- The best age for friendship
- How to start an escape from loneliness
- Guidelines for beginners
Probably each of us is faced with a situation where loneliness crushes and overwhelms the soul, when you need advice or just want to talk to a friend, who could support in difficult times, but this is not possible, because there is no next best friend. And here's what we know that is not for nothing they say: a trouble shared with someone - it is bad. It turns out that the first step to solving any problem is to talk about it aloud with true and sincere friend who will not gloat over his back, and tell the output or just pogoryuet with you.
Our lives are so fast that sometimes we do not think about such a concept as a real friendship. And in vain, because only a true friend can help in trouble and share the joy, to assess the situation, will not play the hypocrite and always tell the truth, no matter how ugly it may be. And the truth from the mouth of a man who trust is more important than a sweet lie, just understanding that comes later.
Loneliness in a crowded room - school, office, city, country, in the midst of noise and voices raging life - unpleasant feeling acquainted with many. Suddenly completely successful mature person can grab the tail of the elusive idea of inner emptiness. And when there is a house with a table, the food on it, the third car, and even a second wife, may still miss the real human friendship - light feeling, a special form of love, less prone to passion than love itself, but on a clear and bright . Or understanding the interlocutor, a kindred spirit, an adherent of your interests and desires, no matter what sex.
The best age for friendship
The need for someone to be friends with ease otmahnёtsya, but without it you can not experience the fullness of life. You can read the multi-volume work, but did not solve the most important secret of how to make friends. Good kids in the sandbox - gave the neighbor a shovel play and instantly gained a friend. Toddlers are very straightforward, so they always have a lot of friends. But childhood ends, and comes to understand that the matter is not simply to share a toy or something else - is more complicated.
Psychologists who like to dissect the human soul, not just research. They argue that the long-standing friendship often begins in high school and not in the sandbox or on the bench in old age, although there are exceptions. Of course, throughout life we are surrounded by a huge number of people with whom we have friendly relations of the factory lasting for years or is cut off as fast as they appeared. But all of this - not that the friendship of which secretly dreams of all of us. Sincere feelings are rooted in youth, because this is the period when there is awareness of the world and there is a great desire to say to myself: "I'm not alone! ".
Moreover, in such a turbulent age is a lot of very important events that can bind comrades shared memories. In his youth, already appears the ability to think soberly, responsible for actions and an overwhelming desire to find like-minded person you can confide secrets without fear of being misinterpreted or misunderstood. However, the ability to have a strong friendly relations is always there. To paraphrase the poet - the friendship of all ages. But the wise people say that success will gain start with yourself. Only he knows how to be a good friend can expect to award a sincere and strong friendship with others.
How to start an escape from loneliness?
A man set out to make friends, it is strongly recommended to look at yourself in the mirror. Of course, it is not about to carefully consider your reflection in it. And the mirror is not to blame, because you need to look much deeper - in his own soul. You will have to sincerely answer just one simple question: "Do I want to imagine such a friend, how am myself? ". The honest answer will save much time, energy and nerves spent on the ascent to the top of the target.
Inalienable right - a meeting on clothes - is still running. Good temperament, talents, and multi-faceted personality required to open the world in all its radiance. But after. To begin it is necessary, if, of course, necessary, adjust the appearance, mannerisms and speech - the key to a positive impression from the first acquaintance with the new man.
"How to make new friends? "- Is the next question that you ask your inner" me. " Perhaps the old circle of close female friends thinned with time: Someone left, someone long ago lost his connection. But the need for sincere and good feelings left, so it's time to expand your dating in the hope of finding a soul mate.
So try to determine the order for which it is the purpose of you are trying to make new friendly relations. Looking for a girlfriend to engage in shopping together? Or would you prefer other cultural events, impressions of which I want to share with like-minded? Or maybe you are looking for soul confidante conversation? Look carefully to colleagues. Firstly, the existing service relationship is much easier to translate in a more personal sphere, and secondly, with colleagues already and so have something to discuss, but in the course of the conversation can be found and new points of contact.
In any case, you have to learn to communicate and become a gay man, if up to that time in your life too much space was given to despondency. It is time to realize that the world is not hostile and ready to accept everyone who comes into it with a positive attitude. Sociability and cheerful disposition - virtues-sisters, takes pride of the second stage in the hit parade of values that help in capturing human souls.
You agree that optimistic Pooh chance to find a best friend is much more than the depressive donkey. Mood - an infectious quality. So it is better to charge the positive energy surrounding the property, but do not look for those wishing to complain about with you in the ugly realities of modern life. You may have to revise their beliefs about the half-empty glass and say to yourself, "Hey, enough moping! Life is too short to spend it on an empty whining! "A sense of humor is more valuable banknotes and smile can melt the iceberg. Watch the expression on his face, because on this basis others judge you. Be cheerful, but without excesses, of course.
Many say that the foundation of friendship - respect. And it is not just empty words, if we are talking about real relationships, not their pale shadows. We'll have to listen carefully to the interests of those around. And learn how to self-esteem, if it is the quality you know. It is not necessary to be friends with those who stubbornly rejects the outstretched hand or, even worse, does not respect you or trampled by others. Firstly, there is nothing to be imposed, and secondly, loved ones should be selected, but not to take their ranks everybody, endlessly disappointed with the best feelings.
Friendship can start in different ways, but in practice this phenomenon often begins with the substituted time shoulder, because even guileless service can conceive the same effect as the rescue from the clutches of an angry leopard. Do not pass by the person to whom it is difficult, and perhaps very soon, you will gain in his face close to the man who will respond to you in return.
It is likely that will not be able to do without expanding the circle of their own interests. You are going to have a girlfriend? And already decided where it'll go together, go, what will surprise and delight a new friend of? Lack of initiative idle expectation that somebody will lay the responsibility for your well being, doomed. Friendship is not possible without partnerships.
Guidelines for beginners
The lack of a large number of friends for many people, often the result of fear of being in the company of strangers. We are ashamed to look ridiculous, standing alone among gay vociferous crowd with only one thought: "I want to go home! ". And why not just try to get her among strangers? So, if you want to change something in their lives in a positive way, then try to take advantage of some psychological tricks and tips that are given below. They are fairly simple and are therefore suitable for all, without exception, people wanting to have a pretty adult to make friends, to get rid of loneliness rises.
- Do not try to seem better or worse, what really are. Avoid pretense and lies. Do not be afraid to have your own opinion on this or that question, and always find the strength of his voice.
- Talk less and listen more. It is important to show sincere interest, and not polite nod in response, especially if there is a diametrically opposite opinion.
- If you're too shy, is to start small. Just say hello to a stranger coming towards you, and smile.
- You should not blame themselves for the clumsy phrase in conversation with strangers in the new company. Excitement forgotten your own name? Yes, the first and laugh about it!
- Do not expect that you immediately note that in the adult society is so rare newcomer, unless he immediately begins to manifest itself as a very original, for example, performing a striptease. So just be patient and demonstrate their willingness to dialogue smile and interest in the general conversation.
- You should not take the load of the previous negative experiences. Is not it better to just say to yourself, "I'm so wonderful, witty and even compelling that easily conquer universal sympathy! "?
- Learn how to say the right compliments. If you are interested in the book, which reads some of his colleagues, accompany its request to borrow it not ingenuous admiration: "This is such a great thing! "But more tricky eyeliner:" You (you) a great taste! ". Such veiled compliment will be enjoyed by man, and he was happy to continue the dialogue.
The main thing to remember is that making friends is much easier for those who do not embarrass yourself. Confidence - all gold, ability to induce feats. No one will believe in him who himself is not a friend. If this aspect of the personal qualities you have any problems could and should work on them. For those who often say: "I know what I want out of life, I believe in our own strength and, therefore, necessarily will achieve the desired" in the end really convince myself in this and will be interesting to others. Friendship is necessary to us as air, and you should not listen to those who claim the opposite. Believe me, they are deceiving themselves!