In the 21st century, more and more frequently a problem of love and marriage as infantile husband. If unadapted woman does not cause much irritation (it perfectly finds himself in the role of a housewife), the non-self is usually a man deserves public censure.
Moreover, the husbands go to his infantilism much further women. Maladjusted wife still leads the household, preparing dinner. From the man-child of such assistance should not wait. They motivate their refusal to help on the farm that is "not a man's job." Their duty - once a year to hammer a nail into the wall and nothing else. That woman pulls the whole family on itself. Incidentally, nails also become her duty as Infante was not used to so much to do something that they suspended Regiment threatened to fall off after a couple of days.
Where are such modern marriage problems like infantile husband? How to recognize them? And how to deal with men's lack of independence? Psychologists believe that the emergence of infantile directly related to feminism and women's tug on the blanket championship. However, it is debatable. Feminism is not the cause but the consequence?
Modern problems of marriage and the family began when the men stopped earning, to be leaders, support the family. But somebody has to do it? So roll up their sleeves 50% of women to shoulder the burden of family life. Do you think she wants it so badly? Work hard at work for 10 hours rather than go to the gym, in the beauty salon? Apparently, she likes to run headlong from work to cook dinner, wash, clean up and dust off forever lying on the couch (sitting at a computer) husband?
What keeps a woman with such a man? There can be several:
- Children (By the way, infantile love children, and the completion of such families there fast enough);
- Nowhere to go (quite a common problem);
- Pity (unadapted man emotionally tied to his victims, making them co-dependent. To put it simply, "I would throw guy, but sorry, lost without me").
- Who needs a divorced woman with a child (Infante often "feeds" this version, a woman developing self-doubt)
- Love. (This is the strongest binding. Unadapted husbands are usually gentle and romantic).
Portrait of a Hero
So who is the infantile man? It has not matured boy. These people usually are not designed to make money, it is difficult to drive a nail, heat a pan of soup. Infantile husbands can not afford to forget about the slip. And if you approach them with the claim, just make round eyes puzzled. How are the kids.
In fact they are nothing to forget. They just laziness. Why do something if you can safely play computer games. And the problem will resolve itself. Checked.
No money to pay for water or light? Well, "no court no." Do not go, he, in fact, to earn!
Infante quietly waiting for the problem to grow to global proportions, and its decision will be connected outsiders. Mom, dad, wife, friends, relatives - all run the chain of command with the request not to submit to unreasonable tenant to court until he peacefully playing computer games. But why rush? He said that everything will be decided. And the money was given, and receipts in the order resulted. Beauty! Infante quite stretched in his chair and starts the next round of computer games
The word "depression" is the first in the list of words used. My wife called the bum? Infantile husband fell into a universal sadness. I offend. Wet feet? Pre preparing for a large-scale cold, simultaneously cursing her husband for what sent him into the rain to buy bread. On the problem of love and marriage are added constantly depressed gentle husband. And in the end his wife stops him to find fault, believing that "our own peril." All the same, in fact do nothing, but the lips puff for a week. And this is precisely what we sought cunning.
If the husband is childish, do not expect a confession and strong feelings. Such a person loves only himself. No, he will say what you are wonderful, but all the words can be translated as: "You are so wonderful, that care about me." Treason is also part of the lifestyle of the Infanta. It is not remorse. It's so nice. Why not do it.
Such a man is usually born from a strong and strong-willed mother. Father, as a rule, or not (divorced when the child was very young), or he is completely dependent on the opinion of his wife.
A child with a childhood completely took care of (not uncommon when infantile - the only children in the family). Any requests are even before it was announced. As a result, people get used to the fact that everything for him. That is all there. And the strain is not necessary.
When Infante was growing up, he continued to wrap up in children's pants, buying an apartment, getting a job, helping with money. Problems of family and marriage prudently parents decide, buying everything you need, introducing son with the right people, finding his resignation bride. And if real life was beginning to show its true face, unripe boy simply frightened. Shouted the chief? I wrote a letter of resignation. Misunderstanding with a friend? He struck him out of his life not to bother with the analysis of the situation and an apology. Infante always follows the path of least resistance. And perhaps even just sitting on the ground, and life rushes by.
Guess who Infante takes a wife? That's right, a woman who will be similar to his mother. After all, the main task of such a man (albeit unconscious) is to replace the nurse-mother's nurse-wife. That is, you need to find a woman who obediently took it on himself all the household chores and his incomparable.
To do this, select the Infanta that:
- able to provide for his family (work to be just a woman);
- It will be dependent on it for some reason (age, past, no flat, having children)
- will lower social status (infantile very important to feel superior)
- She will love him.
Wives childish always confident. They believe that they have, and so incredibly lucky to have such a husband. And the fact that he is lazy and non-self, so it is the nature of this feature.
The philosophy of a woman:
"Look, we all drink Zina's husband and her arm raises. And my quiet, calm, do not drink, do not walk. What else does? Money? It is not important. Especially because I'm good income. But my husband does not need much. Cigarettes, cookies (I have a sweet tooth) and tea. But he loves me and the children "
The fact that it is simply a healthy man uses a woman does not occur. For the time being.
How to recognize the infantile man
No special skills to do this difficult. Such people initially very well camouflaged. For the first time a woman will feel that this man gives her a lot. So a divorced woman with a child can "bite" that Infante gets along famously with her child (as itself in the soul of the child), not against the marriage certificate and is ready to give her everything that currently owns. While the other men warily sizing the child and offered a civil marriage (and suddenly not getting on).
Plus, his family will be treated well, and the woman, and child. This kind of "honey trap". They had already recognized the nature of his Infanta and will be only too happy to push it on someone else's shoulders.
By the way, if Infante begins to offer his beloved mountains of gold and to give the shirt, I do not believe. This is a lie. These men are very carefully guarded all that speak, because they realize that they themselves are on this thing can not earn money. Therefore, the original promises and words will remain.
Types of infantile
There are two types of such men:
- The first is well aware that he is not yet ripe, and will build relationships in an "adult-child." That is, his wife will not claim to be a woman and a mother. Protect, feed, provide. In everyday life it is very similar to the child. Cheerful and affectionate, when my mother smiles. And cranky when he is expected to justice. This type of control is waiting for a permanent wife and silently hated her because she always tells it what to do.
- The second type for anything in the world does not recognize that he - Infante. He will scream that this world is not perfect. And here it is - exactly what you need. The best. In order to emphasize their superiority, such a man marries the near homely girl, in comparison with which the man himself will look real hero.
At the hour when a young wife will fall colored glasses (and they certainly will fall, too Infante not independent, it is difficult not to notice). And youthful look will no longer light up adoring husband will find her temporary replacement as a mistress. The one who will tell you that it is something - a real man. And those who does not think, he just jealous.
And will live as long as someone does not get tired of this farce.
What if the husband infantile?
Many women fell for immature personality, start tormented question: what to do? Psychologists have identified several solutions to this problem:
- Forced to shift the burden of responsibility on the shoulders of men. To do this, get sick, lose your job, get stuck into trouble. However, forced to disappoint you. If this method works, it is short-lived. Of course, Infante is capable of temporary manifestation of masculinity. But in order to earn and he always took care of the family at the other men, you need to get sick all the time, sitting without work or live with adversity. But it does not help. Infante will take care of a month, two, three, until you realize that it is more profitable to change his wife than to exert much effort.
- To put the question squarely. Say, dear, if you're in the past month (the period set for yourself), you will not find a job, you'll be forced to find a new wife. This method works only if you are completely happy enough that the husband started to bring home at least some money. That is, he will remain a misfit, but will no longer ask you for money for cigarettes.
- Continue to work, but to create a situation in the family, one with which you do not. For example, for the rent up a lot of debt. This should be done bewildered face and constantly seek support for her husband, "Honey, what do we do? "This method is triggered when the infantilism of the husband is not very developed, and he is still capable of doing. If you live with a bath selfish, in response to the problem, he will do the same confused and round eyes: "I have no idea, my dear."
- Divorce. If a man really loves you, that in a relatively short period of time he will fulfill all long-term assignments that you give him. Get a job, make repairs in the kitchen, to repair the roof in the country. Then he solemnly show you all the changes and ask for a refund. But do not be fooled. All these feats he performed in a state of shock. Once the waves die down, and the man will see you again next, and all the old, it will turn into the old sloth, who scored with a nail fiftieth reminders and instead throw garbage carefully tamps bucket. Of course there are other developments: hubby safely move under the warm wing of the other (the new wife, mother). But in any case, why do you need such a naughty boy unadapted instead of her husband?
- Tolerate further. The most common way out. The woman begins to lie to themselves and others. Get rid of friends who try to uncover her eyes to the fact that it is simply used for their own purposes. Infantile husband empower non-existent skills. Buy gifts on his behalf. Simply put, the wife adapt to such a life. However, nothing good result is not obtained. (Only if a woman does not have good health). From the moral and physical perenagruzok wife sooner or later he falls ill. A husband is not accustomed to someone worried, or is not able to help her, and let the disease take its course, or simply runs away from problems. Very often it happens that the husband suffering from infantilism, abandon their frail women in their old age. They lived in the greenhouse conditions and well preserved. Then the wife of the harsh life of early aged and no longer attracts him as a woman.
The positive side of life with infantile
Let's finish the story the positive aspects? After all, life is a childish - it is not only a double burden, and, in fact, the adoption of misfit husband. There are positive aspects from such a marriage. What kind? Let's look for.
Woman becomes more independent. She learns to rely only on herself. For these women there is always a way out, they do not lose heart. Incidentally, in monetary terms, they are also more responsible. With her husband unemployed, you should always have a nest egg just in case if she, for whatever reason, will not be able to work.
Wives infantile there is strong personal growth. They start to develop faster, learn new skills. That's because they now have to work for two, that's a woman looking for a job more prestigious, better paid.
A husband will never tell a woman what to do. He simply does not have an opinion, which is very convenient for the authoritarian wives. Girlfriends months prove the second half of the need to buy a new TV, while their husbands worked argue that this TV will be enough of their grandchildren. A Infante answered obediently only nod his head: "Whatever you say, dear"
In any case, at what stage of relationship you would not have been a childish, let me give some advice: Love yourself. Do not put your life on the altar of another's unsuitability, laziness and unwillingness to do something. You deserve better, believe me!