Almost in front of all young parents sooner or later the question of the need to give the child to kindergarten, because, alas, but a maternity leave can last a maximum of three years. And not every family has the opportunity to use the services of a nanny. And the grandmother does not always have the opportunity, and. to confess, the desire to spend days on end with their grandchildren. Here - is to help parents and comes kindergarten.
It's no secret that today fall into the kindergarten is very, very difficult. However, the problem of how to get to the kindergarten, as part of this article will not be considered. Often it happens that parents can achieve almost the impossible - to get a place in kindergarten. However, they do not have time to enjoy it as facing the greatest headache - the child does not want to go to kindergarten. And here is a very important adaptation of the child in kindergarten.
Of course, you can brush aside the reluctance of the child, ignore the wild screams in the morning and drive a child to kindergarten force consoled by the fact that sooner or later it will get used. However, child psychologists say that this tactic behavior of parents has a very negative effect on the immature child's mind. And often the consequences of such campaigns in kindergarten can poison the life of a child many, many years.
The reasons for refusal of the child from kindergarten
So, this problem must not be ignored and urgently addressed. And the first thing to do is to understand why the child is acting up, I do not want to go to kindergarten. All the children are absolutely unique individuals, with their way of thinking, outlook on life and a way of expressing emotion. And so the reasons for which the child actively protesting kindergarten can also be very different. A, respectively, and the solutions to this problem must also be different. Furthermore - every child needs their own individual approach.
Statistics show that often the parents themselves are to blame for the formation of a child's negative attitude to kindergarten. And those problems start at the beginning - during the adaptation period, after which all the children without exception. Child psychologists and physicians - internists shared by all the children into three groups, depending on whether they have runs that same adjustment period:
- The first group of adaptation. This group includes those kids who suffer the most difficult adjustment period. These kids immediately after the start of a visit to a kindergarten starting to get sick constantly, and absolutely irrespective of the season. In addition, this group of kids are not rare variety of neuro - mental disorders, often quite serious.
- The second group of adaptation. The children who fall into the second group of adaptation, as soon as the beginning of a visit to the kindergarten will start to hurt various colds and acute respiratory diseases. However, unlike the first group, these kids have no neuro - mental disorders are not observed, except for a slight discomfort in the first days.
- The third group adaptation. And the third group of adaptation experts consider those children who have an adjustment period runs completely without any complications. However, unfortunately, in such a group to adapt to kindergarten gets only a very small number of babies. And parents are very lucky, if their child will go into it - adaptation of children in kindergarten will be held in this case smoothly.
Very often, parents are asked about what factors affect the course of the adaptation period. One of the most important factors - this is the age at which the child began attending kindergarten. And, despite the fact that the nursery kindergarten starts receiving children with polutoragodovalogo age, and doctors - therapists and child psychologists is not recommended to give the child to a kindergarten before he was three years old.
Otherwise, if the child is very young, parents are sure to encounter, and frequent illnesses of their baby, and with different neuro - mental disorders. However, in the case if the child went to kindergarten at an older age, it is very easy to hope for, and even faster, adapt to hope it is not necessary, otherwise you may be very disappointed.
As a general rule, the duration of the adaptation period is approximately one month. But, of course, it can vary greatly - from a week to several months, depending on the individual characteristics of each individual child.
What can bring psychological discomfort to the child?
Incidentally, the reluctance of a child to go to kindergarten, the fear of it in the early days, and even weeks, after the start of a visit to a quite understandable and natural. Moreover - they indicate that the psychological development of the child takes place completely normal. There are several key factors delivering the baby the greatest psychological discomfort:
As we all know, the most important prerequisite for the psychological comfort and confidence is vital to the stability of the child. However, the environment in the kindergarten is radically different from the home environment. And often the child from emotional balance can output the little things, which even an adult and no attention would not pay - the color of the curtains, bedding, lighting and so on.
There is one truism - before they send their children to kindergarten, be sure to gradually switch it to the mode of the day, which will be in the garden. However, parents are almost always ignore this very sensible advice. As a result, a child who used to sleep up to 10 - 11 am, will inevitably protest against the fact that his 7 am forcibly extracted from the warm bed and practically dragged dragged into kindergarten. Yes, and favorite mommy is gone. Well then do not cry bitterly?
In order to avoid unnecessary irritant to the child's mind, it is necessary to know in advance the daily routine in the kindergarten, which will visit the child. And to begin, at least one month before the expected date of the first kindergarten to begin to teach a child to him. In this way the parents very much, and make life easier for yourself and your baby.
- Disadvantaged child's ego
Another factor against which the protest is very very many children - a team. And this is no surprise - a few years the whole world revolves around the child's feelings, desires and needs. And now the child is surrounded by a large number of children, and he is no longer the center of attention as the teacher for all his great desire was physically unable to give his full attention to each child separately.
As a rule, a particularly strong factor in this is traumatic for those children who are in the family alone or younger. After all, what must be confessed - younger kids are always a little more pampered, even if the parents are trying hard in any case not share children. In order to reduce the severity of the traumatic factor, psychologists advise as often as possible to surround the baby child - children's playgrounds, children's parties.
Quite a number of strangers who begin to surround a child who went to kindergarten. Teachers, nurses, music and fitness workers - a child is extremely difficult to get used to them. The child begins to experience serious psychological stress, which manifests itself screaming and crying.
To avoid this, you must promptly attend to the question of socialization baby. It is not necessary to keep the crumbs at home, away from society. The more the child will communicate with older people, the less painful it will be held for a period of adaptation in kindergarten. The child can communicate with distant relatives, friends, mothers and fathers, in the end - all with grandparents on a bench at the entrance.
By the way, many child psychologists advise parents to seek the opportunity in advance to acquaint the child with a kindergarten teacher. As a rule, teachers are not against this and gladly allowed to give the kid a little bit before he goes to kindergarten.
In addition, in any case can not be ignored during the adaptation period and so recommended and psychologists, educators and rooming-in group of mother and child. It largely facilitates the adaptation period. This is not surprising: on the one hand, the child resides with his mother, on the other hand - he has the opportunity to get acquainted with the staff, surroundings. And those parents who immediately bring the child for the whole day, faced with far more problems than those who were in this difficult time for the child to adapt to kindergarten next to him.
- The absence of a number of mother
For any child's mother - it is not even the center of the universe is the whole universe. A kindergarten child is forced to part with his beloved mother. This is not surprising - after all before - you were inseparably together almost all the time. Often, this stress factor is one of the most severe in the period of adaptation of the child.
You should not be angry with the crying child, who desperately grabs you by the clothes - it really truly believe that my mother could leave and not come back for him. And the fact that yesterday and the day before you come back for him, and today, too, will be returned, and any other reasonable arguments can not calm the panic of the child.
In order to facilitate the moral condition of the child, must be pre-teach a child to the fact that my mother sometimes leaves. But always comes back. From an early leave crumbs at least for a short period of time - with my dad, grandmother, girlfriend. And during the adaptation period in the kindergarten child will be much easier.
By the way, child psychologists give parents another very useful tip. Often it happens that distracts the child's caregiver conversations or toys. And when the baby's attention will switch from mother to anything else, it gives her a sign that it went unnoticed. However, to do so in any case impossible. Think about it - because the child quickly again remember you. And what feelings will test the child to discover that my mother is not around? Frustration, resentment, and in the worst case, the bitter feeling of having been betrayed. And the worst thing - a child with a very high probability you will no longer be trusted. And believe me - it will lead to the emergence of a huge number of problems, and the rest of life. It's no wonder psychologists say that absolutely all the psychological problems people take their roots precisely from childhood.
Another reason why a child does not want to go to kindergarten, are commonplace fear of the unknown. The child simply - simply afraid of what he knows. Often, parents are hearing about it from psychologists, surprised and mind - but that the child goes to kindergarten for a week - two! However, remember that a child is extremely concerned about security? A sense of stability at any person, not just the child, produced about a month after the radical changes in his life.
So really, in this case nothing can be done? Of course, you can. Parents need to advance the day before, to learn from the teacher about what is expected in the next day - what class, what the game menu. And be sure to tell your child in great detail about all the evening before bedtime. On the way into the garden again tell us about it. A few days later, when the child is convinced that he is aware of in advance exactly what he expected, he will cease to be afraid of the unknown in kindergarten.
If the problem is not immediately
Quite rare, but it happens that the problem occurs immediately. Baby for a long time - a few months, and sometimes years, willingly attended kindergarten. And suddenly, for no reason, no reason, absolutely refuses to go to kindergarten. What happened? Why is the child refuses to go to kindergarten in this case? The reasons may also be a few. We will look at the most basic of them:
A conflict with a particular teacher.
Sometimes it happens that the child willingly goes to the kindergarten-to-one tutor, and at the sight of another rolled into hysterics. In no case do not scold the child. House quietly talk to him and find out - why the crumb does not like a particular caregiver. If the child complains that the teacher yells, or mistreats children, be sure to check this information, talk to other parents. And if the words were confirmed baby, be sure to talk about it with the head of the kindergarten - for pre-school educational institution is a place where employees can give vent to their emotions, much less tearing his bad mood unanswered children.
If a child is simply silent, and did not want to talk, parents can go on a little trick. Play with your child to kindergarten! During the game very closely the words and gestures of the baby - sooner or later you will get the full information on what is happening with your child in kindergarten. Well, then you need to act on the situation. Very rarely, but it is necessary to change the group, or even kindergarten.
Very often, the reason that the child is naughty and does not want to go to kindergarten, are commonplace boredom. The child is absolutely not interested in the kindergarten, and as a result he wants to stay at home, where the opportunities for fun in the child much more. In this case, the only thing that parents can do - is to talk to the teachers working in the kindergarten. If it does not change anything, and the child will still be frankly bored, parents will have no choice, how to teach a child to entertain yourself, and give it to the kindergarten their favorite toys and games. However, remember that kindergarten children attend different - and there is no guarantee that the brand new PSP broke on the first day.
In which case, the kindergarten is still not to be?
However, unfortunately, in which case, if the child does not want to go to kindergarten, it is best not to drive there. Otherwise, the consequences can be extremely serious. These cases include:
- Too long a period of adaptation, without any - any improvement: more than three months.
- Change in the direction of excessive aggression behavior.
- Severe nervous stress, accompanied by enuresis, or severe night terrors.
If for some - any objective reasons parents do not have the slightest opportunity to give kindergarten, do not procrastinate, thinking that soon all will pass by itself. It makes more sense to seek help from a child psychologist, whose adaptation of children to the kindergarten - the familiar business.
