Seek and develop friendships and romantic relationships
Once again about the use of the diary
All of us from time to time there are something to upset or saddened. Such feelings - a perfectly normal reaction of our psyche to certain stimuli that come from the outside. And most of us are able to cope with this condition and clearly understands what needs to be done to re-experience the joy of life.
And if such a state was delayed and moved into a depression - what to do in that case? How to beat depression, in which direction to move?
Find out the cause of depression
To fight the enemy, acting by stealth, we must try to find him in the face. If you can not understand what the cause of your depression, then look for the key to his life today compared with the period when nothing prevents you from being happy.
The best way to understand his depression - study it carefully. Please use a scale from zero to ten to several times during the day to evaluate the effect of negative emotions and the severity of their condition. Do it best, leading a special diary. Every day, assess their condition, making it as often as possible during the day, and be sure to write down what you were doing in that period of time, which is estimated.
Observations show that people who are even serious depression, bad mood experiencing is not the time. Usually, they feel much better when doing something - are at work, busy cooking, visit friends or relatives, do the cleaning and the like. And worst of all they feel in the "standby" - on weekends, in the evenings and so on.
So, observing their condition, you will be able to identify with what is usually associated your melancholy and malaise. The easiest way to change the emotions for the better - just start to act in order to feel comfortable. When you are able to determine what causes you to be distracted from the unpleasant thoughts, you will be easier to avoid the deterioration of mood and well-being.
Compliance with another rule to help you beat depression. The rule is: if you want to be happy, more often smile, be friendly with others and find as many interests and hobbies in my life. Do not wait until you will have a good mood, build it yourself. Those suffering from depression are people who follow this rule, feel a lot better. This behavior is becoming for them a convenient and natural.
In addition, the surrounding usually react positively to such a change in behavior so that you get much more pleasure from communicating with people. So try not only to work on your mood, but and improve your body language. Improve your non-verbal behavior that is able to give to others your depression. Do not speak softly, slowly and boring monotonous voice. Try to show him changing the height and pitch to sound enthusiastic. Watch your posture: do not slouch, keep your back straight and your shoulders straighten. Do not lower your head and do not look all the way down. Actively use eye contact with people and in any case not frown.
Take correcting his bad habits
You probably already have identified their habits that contribute to depression. After all, you kept a diary of his observations of depression? Now start work on replacing negative thoughts to positive. If you tend to blame their depression circumstances or other people, struggle with such thoughts, because they will make you feel helpless. You say to yourself: "I myself drove themselves into a depression. I should not have to respond to this situation or to actions or words of this man. " Develop self-confidence, train problem-solving skills, and next time, use more positive thinking in a similar situation.
If you think other people think of you is bad, you say to yourself: "I can not read minds. So I should not assume that they think so, and not otherwise. " Humor also help you to solve many of life's problems, preventing drowning in negativity.
If you find it difficult to motivate yourself for some serious matter, try to start small. If you force yourself to just start, then very quickly you'll find that you can even get the pleasure of the first steps in the task, and received at the same time allow all the skills with more confidence to do the following steps. So do not let negative thoughts about the upcoming fact block progress towards improvement and interfere with your happiness.
Most likely, the negative thoughts do you have when you do not have enough energy, decreased mood, make hard physical activity, etc. Replace negative thoughts with positive, like, "So I feel only at the beginning, then it will be much better," "I just try to do it. Who knows, maybe I really like it? "Or" Why sit around and be bored? I'll try to make it better! "
Depressed people tend to forget about the feeling of pleasure and the joy of achievement, in an attempt to make something new, and in many other areas of life. Learn to recognize these feelings! Cultivate, nurture in himself even the smallest germs such feelings, proud of what you are doing. Most say to yourself: "Oh, it's not bad! Maybe if I try to do it a few more times, I like it even more? "Or:" Not bad for a first try! I imagine how cool I'll do it next time. "
Repeat those activities that give you the greatest sense of satisfaction and pleasure. This will help to consolidate the positive changes in your mood and perception of reality. And remember - winning is not the one who waits, and those who act!
The balance in your life is very important
Everyone should keep a balance between pleasure and work. Anyone who is too busy working for the preservation of health is necessary to reduce the burden and give yourself a chance to rest. But people suffering from depression, prolonged rest and inactivity can only hurt, and we have already talked about this. They need to make sure to always be doing something. For them, the rest should be active.
Many doctors and psychologists recommend regular exercise to facilitate overcoming depression - which is very important! - Improving the overall tone and mood. Physical training strengthens us doing more energetic. A deep relaxation helps people find harmony within yourself and helps combat depression, especially in the states of unwarranted anxiety. Learn more about the different techniques of relaxation and meditation and learn to use them in their lives.
Curb "reward" for passive or dependent behavior
When you're plunging into a depression, complain, cry, talk about your sorrow or reasoning problems, your friends and family are likely to meet your compassion and tender love. Unfortunately, such a reaction loved ones serves as a reward and not soften, but only feeds your depression. Moreover, it ensures that you have formed dependent behavior. A man is often weak, and he would like very much to be pitied, and all sympathized, almost vying with each offering their assistance.
Did you expect such a "reward" when drowning in negative thoughts or self-pity. Someone starts to have too much, someone unnecessarily spends money buying everything, someone is abusing alcohol ... They think that because they can at least for some time to feel better. But all this - self-deception. It is necessary to eliminate these and any other "reward" for depressive behavior.
If you really want to make you feel better, then stop to seek solace in the complaints, a sigh, a sad and crying. Work on yourself in order to make a more active and positive your social interaction with other people, try to be warm towards them, show interest in their affairs and concerns, help them with something.
Ask your friends and relatives to ignore your behavior in the moments of possible bouts of depression. Explain to them that they will bring you much more value if it is collapsed telephone conversation or reduce a visit if you start to complain and cry, and you will spend more time and show interest when you act more positively. To talk about this very important, because most of them are close friends and people usually take the appropriate behavior of depression as a given, and try to lift your mood extra attention and warmth when you're feeling down.
Seek and develop friendships and romantic relationships
People who consider themselves happy, tend to have a few very close friends, and a lot of friends. Perhaps you, too, need to find friends? Be more open in communication, try to give people more heat, look for similar interests - and you reach for those with whom you communicate is particularly comfortable.
Family relationships are often very important to overcome depression. Acknowledgements, selfless love and care conjugal relations can protect you from depression, even severe stress; but it also happens that it was family problems lead to depression. To improve positive behavior in marriage must also be conscious work. Maybe your family does not have a trust relationship, sharing feelings and getting the recognition, understanding and emotional support from each other?
Sharing feelings is more important than just sharing some other information. Ask your husband, so that he often praised you, and that he had spoken aloud, much of what is usually a matter of course and it is therefore not made public. Let him express his recognition for what you do every day, and it does not matter what he does - in a word, a look or a gentle gesture. You try to do this to her husband the same way.
Psychologists say that when depressed people often begin to interact with their spouse and children angry and even hostile tone. You shout, constantly blowing over every detail, remembering old grievances, which, apparently, in the past, trying to insult the anger, need and start pushing ultimatums or criticizing overly generalizing? This behavior causes a host of new problems, not solving old. In addition, it can become a habit that will inevitably destroy your intimacy with loved ones. So try to block any aggression, no matter how difficult it may be.
Once again about the use of the diary
The fact that keeping a diary can help you, we have already spoken. To sum up our conversation about how to defeat depression, we can not say about what else might be useful is your personal diary. Get it special page on which you could make a list of those situations in life that gave you the experience of happiness and joy. Describe the most important points, including the beautiful scenery, especially warm moments of intimacy with you dear people, the time when you were especially fun and good.
Make another list - a list of your positive qualities. Turn it all your talents, achievements, advantages and so on. The one of her friends, who really wants to help you out of depression, can make for you a list of the best traits of your personality. A worthy assessment of other people your positive qualities will have a special value for you.
Make your own collection of inspirational thoughts, quotes, poems and affirmations. Write for yourself life-affirming, positive affirmations, and then repeat them during the day for self-improvement, or emotional well-being. For example, you can write: "I will try to be an example of friendship and love towards their fellow" or "calm and serenity fills my heart."
Keep adding more and more new items to your diary, and do not forget to regularly re written. This will help keep your mind focus on the positive, not the negative aspects of reality. A positive person in life there is no place depressed!
We strongly recommend to read: How to overcome depression
