Sooner or later, every woman stands in front of a dilemma - what is more important, a child or a career? As soon as there is a newborn baby cot, a woman can not think about anything other than diapers, breastfeeding techniques and cutting bits. At this time, professional growth is no longer interested in her. But it must be prepared for the fact that over time it will face the need to decide whether it will return to his former profession, seeking career opportunities, or it will remain a "professional mother".
What do you think - is it possible to combine together the family, parenting and career? The answer most; but you must understand that it is basically possible with the support of a partner, family or friends. With the help of loved ones, many women are able to continue to build their careers after childbirth.
Attitude to women remains traditional
I must say that in the 21st century labor market perspective the distribution of jobs between men and women often depends on the traditions and prejudices of the past. For some reason, I assumed that the man is the "breadwinner and head of the family", and the woman in the first place, "a mother and a housewife." "The church, the kitchen, the children" - these are the main constraints that as the invisible fence is still often try to limit women. Even today, in our time, the majority of employers believe any young woman especially the potential mother. Either women are discriminated against at a time when it is preparing to become a mother.
Different women, different desires
Every woman can choose the way of life in accordance with their free, not dependent on anyone for this. Although today we are talking mainly about the choice between family, children and a career, there are many women for whom this decision poses no dilemma. For them, the solution is clear and does not require any thought - they want to have children! And strive to create a family.
At the opposite pole there are a lot of women who love their work and give so much effort to move up the career ladder, that they do not want children. Their profession is much more important for them and brings more satisfaction and the opportunity to realize than taking care of the family.
However, there are also many, and those women who are somewhere in between: they want to have a family, but at the same time realize that by giving a lot of time to study, they want to achieve in life is something more than just give birth and raise children . And yet they are well aware that, having no children, they will have to find enough time to be able to take care of his family. This, of course, can only be done to the detriment of his career. And again, women understand that the day will come when children grow up and leave the nest; and then what to do with the newfound spare time? After all, time is missed, a career is not made ...
More, we must mention the women who were glad to stay as much time at home with the kids, but for financial reasons can not afford it.
How to find an optimal solution?
From the outset, it must be said that the best solution for every woman is different, and the situation is very difficult to generalize. The decision should be based on the wishes and needs of the woman. More from the Delphic oracle was an inscription above the entrance - "Know thyself." Most likely, in ancient mythology, this statement means that no one can escape his destiny, and by studying himself, he will be able to learn your future. But in our time we can interpret this statement differently: we always have a lot of ways and means to solve our problems; listen to your desires, to distinguish the motives of these desires, assess their capabilities - and order their lives in accordance with their deep desires. The only way to understand what is important to you personally - children or a career; as soon as the woman herself will is clear, so just come and decision.
For many women, the question is not whether or not to have a family or a career; the main question for them - these two essential components of our life force is optimally combined with each other. Modern women do not want to abandon the family, but they do not want to give up, and life outside the family. Psychologists call such throwing intrapsychic conflict - when a person suffers from the contradiction between what he wants his body, mind and soul, and that it has in reality.
Trying to understand ourselves, we must not forget that our behavior and our acceptance of any decisions are strongly influenced by our ideals and views. It is very common among women was the idea that the perfect woman is able to combine both career and childcare and home. Taking decision for themselves, we must remember that in real life to make absolutely good and that, and another is unlikely to succeed.
Which path to choose?
No matter how difficult, yet every woman has the opportunity to follow their choice. Options not so much, but each of them can be perfect for someone of you:
Becoming a mother right after graduation or at the very beginning of his career. This situation has the great advantage that a woman is in an ideal age for the conception and birth of a child. It is full of strength and energy, and all of its forces aimed at creating a new way of life (family, husband and child). She did not have to take away from their loved ones precious moments of dialogue for the sake of work.
In fact, to stay home with a child, there is one big advantage - within three years we will have the opportunity to influence the education of the child. During this time, you can teach him the basic rules of behavior, we can learn to manage anger, frustration, privёm him good habits. A child will not suffer from lack of intimacy and love from my mother - what could be more important ?!
However, this option can have its drawbacks - woman return to work and start a career as a rookie, and will stand on the same level as recent graduates, being a few years older than them. In addition, some jobs require retraining, passing the courses (such as doctors or teachers), and the woman will be less time for family and home.
Takeout motherhood at a later date. Then the woman will be able to safely complete their education, through a period of practice, gain experience and make a career. Becoming a mother, a woman can safely return to work when the baby grows up. The return to work will not be for her "leap into the unknown."
This solution has some significant drawbacks: difficult for some women after they feel at work these professionals to interrupt careers and to adapt to the role of the selfless guardian melenko being. And yet, the most important thing - a woman, to postpone the birth of a child at a convenient time, every year, more and more approaching the age when it becomes increasingly difficult to conceive, pregnancy and everything goes harder. In addition, such women often gives birth to only one child; have a second or more, it just does not have time. But then she has often regret the lost time - knowing finally the joy of motherhood, many women want to have more children. After birth, the woman is often aware that the hunt for money and career by nature ephemeral, while the child - that is our sizeable continued our future.
Have children and continue to work. This way has several variants and is largely dependent on the woman and of its surroundings. Also, to a large extent it depends on the child's age and the number of children in the family. In the care of the kid working women can help to relatives, older children. In the end, leave to care for a child can go to father a baby, especially if his wife's income as a result will be higher. In such situations, a lot depends on how demanding on a woman, or vice versa, undemanding to housekeeping and child-rearing. If you are satisfied with the way others do, then you will be easier to leave the house and go to the assistants to work. Or are you just will not spend precious free time on the guidance of the ideal order, and spend it on communication with children. And then the career and the birth of a child will not be for you to be in conflict.
I must say that quality child care is not dependent on how much time each day you are close to him, and how much time you devote to it directly, how often do you respond when a child needs you. Women who play after work with your child an hour or two, but something teaches him, trying to build an open and friendly relations - a much better mother than a woman who all day holding a child in sight, but This focuses mainly on them, watching television or sitting chatting with friends.
Keep working? Why no!
If you have a good employer who appreciates you as a prospective employee, you will be able to find a solution acceptable to both sides. Each party will go to make some concessions in order to keep each other's interests.
For example, there are employers who allow the work to carry out part of the house. They will be even more pleased if the woman will continue to perform work outside of the office - the main thing is not to lose a good specialist.
If it happens that a common language with your employer to find you can not, do not despair. If you are a good specialist, you will always find a job. In addition, until the child is small, you can work on the newly acquired specialty - try, for example, to complete makeup courses and accounting courses. Now a lot of specialties that are easy to obtain, is on maternity leave, and then to work at home or over the Internet. The main thing - to choose exactly what you will be really interesting, then it will be easier to make money. If you have, besides, loving, ready to support your partner, then very soon you will be able to make sure that everything goes like clockwork - and baby will be supervised, and the money will come to the family budget.
Fortunately, most women can rely on a partner, grandparents or other relatives, who usually help in the first critical moments. This is for your partner is very helpful - close contact with the child contributes to the appearance of special treatment for your child, and teach him to be a father (because for him it is not so natural, as in the case of the mother).
Children - our happiness and joy
Every healthy woman should experience the joy of motherhood. The child is the true destiny of women. Motherhood - the best thing that can happen in a woman's life. Smile melenko princess or prince - not a reward for the indescribable pain and tension, fatigue, and any deprivation. Of course, the birth of a child reduces the financial well-being of the family, and it often becomes one of the main reasons for delaying motherhood to later years. In the case of single mothers in general we are talking literally about the fight for every penny. Sometimes this stage of life is a big test for women; but women are usually strong in spirit and honor withstand this test.