At the beginning of a romantic relationship, after a conversation with a "senior" couple, we sometimes exclaim: "What ?! Sex couple of times a month ?! With us this will never happen! ". And now, after some time, we are horrified to realize that because of our sex life has left its former intensity. How can I return it? How to diversify sex life?
The reasons for the extinction of the passions
Every phenomenon is a reason - it is one of the main laws of the universe. The same applies to the "winter" in your bedroom. Not necessarily, that it is only in one thing - a common cause of overlap, and it only confuses the situation. To unravel it, you must deal with them. So, what you are missing in your relationship? What you can get in the way?
Birth of a child
When the couple think about procreation, they all seem to exclusively in glowing terms: cheeked smiling baby and mom and dad, steadily and slowly walking with him through the parks of the city. However, the reality is much more severe: the sleepless nights, diapers, costs, references, and a whole bunch of clinics falls on young parents, like an avalanche. Besides all this, the baby just does not leave time to stay together and make love. It turns out that many couples faced with this, consider their intimate destroyed.
When we fall in love, everything seems perfect partner, including its shortcomings. But after a while rose-colored glasses fall from the eyes, and you are surprised to find: my companion - an ordinary man, who turns out to have a bunch of pretty damn far. In our society, we lost the culture of the partner of choice when the wedding ceremony - a point of no return, after which we fully accept his beloved as he is. There comes a family crisis naturally causes cooling feeling.
Joint life - is not only an opportunity to see your favorite day and night. It also accounts for an apartment, a broken washing machine, you need to plan a budget, buy food, go to the family and so on. Gradually this pile gets bigger and bigger, and, coming home from work in the evening, you just want to eat, watch TV and go to bed. None of what romance and no one thinks.
It would seem that this should cause the kindling of passion! But it is not always: in some cases, when one partner sees the views of others, aimed not at the second half, his self-esteem drops, and it feels unnecessary. There is jealousy and insecurities that prevent a person to love and given his passion without reserve. Most often in such a situation get women, but men are not immune from this.
Lack of novelty
Oh-oh-oh, how often complain about this "pozhivshie" couples! Many of the situation itself boosts courtship and start new relationships, when you read each other's views, guessing thoughts, and sex appears every time something new and surprising. After five years of marriage is lost, and there is only so familiar partner with whom sex is on the usual scenario.
Being in a serious relationship, many people no longer look after themselves. Women wear a bathrobe and curlers, no longer do hair removal, and men, in turn, grow a beer belly and do not hesitate to scratch an intimate place in the presence of his wife. Naturally, this lamentable effect on sexual attraction.
Exiting the "role"
Many of us in an attempt to please the partner, begin to try to show their best side. This is reflected in the constant control over himself and change his behavior. Partner accustomed to this way, and when you are tired of years of work, become a, for him it is an unpleasant surprise. This is especially true in cases where a man, in pursuit of the female temperament, pretends that he likes the daily sex, although it is optimal notorious couple times a week.
It also happens that people began to express their wishes in bed, face the rejection of the opposing party. "I like the way", - she says. "And I do not really" - he says, and between them comes cooling. Although nothing fatal has happened at all.
Signs of the onset of "winter" in relations
Our life, as we know, black and white, good and bad bands alternately replaced. The same thing happens with the relationship: it is possible that today, your partner does not want sex because of fatigue, but you have already raised the alarm. How to distinguish a temporary reduction in sexual activity of this fading passion for each other?
First of all, both of you are starting to perceive sex as a duty and routine, not as a mutual pleasure. Some zealous mistress even inscribe this item on the list of cases scheduled for the day. And because sex - is a barometer of relations, its transformation from a way to spend time with a loved one in the conjugal duty guards.
Usually at the same time you stop to show passion outside the bedroom. Kisses and hugs with a loved one begin to seem a waste of time and occur only in the bedroom (all the time, is not it?). Do you remember how it was before? You could kiss for hours and could not pass by without touching the partner.
Because you think sex conjugal duty, and the attitude towards each other corresponding: you are no longer trying to deliver the maximum pleasure to the partner. On the contrary, you strive to quickly complete this annoying duty and to do these things, or what will bring you real pleasure. Indifference is felt and quickly transferred from male to female and vice versa. The culmination of indifference becomes the reluctance of sex and the desire to postpone it or even abandon it under any pretext. After all, you have so many things that neither the strength nor the time for "useless movements" no. As a result, after several stories about fictional headache body included in the script and starts to "help" you, you really have a headache in those rare moments when your partner wants to have sex.
Teeth on edge sexy scenario - another sign of problems in the relationship. For some time you have spent on it, to understand that each of you like in bed. Now you know each other perfectly and can blindly go from calm to excitement. Erogenous zones are known partner, and you strive to reach the point of enjoying the easiest and shortest way. But it can cause boredom, because sex - it is also the desire to surprise a loved one, to please him in a new way.
No wonder if in this situation, each partner begins to look "on the side". Betrayal - it is usually a signal that the relations of the missing passion and intimacy. And it was for sex, the two things are manifested most clearly! Remember that frequent glances at other men and compare them with your partner - this alarm bell. The most interesting is that these crisis moments happen all couples, so change the flea in the middle of the road rather silly.
If you recognize yourself in this description, it is time to act! In no case can not close our eyes to what is happening and to console themselves with phrases like "I do not think this is just." There is a risk that you will soon become a partner with each other strangers, and you do not want to allow this?
Tips for Couples
Any person available control their sex lives Therefore, if you find no former passion in your relationship, it's not a reason to give up on myself and my love. Use our tips on the topic of how to diversify sex life, and you'll be pleasantly surprised by the results. Just approach to this case is reasonable: do not do anything, why would you not lay the soul, and that does not suit your pair. This will help avoid shock reactions in men and hatred against such articles in the future.
One of the main causes of sexual neuroses - a swarm of thoughts swirling in your head. It's like in the famous joke: husband "work" on his wife, and she thinks about whitewashing the ceiling. Unfortunately, this sad phenomenon faced by many women. And here is one way out: Turn off your head! Every time you are going to surrender to the partner, just stop thinking about everyday worries and troubles. Stop the flow of force and arbitrary pre-configures itself to the fact that the next half hour - only for you and your partner love.
The problem of children
Very often on the forums can be found snide comments about all sorts of "sex" tips related to the inability to their implementation in a family with children. In this case, it is first necessary to solve the "child" question. Options can be very different: a trip for a night or evening to her grandmother, a hike with friends or the nurse invited to the zoo, an amusement park, cinema, theater, educational classes, laying down to sleep in a separate room. Come up with something always can be - it would wish! And then often have to face the fact that children are missing an excuse sexual life.
Take the initiative
Start small, to prepare the delicate psyche of a partner to the rapid onslaught. If, after a long lull you attacked him right in the hallway, it can cause not joyous reaction from the shock and anger ending. The simplest - is to be active and show him what you want to sex (if it is not your usual scenario). Or take the initiative in the process: to be more assertive, sharp, try the position of "woman on top". Do not be afraid of being rejected - perhaps today, it really is not set up to have sex, but you can try again tomorrow. The man should be given the time that he was accustomed to a new version of events.
They are described in many women's magazines: erotic lingerie, candles around the room, shared bathroom reception, striptease, blowjob with chunks of ice in your mouth, cream and fruit used for foreplay, etc. You understand that the limitations in bed does not exist. We advise you to begin sexual experimentation when a man gets used to your performance, and it will not be a shock for him. In addition, they should not be the responsibility and the kind of "peak", which you want to achieve. Admits the idea that perhaps some ideas fail, and their partner simply will not accept. Your task - to revive the sex life and explore what else can bring you both enjoy.
If the reason for the cooling in your relationship - boredom and monotony, the easiest way to solve this problem - change. You can start with the fact that change the place where you usually indulge in the passion - the couple they usually turns out to be a bed. Think about where this happened before: in the bathroom, car, cinema, toilet aircraft in nature, etc. ... Perhaps an attempt to "remember the youth" will be for you a source of new feelings. Or try the "stick" to the partner in unexpected places, such as at a party with your friends - this can be a thrilling experience for both of you.
The same applies to time and if you have previously proximity happened just before going to bed, then now is the time to change the usual ritual. Seduce your man at the time, he would come for dinner (do not forget to feed the post). Or wake up fifteen minutes early and take the initiative - it most likely will be the most beautiful morning of his life.
The strongest "variable" artillery. If your men are used to seeing you in the form of a thin Impatiens, change the image and present yourselves in front of him in the role of vamp: corset, black lace stockings, high heels combined with drive and some bitchiness provide a boost of energy to your pair. And if you're always behave aggressively, try role Turgenev ladies: wide eyes and innocent image in combination with the snow-white lace shirt can do wonders. And in general can be one evening during the week to make a "role" to play and every time any new erotic act.
It's very exciting! It just so happened that in our culture the topic of sex taboo, even for the most advanced steam is sometimes difficult to discuss the nuances of the intimate life. However, some difficulties can be solved only talk (well, and, of course, follow-up). However, talking about sex is not necessarily related to the problems: sometimes the goal is to increase the degree of passion in a relationship. In this regard, it may be useful to discuss fantasies (just be careful, because there is always the risk of running into itself and condemn the condemnation - this should not be allowed!). And the simplest and most innocuous variant, which under the force of each pair - little notes of love, in which you can describe what you do with your partner, when you see it.
If you've not come into contact with this remarkable formation of modern culture, be sure to try it now. The main thing - do not be shy, and refers to it as a source of new impressions and experiences. Oh yeah, do not be on pornographic heroes - you do remember that there are selected only the "most-most"?
Clear separation can be a powerful aphrodisiac
Just do not use this method at the beginning of the rehabilitation of their sex - it can conceive the opposite effect. But when you're already warmed love notes, changes and experiments, suddenly separated for a few days, your reunion would be the equivalent of a honeymoon.
Do not forget that you do not always want a holiday, the theater and bright colors. Sometimes the most powerful sex stimulant acts as a married bed and a partner, every feature which you are familiar. After the shake-up is very nice "back to basics", that is proven over the years to the sexual scenario - unless of course you both want it. Just do not forget to dilute it sometimes erotic fantasies and sexual experimentation.