Envy - a feeling, from which no one is immune. According to psychologists, this is nothing, as evidence of some unfavorable factors in people's lives. It happens that a person perceives real or imagined advantage over him of other people (expressed in material goods, or something else) as a direct threat to personal integrity. This feeling is accompanied by strong emotions, and some actions. In other words, envy occurs when people evaluate other people's virtues higher than their own. And mentioned the benefits do not always have the place to be. They could only exist in the imagination of man.
Jealousy causes negative emotions. It brings moral discomfort, but it is sometimes useful. After all, a man whose self-esteem drops, often intended to urgently do something in order to achieve the benefits of existing, in his opinion, the people to whom he envies. And in some cases, actually achieves apparent success that contributes to the emergence of self-esteem and self-confidence.
Psychologists say that jealousy experienced ninety-four women out of a hundred. First place in the ranking of reasons for it among her friends takes the appearance, the second - the advantages figures. In third place are the professional achievements, and the fourth - the popularity of men. Next is financial independence, and then the women are jealous of a good marriage.
How to deal with his own envy?
As a prerequisite for the emergence of jealousy often are: a very high level of ambition in unstable, high self-esteem are often too close attention to what envy anyone, boring, not satisfying careers, lack their own way of life. That is, in fact, if we see in others what we ourselves do not have enough, we want to get it. And since we are friends with different people, and that our success on the personal front, in the professional field, and so on are often different from each other.
Unfortunately, human psychology is arranged so that the envy of friends and experience. Very often it happens among women. All of us at least once caught myself thinking: "Why she is there, and I do not? "Although common sense in this matter is not perfect. Envy is not only destructive, but constructive and motivating to achieve new successes, as mentioned above. But on the negative emotions that it causes, must be able to get rid of. "What did the girlfriend to have something? "- This is how to formulate the question to answer is brought peace or gave impetus to move forward.
For example, your friend lives in a separate apartment, but she received her inheritance - lucky. And you work every day, paying the loan or deferring to have their own homes in the future. At first glance it seems that the relationship in a more advantageous position. And if you look deeper, it is just the opposite. While working, you samorealizuetes and get the opportunity to be proud of the fruits of its own success, knowing that your accomplishments depend only on yourself and not on someone else.
Furthermore, envy friends arises in the case of one of them looks something natural data exceeds another. What to do if you suffer from such feelings, experiencing them when dealing with a friend? Option two: either you take away the source of envy, stopping in contact with a friend or take it as a fact of external data and try to evaluate your. It is likely that your eyes, hair, legs, and something else does not concede on beauty, but you do not want to understand other people's envy. It turns out that you do not love yourself and that this must be fought, and not wasting time in vain, looking at the merits of others.
Envy friends arising due to a successful personal life of one of them, often do not have grounds, if we consider the preconditions for it carefully. Firstly, the relationship and the family, no one are perfect, and secondly, it is possible that you are not yet free from the bonds of marriage, is not a disadvantage. But you have plenty of time for yourself, you can be realized as a professional in any field, to travel and see a lot of interesting things in the world. And that, after all, is wrong with young independent woman who has so many events ahead? Probably your time for family relationships has not yet arrived. And by the way, think you may find yourself friends envy her freedom.
The same applies to other aspects of the lives of your female friends that seem better. If you can not completely get rid of envy, or at least not use it for fruitless agony, and as an incentive for future achievements. But first, a look sober, as well as whether you need to have something that is at your friends. And another tip: ask yourself whether you are ready to sacrifice their achievements in exchange for an opportunity to get other people? From that, what would be the answer to the question depends on your further actions.
What if a friend is jealous of you?
Envy is divided into two types - conscious and unconscious. In the first case the person understands the reasons for his condition and his actions are without any foundation. If unconscious envy, feelings and actions are intended to compensate for the missing, but people do not understand. Thus, they can not explain what it wants to achieve and why is it so necessary. Payment can be expressed in subjective comparing their own and other moral qualities, belittling someone's accomplishments, revenge and so on. All these activities are focused on the rise of self-esteem.
You have to understand that your life without envy friends, colleagues and even relatives - rather, it is a beautiful fairy tale, rather than reality. Only a narrow circle of people is able to get rid of a kind of feeling. Should we be upset about this, and always through the prism of mistrust to look at friends, looking in their comments hidden gloating about your failures or successes of envy? Of course not, or risk being left alone. But take some measures in order to protect themselves from the envious, still stands. Moreover, they only contribute to the sincere relationships with loved ones. Here are some tips on this.
Do not flaunt their achievements, remember that modesty is not only decorates, but does not give cause for envy of friends and the rest of your environment. Of course, success and happiness always want to share, but think about what might have friends do not always manage to correctly understand this desire. They may think that you kichites achieved rather than sincerely invite them to share your joy.
Bypassing the painful theme for friends. For example, if you know that the friend is not got a personal life, there is no need to dedicate it to the details of their plans for a happy marriage or a wedding. Why give an extra reason to be jealous girlfriend? Do not ask her about the problems - if you want to share them, tell myself. In this case, your mission is to help and support, for example in the form of practical advice.
Do not hesitate and do talk to a close friend about his own problems and failures. But do it, if you believe that the do not call the secret malice on her part. Perhaps your sincerity Dim light was broken out of envy girlfriend if she will understand that success does not fall from the sky, and require enormous effort on your part.
One last tip. Do not try to specifically cause a feeling of envy from friends and friends who surround you. Surely not all of them are able to suppress my arises in this case is negative towards you. Remember that boasting is fraught with deliberate revenge on the part of the envious, which can lead to very negative consequences.
In conclusion, it is worth adding the following. To get rid of jealousy, you must first stop living with an eye on others. After all, among them there will always be someone who did better than others. Secondly, it is necessary to conduct an audit of their lives, to realize that it is not as we would like. If such a factor is found, it should try to eliminate it and to work on themselves.
Finally, stop comparing yourself with others and begin to evaluate their own progress only. If it is, then, an occasion to meet their own achievements must appear. And in order not to cause envy among friends, you need to learn to be humble and sympathetic person.
We recommend that read: Women envy
What is lazy
What are lazy?
How to overcome laziness?
In the words of the great Gogol, the Russian people could well be a giant, if not one enemy. Enemy of the immaterial, however, spoil the life he "knows" how good, even great. Name it - laziness.
Few love lazy people. They constantly accuse, accuse. With them, no one wants to have anything to do. Often, very lazy lady does not feel the joy of its inherent properties - it gnaws own conscience, she scolded herself, sometimes even starting to hate himself, engaged in self-flagellation. However, all this in vain. First of all it lacks the willpower to overcome your laziness. On top of that it does not have the experience to overcome laziness. In fact, she simply does not know how to overcome laziness. Because sometimes I do not know what it is.
What is lazy
Each of us is faced with the feeling that we are waiting for a lot of work, but suddenly emerged or been familiar constant laziness prevents us to motivate yourself for the task. We do not feel in himself enough energy or simply do not want to do a specific job, because we lack sufficient encouragement or inspiration to get started. So laziness prevents us from acting; but, worse, it robs us of life experience, because we much less aspire to something, stop doing hobbies or any other activity in their spare time, reducing social circle. Let us not allow laziness to reduce our quality of life!
First of all: what is laziness? It is the psychological state of the person when he did not have the energy and / or desire to perform tasks. The reasons are different, but more on that later. The good news is that laziness can be overcome if to make some changes in your mindset. What we try to do with you.
What are lazy?
Psychologists are several types of laziness. Therefore, it can be argued that lazy as such are different.
If you consider yourself an idler, you first need to determine what type of laziness you matches. Or, to be more precise, you need to determine what type of treat you are lazy. And after this, adhering to a fairly simple tips to take to solve your problem - start the fight with laziness.
So, let's begin:
Our first type - "lazy tired"
In this case, laziness comes from the deterioration of the physical condition of a person when it is lowered physical tone. Body checking on the part of the case is not much help. How to beat the laziness of the martyr? She was fit to take the weak stimulants such as ginseng tincture, Siberian Ginseng. It does not hurt the reception course of vitamins. It may seem strange to you, but, having a form of laziness, this girl need to sleep. After all, healthy sleep has a positive effect on the life of a person and increases the activity of the body.
The second type of lack of - laziness due to lack of willpower
It is the most common type of laziness. "Lazy limp" even if she knows how important it is for her specific task, can not gather in a fist all his willpower to get started. This type of laziness often have the students (they are "too lazy" to learn, even though they know that the session just around the corner), a girl who would like to lose weight (oh, they do not want to sweat in the simulator! Last time today, eat a piece of cake, but Monday will start to lose weight!) and many drugie.Kak overcome this laziness? The secret is simple: start working, that's all. Not tomorrow, not in an hour - right now, this minute! Overcome yourself can help you a simple way: you must break a complex task into several simple.
The prospect of easy work does not stop you wish to start it. You probably noticed that sometimes it start to work much harder than to keep it. Once you are able to overcome the first hurdle, you will feel that the task itself was not so difficult, and you may even have the excitement.
Next on our list - "lazy boring"
She does not want to do their job just because she was bored. The work, which she does not like the people with whom to communicate interesting, events in which she did not want to be - all this contributes to the development and worsening of laziness. This is the easiest option. How to overcome laziness in this case? You just need to understand, recognize for yourself that it is not "your" to abandon the routine work for you, to do that like that is right for you.
Next we have - "lazy disorganized"
This is the most dangerous representative of lazy. This girl like and with the energy of all the good and interesting business deals, which she liked, but to achieve some success, it can not, can not swing, get in the right rhythm. Because of this kind of laziness may suffer and the whole future life of lazy. What should she do?
How to fight against laziness in this case concealed in the very girl. She needs to work on themselves, their efforts to form himself as a person. You also need to have a plan for each day. Yet it is important not to dwell on the failures and focus on the positive, where he was made a success. Even minimal. And be sure to praise himself for the victory achieved.
A more sophisticated form of laziness - "Intuitive laziness" caused by the type of thinking and our attitude to the problem
We all have a different way of thinking and attitude towards life. Some people are too lazy to associate with the negative, and there are those that bind lazy pleasure (also nice to do nothing!) Or perceive it as a defense mechanism to avoid extra work and overloads. Intuitive laziness is characteristic of people who at some point in their lives had to do the job, which eventually turned out to be completely unnecessary. They are built on a subconscious level certain belief that laziness will help them save time and effort that must be spent to complete the work. And those who are too lazy to connect with the negative, use it as a defense mechanism when it comes to feelings of fear, such as fear of failure, fear of responsibility and so on.
How to deal with such a laziness? The very first step is to realize that this way of thinking and perception of reality is unconstructive and can hurt you. You have to understand that to give up the job - it is a wrong decision, and it does not help you to escape from their fears.
Delaying "for later"
Such a delay may be considered as a form of laziness, because it has a lot to do with it. Agree, people postpone business on then mainly due to the fact that now too lazy to do something. Delaying "for later" and laziness in common is that they are under various pretexts interfere start doing what we need or want to do.
What to do in such a case? First, the habit of putting off the case on the back burner reduces our chances of success, and it must be clearly understood. In order to overcome this bad habit, try a tested method: As described above, start to divide the work in stages. Do not handle the immense task that seems impossible, start working from simple to complex.
There is another kind lentyaek - "restless inventor"
But this kind of lazy people can not be considered, along with the other "species". After all, these people are very lazy simplified our lives. And it continues to simplify it now. Here, for example, I was too lazy to walk - came up with the car. And all of this only benefit, right?
How to overcome laziness?
Speaking of the different types of laziness, we have suggested some ways to deal with each specific type. Now I would like to summarize and present to you the ways to overcome any kind of laziness. Here's what to do to never experience it:
Start from simple to complex
As we have said, splitting one large task into several smaller very useful to apply in order to deal with laziness. This is - an effective trick that will slowly but surely overcome your inner resistance.
Go to work step by step
Crushing tasks into smaller periods will help reduce the pressure and maintain your motivation. You will be able to perform quite relaxed small tasks one after the other. Having finished one thing, you will feel the pleasure and inspiration, as you cope with this task! The easier it will be to take on the next thing.
Compose a list of necessary cases
Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we bore down on the chaotic pile of work that needs to be urgently redone. We did not even know what to grab first, and what to do later on, and we just lose heart. Created list will help you to understand this situation, restoring the "review"; but even more important is that it helps us to understand that very often the problem seems to be more complicated than it really is. Compiling list for the current day or a week, you will be able to organize the execution of works from the simple to the more complex.
Visualize the benefits of action to inaction
Imagine how free and easy you'll feel when the job is over. Paint a vivid picture of the benefits that await you when you reach the set goals: the satisfaction of the work performed, a sense of pride in their will power, success and experience that will come to you after the completion of all cases. This visualization will help defeat the internal resistance and increase your motivation.
Insulate all that could distract you from the business
Very often, the source of our laziness are TV, internet and so on, because we think that it's much more interesting to do than the work that we have to do. No matter what distracts you when you have to work, study, do the cleaning, - delete it! If hard to fight the temptation, then start to resort to visualization. In this case it is useful to begin with a presentation of the visualization of the feelings of remorse that awaits you if the job is done. And only then imagine yourself the pleasure of a victory over herself!
Every time you manage to conquer my laziness and complete the task, you should reward yourself. This will help you to consolidate the positive emotions from overcoming laziness and link them with the knowledge necessary to strive. Just make sure that the reward is proportional to the applied force (a small victory - a small reward, and vice versa).
We brought a few ways to overcome laziness. Next - the choice is yours. In any case, must be fought with laziness. It came up with the same anti-stretch marks! And earlier it was believed that this defect forever remain a man. So lazy - it's not a stigma. In your power to fix it!