Ability to pay compliments - a very valuable quality. Thanks to him, you can influence people to conquer the location of the interlocutor and find friends. We're not talking about flattery when a man praised for non-existent virtues, but the compliment that reflects the real character traits or appearance of the people I met at the moment. Properly made praise may even improve relations, which still left much to be desired. This is the key to the heart of any man.

How to learn to pay compliments, do not sink to the flattery? How to present the opinion of a man of his dignity, so he can take from you praise? Let's face it. To begin to define - what are the kinds of compliments. After all, each person requires its own approach. If the word in one situation can lead to a runaway effect, in other situations they may simply not work.

Direct compliments

These include an open evaluation of appearance or clothing. In order to make such a compliment, it is necessary not only to praise the appearance of the interlocutor, and to do it as sincere. Needless to say man, it was beautiful. Few hundred percent satisfied with their appearance. It is better to emphasize a specific part of the face that appeals to you. Mark charming smile, elegant fingers good hair. Before you learn to speak compliments expressly should become familiar with the person for whom they are intended. Because so many people perceive this style of communication as a slaver.

Hidden compliments

It is estimated the work of the person in the team. For example, the team handed over a big project, and you emphasize one of the participants of the degree of importance of the work performed. Such a compliment is suitable for communication with the unfamiliar person in cases where you need professional help interlocutor: "Your team so well coped with the task! I am sure that without you, the project would have been less successful. Do not share your secrets? I am afraid that without you I can not cope "On the one hand you are doing a nice person, on the other - you can count on expert advice and support in the professional plan.

Indirect compliments

Reflect your feelings and attitude to the interlocutor. For example: "I am so pleased to talk to you! "Or" In your company, I feel at ease! "Very subtle and veiled form of praise. How to learn to pay compliments indirectly? It's simple. Listen to your heart. What emotions cause you man? About them and tell. Just make sure in advance that a person is open to talk peace, otherwise all your compliments will look out of place.

Compliments without emotional coloring

Designed to communicate with both friends and strangers. Reflect your opinion on the subject of owning companion. For example: "You have a wonderful machine. How is it to maintain? "Or" your dog - just lovely! "Some may argue that such compliments are not working. But show dog lover who would not consider their pet the best, or the motorist, indifferent to his car? Either choice, whether it is the choice of a car or a dog, a person is considered to be the best. Your task - to pay attention to it.

Now let us look at the technology. How to learn to pay compliments easily and naturally?

1. Rule one. Sender must be sincere. If you say that the other person looks good, but do not believe it, people will feel your lies. At least he thinks you flatterer, maximum - think: what you need from him?
2. Second Rule. Compliment unselfishly. Needless to say teacher of offsetting before that she had a great figure, only to get a higher score. Do not believe it. But if you tried to do every lecture her small compliments, then a teacher at the standings will be clearly favorable to you. And it's not that you bribe the person. With compliment you can simply establish a good relationship with a man. If someone treats you well, and small errors are more willing to forgive, right?
3. Rule three. Put the person above you. Example: "It is necessary, as you have all the wonderful work! I would never not been able to! "Many people are afraid of this form of compliment, considering that appear in this case impartially. However, this form of communication will easily win over the interlocutor. And the man, in contrast, will take you a smart and shrewd woman, because you spotted his potential.
4. Rule Four. Compliment everyone. It is not necessary to separate social circle on worthy and unworthy of your approving words. Praise the cleaning lady in the office, and it will carefully wash the floors under your workspace. Praise the taxi driver, and your trip will be more enjoyable and comfortable. Praise the saleswoman at the store, and she will tell you which products are the freshest. Talk compliments just like that, and people will start to smile, just the sight of you.
5. Rule Five. Do not compare people. Disastrous compliments where you try to elevate one person by another. For example: "Your suit just fine sitting in the figure. Not that our boss - and expensive clothes and sits somehow. " Sooner or later, the boss (or any other person with whom the comparison is) know about your neglect, and, believe me, nothing good it will not. Yes, and the compliments will not have a significant force. Because the man whom you praise, will take about yourself that you and also compare with others and discuss behind him.
6. Rule Six. You swear? And you praise. For information on how to learn to speak compliments in a conflict situation, it was necessary to write a book. Then would quarrels between people were not. In the first minute of a communication style it seems absurd. How come? Someone will yell at you, and you answer only to smile and talk about eye color abuser? Exactly. Starts someone quarrel in the queue? Do not enter into a squabble, and peacefully say, "You are so beautiful woman, and say nasty things. You is not going to "see how companion embarrassed by such remarks, and the conflict will be settled.

Many women are concerned about the issue, which compliments the man says. Any! The stronger sex, as though it may sound paradoxical, very fond of praise. He believed a direct and an indirect compliment. Therefore, the more you emphasize the dignity of his partner, the stronger your relationship will be, and the better he will treat you.

Now that you've learned how to make compliments, let us learn to accept them. Very often, a woman in response to the praise starts to make excuses. "Nice dress? Yes you! He is a hundred years old in the afternoon. And the skirt spot not satisfied with this content, see? "All will automatically begin to celebrate himself out of date style and barely noticeable stain on the hem. And it all started so well!

Meanwhile, the ability to accept compliments is sometimes more important than the ability to properly praise. Defensively we often results in so-called "zeroing" of relations. The man, who at first thought you were genuinely nice and quite frankly talked about it with your supply starts to notice plump thighs, unwashed hair, short legs. Therefore, making a person compliments, be prepared for the backlash. And another thing: do not be afraid to praise. It compliments - it is not a weapon to achieve some goals, and the opportunity to make this life kinder and brighter.

So often we offend relatives and people close to us only because rain soaked favorite shoes or boss rejected the report! It seems to be understandable: Well, why would you scream at or rain especially on the boss? That's the closest suffer for the sins they did not commit. And we suffer from the fact that we understand the absurdity of the situation. And we do not know how to atone for your loved one for the recent outbreak of rage. Worst of all, when there is no way out of this situation. You in the role of executioner. My favorite - the victim. But is it worth a fight to delay, especially if it occurred because of your incontinence? Or better to apologize and try to make amends?

Now, many readers surprised upturned eyebrows about a redemption mean? The fact that will tell your loved one that you are not just an afterthought to apologize to him for a misdemeanor, but did so consciously and really feel guilty. After all, in fact, many of our excuses sounded something like this: "I am, of course, right, but you are dear to me, so I ask your forgiveness."

However, before you make amends, you have to accept it. To see what was wrong, how it hurt a loved one. After that, frankly confessed his wrong. It is difficult to do this by looking in your eyes? Call him on the phone. Tell us about the feelings that made you get out of yourself. Perhaps the rain on the chief. Ready? Now think: what good you can do for a loved one? Can bake fish pie? Or wash his car? Any manifestation of your feelings would be appropriate. Do not repeat the same action every time you fight. Otherwise, the men formed persistent allergic to fish pie, and clean the machine will not be associated with joy, and angry with your views. But we hope that you will not often let off steam at close. And this means that atonement is not a habit. Otherwise, do not save any baking or savings at the car wash.

And again, do not expect forgiveness if themselves in response to the slightest fault dulis loved him for several days. Want instant absolution? Learn to forgive yourself. And most importantly: Be able to restrain himself. Whatever evil was not your boss, that's no reason to spoil relations with a loved one. Agree: it is easier to change jobs than suffer from divorce and build new relationships. How to restrain from rudeness? There is a simple and effective way. Before you say something unpleasant to a friend, count to ten. The desire to be rude is missing? Maybe he really deserves a reprimand today? By the way, especially testy recommend increasing exposure time from ten to fifteen minutes. Live peacefully!