All of us, creating a family, be naive to think that quarrels it will not. After all, we love and understand each other, therefore, we will live together happily ever after. Without scandals and conflicts. The soul of the soul. Meanwhile, time passes, and quarrels begin to appear almost from scratch. Sometimes we despair, believing that love goes away. However, the argument - this is quite normal. Emerging from time to time conflicts between living alongside humans is inevitable and even a sign of a healthy family. It is important to know how to quarrel, to one row over unwashed dishes or scattered newspapers has not resulted in a dramatic finale.
Usually seasoned female family experience teach us how to behave with her husband that he was satisfied with everything. How to talk to him as to meet with the work as serve lunch ... But how to quarrel with a man who does not teach virtually none. And it is written about it a bit, and lectures nobody reads. So let's think about ourselves, how can we make trouble so that both pairs of release, and the family has not collapsed.
Why is there an argument?
Most family quarrels start because of the sheer nonsense, smoothly flowing then almost universal in the war between the spouses. Then she gets the status of the Cold War, a tense atmosphere in the house, sullen silence of husband and wife and their stubborn unwillingness to look into each other's eyes. Sometimes such a situation is discharged within a day or two. And sometimes it drags on for weeks and even months, creating an increasingly deep gulf between the spouses. As a result of a quarrel begins because of trifles, it can rupture. And only then, after a divorce, we begin to understand the pain that a significant occasion for him, in fact, was not.
Wonderful finale, is not it? Two loving each other man went in different directions because of the scattered socks. But the conflict could be settled in the beginning, rather than letting it develop into an implacable hostility. Only for this you should be able to quarrel so that ultimately improve family relationships. And do not kill them, causing each other and enduring unbearable pain.
Unfortunately, correctly arguing not all spouses. We do not know how to interfere. Hot, irritated, goes beyond all limits, wrongly accusing an opponent of all sins ... The same family quarrels is often acquires the character of the fighting without rules, where the husband and wife seek as much as possible have hurt one another. It is understandable. The couple are well aware the most vulnerable places of each other, and beat the heat of an argument is to these places. Hence - the deepest resentment and the inability to forgive them and zabyt.Voznikaet misunderstanding chill in relations, divorce. Conclusion: learn how properly to quarrel, it is very important.
Let's see if there are some unwritten laws of correct family quarrels.
Rules normal family quarrels
We have already said that even in a very well-marriages periodic quarrels almost inevitable. At the same time after the scandals of the family not only did not fall - they are strengthened, improved, becoming more harmonious and safe. It is fair to say that in these families during an argument correctly behaves normally wife. Men are more straightforward. And if they declare war, they rush into battle, not particularly thinking about the tactics of his conduct. So, to the scandal between husband and wife did not lead to the collapse of marriage, tactician there should be a woman.
So how do women behave tactics during quarrels? They adhere to certain rules. Namely:
Scandal in the family should apply only prompted his reasons. It is impossible, since a row over scattered things or unwashed utensils, and then move to a situation from the past, to family, friends or some unrelated to quarrel about the shortcomings of spouse;
The quarrel should not use phrases like "... but you always! "Or" You never ...! ". According to psychologists, such expression is none other than the man on the programming of the same action in which it criticized. My husband, if he is guilty of something, you need to give a chance to improve. It is unlikely that our half so we want to upset. Quite the contrary;
The correct odds in any case can not remember what it was a year, a month, a week ago. You should not even touch what happened yesterday;
In general, the quarrel should take place within certain limits of emotional boundaries. In anger, we are not well controlled and we can tell a lot of things that in the quiescent state and does not occur. Go then prove better half, it was just anger! Therefore, as soon as you feel that you start to boil in earnest - was removed in the other room and count to ten. So calm down and you can, if you really have a desire to continue to quarrel with "sober" head;
Take the time to respond rapidly to some insulting remark husband. Take a slow inhalation and exhalation two or three times. And then quietly says something back. Do not forget about the rule of "cool head"! ;
For regular quarrels in the family is to invent a ritual. For example, arrange with her husband about a dress code for the scandals: coats, blouses, shirts of a certain type. And at the slightest sign of the tense atmosphere in the house, immediately go into the bedroom and puts on "clothes for the scandal." Such techniques could not be more help to recession stress;
Do not blow the scandal of a few days, do not be silent and do not impregnable appearance. Often, men and would come up with an apology, but we look as if once again ready to rush into battle. As a result, our husbands frightened Retiro back home and turn in on themselves. They should not be hurt after an argument - the man we are vulnerable. It will be better after some time after the scandal to pretend that nothing had happened, or even apologize. It's nothing that her husband will still keep silent, or in response to mutter something. Man must emphasize their status. It will take some time, and it thaws.
Saving family - not an easy task. And the success of its solution depends mainly on women. Because of the nature of a woman wiser and more tolerant. That it creates a mood in the house, and that she can do all households are happy or unhappy. What such is our fate! Therefore, to keep the heat for many years in a relationship with her husband, is to learn how to quarrel with him. For any normal husband does not like scandals and heart really wants his half was pleased with it.
Sometimes our pious just do not understand, which is why the scandal broke. After all, that it seems to be all right - and the salary brought home and favorite sofa got his master. Rejoice, my wife! And she, instead of joy, spewing thunder and lightning. They say, go ahead then, like a log, things scattered around the house, all the plates in the sink took off, and so on and so forth. The husband, naturally, begins to defend himself. And off we go. As a result, it turns out that he spoiled his better half lives that are nothing but trouble from him, and in general they have to disperse. And yet. And turned everything upside down. My husband did not want to come back home from work, he spends more and more time with friends. And then, perhaps, no longer friends.
Unfortunately, such a scenario family relationships are often. No, of course, there are situations when a man had committed a significant offense. But even in this case, a huge scandal - not an option. The quarrel of this kind will only give her husband an occasion for self-justification, and will set up a long time against his wife. But calm, quite hard talk will understand that their actions should be reviewed and corrected.
To avoid squabbles over trifles, it is better to distribute to family responsibilities and to establish any rules. For example, if the wife is at work, at home removes the husband, and vice versa. Or that the cleaning was done together. With mutual understanding and agreement significantly reduced the number of grounds for quarrels. Daily quarrels over trifles so spoil our lives! And we are so difficult then to say beloved: "I'm sorry, my good. I was wrong! "And the accumulated grievances, and growing dissatisfaction with each other, and lost love and warm relations. And all this because of the dirty dishes, and scattered socks ?!
Is our happiness is so cheap, that we so easily and lightly we return it? Scandals, scandals, scandals ... No, absolutely no quarrels in the family is almost impossible to do. That's how the people - strong negative emotions contribute to its internal progress. Therefore, almost all of us need them. But do not let them break our lives. Happiness - is very fragile thing. So let's take care of it and we will quarrel with his beloved only by the rules!
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A man who dreams ... Well, the girls did not dream of it, introducing his chosen something like a handsome prince, then as a courageous knight, how handsome young tycoon! They suffer, tossing and harass yourself the question: "How to find the man of her dreams and make him love me forever? "Meanwhile, the relationship between a man and a woman - a mysterious thing. And the girl, passionately dreaming of a prince charming, suddenly falls in love with unremarkable boy from next door. And suddenly it turns out that nobody something to her but it is not needed, and she wants her life to go hand in hand with him only. Because, it turns out, that this guy is the man of her dreams. And not some prince, a knight or a tycoon.
Strange, is not it? For a more romantic prince, knight more reliable, and more comfortable with the oligarch. Of course, all these features are not enough men. But do not lose is now the head of a regular guy! And she, a head that is, somehow lost. It turns out, we did not dream of who we need. And it is terrible to imagine what would have happened instead tuck this guy some prince, a knight or a tycoon! Even drowning in luxury, we could hardly feel happy.
Often a man dreams of a girl is on the stereotypes imposed by society. In fact, each of us is unique, therefore, and the man dreams of each should have its own. How do you determine what it should be in reality, and thus not to be deceived cruelly? And where to find him, the man next to whom it will be warm and comfortable to live? Let's try to figure it out.
Where to look for a man dream?
Of course, we all want to elect was well, if not a millionaire, so even a wealthy person. The hut is not live. Even a penny a lifetime do not want to be considered. However, unfortunately, really wealthy young people are not so many, and the contenders for a place of their wives - many. In addition, Lawless Heart, and often happens that a nice young man the money we do not quite interesting. Reason insists that here, they say, everything with him. But handsome somehow boring, sad, and do not want to, he was always there.
What is the reason? It is difficult to answer this question. One thing is clear - we do not always have a clear idea of who we ultimately need. And hardly anyone would argue that to marry a person is unnecessary you condemn yourself if not in flour, then throwing sure. It is unlikely that such a marriage can be happy.
So what to do? Where to find the man of her dreams and not to be mistaken in this case? To begin with, let us remember all the friends and not even very good friends of young people. We distinguish them from the circle of those who belong to the same social group that we are. People belonging to a social group, often have similar interests and similar views on life and almost similar needs. Therefore, they are well aware of each other, which often contributes to the rapid emergence of sympathy.
Then, from the scheduled number of men choose those most appropriate for us by external qualities. Why is that? Because if a man is handsome too, with him we will feel awkward. Unless, of course, are not themselves the likeness of Catherine Deneuve. Do not we? Well, then, choose a nice and charming guy who will not be in communion with us and complexes will behave in natural ways. This behavior usually causes sympathy.
And now, after we have defined the part of young people, which should be our dream man, trust your heart and intuition. Let them prompt, who of guys more than others do for us, and according to their own state, and by temperament. Perhaps to someone from these men, we are already experiencing the interest, while some of them are beginning to have feelings of love for us. Sometimes it happens that a guy - our complete opposite. So what? There are many happy couples in which the husband and wife act as the perfect complement to each other.
Well, we finally chose a candidate for man of her dreams. And now we fantasize, imagining what will be our affair with him. And fantasize so until then, until we understand that we have to change the chosen one does not want. All. The first stage of the search man dream is over. However, this is not enough. Now it is necessary to attract and more.
How to make him love me a man dream?
So, we already know about where to find the man of dreams, but as yet little idea how to attract his attention. To do this, of course, need to show their best qualities. All women, in one way or another, are inclined to be frank. In this case, it is to our advantage. He proved himself as a sincere and frank, and the man next to us will feel at ease. This will create conditions for trust, warm relationship. If the young man revealed to us and trust in a relationship will have some intimacy.
This should not, of course, to tell him everything about yourself, without a trace. The woman should always be some mystery to solve that like any man. The main thing is that our chosen realized that we have entrusted to him that trust is not all. And it's - evidence of our special relationship to it.
On the problems in the first stages of convergence are not talking. Better to let in the view of our chosen we lucky and optimistic woman. By gloomy, burdened unresolved task of special men do not really stretch. So the young man tell the stories mostly about themselves, which we were lucky. But do not go too far, that we are not perceived as excessively boastful young lady. In all important sense of proportion.
Well, we have chosen a man almost conquered? Then turn on your feminine charm. Let no one think that in our face, he got a friend. We behave as befits a woman. Let helps carry heavy bags, opens up the door wraps when it is cold, cares in the end! After all, the more a person is worried about someone, the closer and more expensive, this "someone" gets it. Well, when we finally become her chosen road, we can assume that the job is done. Man dreams found.
Perhaps someone is advice on how to find the man of her dreams seem too pragmatic. Maybe ... But our dreams are often unrealistic, and look for the fairy prince or knight can be a lifetime. A man need to create a dream and not to invent. You need to build your own happiness, in reality, not in a dream world. So let us act. And we will succeed!
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