street, so as not to meet casually with friends and family friends or relatives of his wife. He will always be afraid that his family did not find out about you.
- No matter how strong your love for a married man, you will always be for him only a temporary abode. Of course, you hear about it quite painful. But, unfortunately, it's true. At first, your relationship can be very romantic and exciting. It talks about the fact that once you are together can be exciting. When you snatching a minute for a kiss on the job and hours of sex in your home, you will feel that his passion and love for you is eternal. Do not be fooled! Love the game will soon become routine for him, and romantic interludes just become another thing he "must do."
- He will never leave his wife. Total less than five percent of men leave their wives for the sake of women who give birth to intrigue. What happens if it's because of divorce, a number of legal or financial problems, or because it has something to do with religious beliefs, or because men prefer to save customary marriage than to establish a new family life, or because they still retain affection for their wives - men rarely abandon their families and go to another woman. And do not be fooled about one important point: it still has sex with his wife, even if you do not believe it.
- Legal, financial and even purely on the level of feelings you do not have any rights to it. Even if there is between you love and emotional attachment, it can not always connect you and your lover. And here's why. Even with real feelings to you, it will certainly come, guided by reason and not emotions. This is not because he is a bad guy; on the contrary, it may even be a very good and kind, but he was - a man, which means looking at things from a practical point of view. He knows that if he goes on about the emotions, it will cause great problems for his family, but he does not want this. Therefore, after passing through the passions with you, it will move forward - together with his family.
Be honest with yourself: all that we are told, is waiting for you, if you - a lover. And if you say to yourself: "I love a married man, and I'll do anything to be with him" - then be prepared for what is ahead of you, not only joy but also pain. To protect yourself from too strong feelings, try to understand that it can only be a very small part of your life, and never this part will not be as big as you would like.
You should lead a life that would be so filled with people and the interests that you have not appeared in the void after the break and were able to survive the pain. Constant circle of friends and active life together with that part of life in which it is present, - it should be required to have. Let your friends know that you're still glad to communicate with them regularly. You even should not get hung up on sex only with her lover; If he lives with his wife, not as a monk, then why do not you let yourself relax with someone else? This would give you an opportunity to make sure that in the eyes of many men you look sexy and attractive.
You need to step back and identify their priorities. Learn to think not in heart and head, as well as your man. The best thing that you could do if you feel that begin to fall in love with him for real, - as quickly as possible to get out of this relationship.
How to stop loving a married man
There are different ways to stop loving him. It is only important to understand that most of all keeps you near him. Some women maintain a relationship with her lover, because it helps them financially. But it's very humbling, is not it? Others simply do not think about the consequences: now well, and there - come what may! This is unwise, because nothing good will. And someone comfortable with the status quo, because the women themselves do not want to assume any obligations in relation to men.
Whatever it was, if you want to stop loving a man not free, there are a few things you need to do. First of all, reconsider how much you love yourself. Do you love yourself enough to be satisfied by the "crumbs" of time that your man is offering you? Or do you want to have a strong relationship that will last the rest of your life?
Second, put yourself in the place of his wife. How would you feel if you were his wife? And if he have ever betray the same way? Also, ask yourself, if by some miracle, your man will stay with you, how much time will pass before he will lead another affair - now behind your back? Can you really trust him? And if you can not trust, and love it, most likely no, there is only obsession.
To stop loving married, you do not need magic potion, you will only need to change their views on such a life. Only your will to say "no." Only your will not answer his calls. In your will to take control of the situation. You can put an end to all kinds of excuses why you are still with him, and your will find the strength to turn away from him forever. Do this for several reasons: because you do not want to destroy his family, because you respect yourself, and most importantly - because you do not want to build a relationship with a cheater and a liar. Throw it and move on - to its true happiness. To the main happiness of any woman - to be the only favorite for his men.