- How to live when you're the worst of all?
- In a world full of problems
- Where does the uncertainty?
- When parents are wrong ...
- How to change your life?
- Instruction guide us to a new life
"I can not say ... I'm pretty thin, thick, too red, too blond, clumsy, I have crooked teeth ..." People who have very low self-esteem, live in constant stress. Unfortunately, it is for women too critical attitude towards him - a very common phenomenon. Not only you can find women who would have been completely happy with themselves and their views. How difficult is it to live with low self-esteem? What impact has low self-esteem to love, relationships, even success in your work? How to learn to love yourself?
In order to understand these questions, it is necessary to know the story of 25-year-old Catherine N.
How to live when you're the worst of all?
Up to 23 years old Catherine led a fairly secluded life. She did not even have any friends, let alone a young man. "I often cried because of the fact that instead of a friend or loved one I had just my huge ass. It seemed to me that everything is just doing that mock me, "- says Catherine. When one of the guys looked at her with interest, invited her to the movies or sit in a cafe, Kate has always refused. "Not for a moment I could not believe that I can bring in somebody sincere interest. I was sure that the guy wants to make fun of me; or he made a bet with friends that I go with him. "
At 23, Catherine decided to change his life. She turned to a therapist, and he helped Kate to become a completely different woman. "It really helped me. As if completely reprogrammed my brain, and I realized that my appearance I have the right to love. Happy life is no longer a fantasy for me, "- concluded Catherine, which this year is getting married.
But Catherine, of course, is not the only woman who has faced a similar problem. Low self-esteem, appearance defects exaggerated, fear and restraint, a cross on his personal life - basically, it is a problem for women.
In a world full of problems
Perhaps some women experience no such intense self-doubt, as Catherine, but they have low self-esteem leads to many problems of life
. Primarily, it is problematic to find a suitable partner
. The woman is not able to properly assess the suitability of it or that person, because she can not even understand the requirements itself
. In such a situation there is a risk that a woman will find a partner with whom will develop an unhealthy relationship
. Considering himself somewhat flawed, it will treat partner too enthusiastically, as a perfection that descended to her
. Respecting the Lady will not be a no man and woman will have a poor experience constant humiliation from her beloved deity
. And to live in constant stress, because it is afraid that the partner can be carried away by a more attractive woman
. It usually happens, but not appearance defects are to blame, and disrespect for a woman to herself, her constant self-doubt
But not only in the relationship with your partner may harm low self-esteem. It harms and friendship, and work. People with a poor opinion of ourselves is never ever succeed. Very often they become the target of constant ridicule and silly jokes from others. Who does not respect himself, that do not respect the other ...
Where does the uncertainty?
Problems with the uncertainty in itself can solve, it is wanted. But before you figure out how to remove the low self-esteem, we must first try to understand where she 'feet grow. "
As it generally happens that a woman loses confidence in itself? Most often, women with low self-esteem becomes a source of problems it a habit to compare myself to anyone or anything. Unreasonably high expectations and demands to itself during adolescence and youth, then forced her to think that these comparisons will never be in her favor. Woman creates a multitude of ideas about how to look her chest, what should be the hair as effervescent, she must be joking, as it should always be the center of attention ... But the reality is that not all of her dreams and expectations coincide with reality, and problems begin ...
Therefore it is necessary to remember - low self-esteem, our relationships to the real state of affairs is more often than not! So do not invent non-existent problem; otherwise will, as in the famous joke about female fun - "she came up, she was offended! "
When parents are wrong ...
It also happens that low self-esteem adult human error to blame their parents. Parents often tell their children: "Look what always neat Vanya! And it has clean jacket and trousers naglazheny, and he did not gnaws fingernails. And you ... "or" Look how beautiful Natasha braided pigtails, each time in a new way! And you ... "This is wrong, because it is a kind of emotional blackmail. And no matter what was said all this with the best intentions - because in the end the little man was born in her a sense of inferiority, that he is worse than someone else. And when a person becomes an adult, it would seem that he is the worst of all.
And other parents their children with no one to compare, but they badly want their children to become an example to others, become better than others. Such parents dream that their child to attend the best in the class, or draw like Leonardo da Vinci, or sports league has reached the heights of ... and starting to drive a daughter or a son or a musical art school, but for training in the gym or judo. And do not want to listen to objections to their children, who have no interest in the chosen occupation parents, teachers, or in the absence of assurances of talents mentees. Parents want children to satisfy their ambitions; When a child fails to do so, they can not hide his disappointment. And the child is born low self-esteem - he understands that it is not justified the expectations of their parents.
How to change your life?
In order to change your life, you must change itself. The most important step is to try to understand - I have a problem! And these problems have something to do immediately!
First we need to analyze all your requirements to itself. Try to write down your thoughts on paper - it will be easier to see the problem. Ask yourself - what I want to be? And why would I want to be just like that? What would I do if I become such as I want? What if this change in my life? When you start to record your answers to these questions, you probably immediately see - like a lot of unnecessary and absurd are your requirements to itself! For example, if you realize that it is unrealistic for one month to lose twenty kilos - perhaps you will no longer be tormented by remorse and quietly make a plan of weight loss for six months?
If the problem is really serious, and you feel that you can not solve them alone - maybe we should follow the example of Catherine H., which we told you, and seek professional help?
If you still feel the strength to trust yourself to wake up to itself, try to create for themselves a kind of instruction. You can check with her every step on the way to a new yourself.
Instruction guide us to a new life
- Forgive all the mistakes. They are also needed, because making mistakes, we gain experience. Having made a mistake, take a lesson from it for themselves; and then as soon forget about it.
- Be honest with yourself. Be aware of their own interests. If you want to increase your confidence, you must understand that trust can not be bought or rented; confidence must be created. Low self-esteem can not be defeated in a single day, and that's okay!
- There is healthy mind in a healthy body! It is not just a set of words and a beautiful phrase. If you feel physically strong and agile, the psychological confidence and will continue to grow. You need to eat normally and try to get enough physical activity. Physical activity has always been the best way to improve mood and strengthen confidence.
- Allow yourself to be happy. You must do everything in order to feel good. Take care of the physical comfort, and it will appear spiritual comfort. Treat yourself to a pleasant idleness, longer sleep properly organize operation. Avoid stressful situations that adversely affect your self sebe.Shodite to the hairdresser or beauty salon. Do not hesitate to pay a little more master than it should be - it will thank you excellent work. And you do not recognize yourself when you look in the mirror. And be happy! No women who did not rise to the mood after th as they were in his hands to create beauty.
- Allow yourself that what a long time dream. Spend money to grown fond thing, which previously were not allowed to buy, or go on a tour, which had long dreamed of ... When you allow yourself to get something, what could previously only dream of, your confidence will grow.
- Avoid people who are always dissatisfied with something. Negativity spreads like a virus, and can undermine your self-confidence.
- Release all negative emotions that are inside you. Revenge, anger or jealousy - the emotions that will fascinate you in a rapid fall down. If you run away from them, it will help strengthen your credibility.
- Learn to say "no." Do not waste your time on the decision of other people's problems, do not let people use you
- Remember that you are not the only person in the world who has a problem. Even movie stars or famous athletes burdened with problems, they just know how to hide it well. Treat problems without panic, and you will learn how to overcome them with confidence. And become more self-confident, completely forgetting that such low self-esteem.
- Be a little selfish! I do not live a life of other people, even very loved ones. You have to live your life; so fill it with joy and dreams and learn to love yourself!