Well, here, we again had a falling out with your loved one. Again overwhelmed anger, anger, disappointment. No, why he kept arguing ?! After all, he says, it's sheer nonsense! And anyway, we're right, we're right in everything! But he is not! And no nails! No! No ... But there was a quarrel with her beloved, not the guys in line ... and your soul is restless. With those you love, you do not want to make trouble. They only dreamed of tenderness and affection. So? So! So, we must somehow save the relationship and tolerate. How to do it correctly?
How to put up with your favorite after quarrel
The quarrel with a loved - something very unpleasant and painful. Of course, I want to make it up as fast as possible and get rid of tension in the air. But let's not rush. Zaymёmsya something, trying meanwhile to look at ourselves from the outside, getting to your favorite place and soberly assess the situation. It is necessary to take it right to their own opinion. Otherwise, if we come to him with the words: "Stop swearing, but I'm still right! "- Will begin the second phase of the quarrel. But we do not need it!
In order to restore peace in the relationship, it is not necessary to start again to prove his innocence. Because "no one any wrong or all right." Even if the problem does exist, it should be discussed with a favorable emotional state of both. And to discuss the problem and not the identity of each other. This is not to assume that we are always right, and a man - no. They say that a woman is more visible. In this case, an argument with a loved become regular. Because each person sees the solution of the issue of - his. And his point of view has a right to exist.
Start a truce better with the words: "I am very hard when we fight! Let us no longer be! ". Our task - to establish relations, and not come out the winner of the most senseless battle. If the favorite continued to sulk and not go to the contact, wait. Well, we now have cooled down, and he was still there! Give him time. Let depart. For us the main thing - to learn to listen. Let your favorite favors if he wants to. It may well be that his position is a rational grain. Or that of the two opposite points of view, the best option will solve the problem. After all, it is seen from different angles!
Generally, in order to quarrel with a loved it was not too painful for us and for him, it is necessary to learn how to sort things out. In - First, you can not interfere anywhere, and when it came. For argument is necessary to choose time and place. You should not make trouble in the presence of strangers, before leaving someone out of the two to work or study, while a pleasant stay. The quarrel must be deliberate. When she will acquire logical form, it will be possible to resolve any issue, not offending each other in vain.
If the scandal begins to grow and move on The Edge of Reason, is to pull yourself together and stop. Nothing good comes out of this "dialogue" will not leave. Instead of trying to reach a consensus it will result in mutual accusations and insults. So when we feel that we are losing the ability to think, and the throat starts to compress rabies brake. Let's go to another room or go for a walk in the park and collected his thoughts. And then, calmly, again we begin to discuss the issue. If this is necessary.
I must say that it is often necessary. Hide dissatisfaction with the actions of a loved one, for fear of destroying the peace relations remain silent and endure a lot more dangerous than it set out its claims. The vast irritation, sooner or later will break out with a force similar to the force of the eruption of the volcano. Here then we have to control their emotions will be very difficult. And who knows what the outcome of this storm of anger. It is possible that a complete disaster.
If a man loves, and we express kindly and calmly, he'll hear us. No, maybe it will even argue, but to take note of. And we listen to him and also to draw conclusions. If something does not will understand, ask to explain that the relationship was no misunderstanding. And try to understand a loved one, as if it was not difficult. After all, if there is a conflict, then he is also convinced of the correctness of their position. There is a possibility that we are wrong! People excusable mistakes.
Well, tell someone. Learn how to quarrel - it is half the battle. How to avoid quarrels with loved at all? After all, it's almost the most expensive in the world man! Why do we fight?
Picture a quarrel with her beloved
Why do we fight with loved ones
In general, the argument usually occur between people who care about each other. If a person is not interested, he can not hurt anything. What is the difference, how and what they said or done? Even if we have it hooked, the conflict is unlikely to be too rapid. Well, we scold, well, we make a remark and calm down. Because he - an outsider. Passing. Another thing - the people's favorite. It is connected with our thoughts, desires, dreams. Whether wittingly, unwittingly whether seen it all, even the most innocent, actions and words. And something, of course, cuts to the quick. After all, the favorite is very close from the heart. It is natural that some of his awkward movement causes, if not the pain, discomfort. Because it concerns us.
A quarrel with a loved one - an indication that the relationship, for their further development, it is time to solve a problem. Avoid it is not worth it. Otherwise, the problem will grow to global proportions. As it was then resolved, who knows. If you settle the looming conflict in the beginning, everything will fall into place. People are not perfect, and everyone has something to do not like the behavior of others. That's just read minds we do not know. Consequently, and to know that we have someone not happy, if he does not say we can not. Well, when something like a neighbor, a passerby, colleagues, it is still okay. All of love can not be. But when we love - it is a serious question. As if nothing is done and not try to change it and you can lose.
In principle, the showdown helps people to know each other better and improve. However, the argument is only useful when you really love. If it is uncertain, it is better not shake their nerves and go in different directions. Why empty scandals that still no lead nowhere? In life and without enough difficulties. Well, if you love to eat, but the quarrels happen too often? So, we are too violent and clashing over nothing.
In this case, it is advisable to work on them. And learn to feel the tension in communicating with loved ones, internally agree with him. Even if he is, in our opinion, wrong. Then, when the voltage goes down, we discuss this issue. In the meantime, the main task - to avoid a quarrel. Well, where do without it failed will not yell at each other in two voices simultaneously. Let's give the man to speak, and then begin to squeal about her. So, at least you can hear something and be at least partially heard.
There is a good technique, the use of which helps to manage without any conflicts. It is enough to come up with some kind of a code word, and agree with your loved pronounce it as soon want to quarreling. Let this be the word "giraffe", "boots", "umbrella", "rocket" ... Anything. The main thing - take it as a signal that it's time to let off steam. What has been said a couple of times before the conflict, the word will eventually turn into a kind of a lightning rod.
Well, in general, of course, to reduce the number of fights to a minimum, you need to determine what is the causes. Perhaps it is the desire to remake the other, or the desire to have a partner to eliminate bad habits or distrust, resentment. All this is not necessarily reflected in the heated debates. The quarrel may manifest itself as a painful silence. It is important to not that. Importantly, the two loving people can not properly discuss the points debilitating base happy relationships. It should learn. Love - a rare gift, it should be protected. It will be very sorry if it will disappear because of some misunderstanding.
In general, an argument with a loved - this is the norm if people try to understand each other and take the opposite view. Only the unity of the male and female world is able to find a solution to any problem, no matter how difficult it may be. And only such unity reveals the true path to happiness.
We recommend that read: Quarrel with her best friend
What should alert you?
Do not jump to conclusions
Gone are the days when lipstick on the collar of the shirt could become irrefutable evidence exposing unfaithful husband. Who came up with enduring and lipstick that leaves no trace, and change can not even met in real life. How can that be if you suddenly become concerned about the feeling that something has gone wrong in your relationship? Agree, not very nice to look at her beloved husband, and think: "Something nice, kinda shady. ... Learn to that of thoughts in your mind wander! "Any woman would be nervous, suspecting that her husband began to change.
The problem is that because of our excessive suspiciousness, and emotional signs of her husband's infidelity seem obvious to us, we attach too much importance in any detail, and often interpret them is not entirely correct. And then we start to get nervous, harass their suspicions and her husband showdown. Not knowing how to behave in such a situation, we bring a spouse to a white heat, and very often it happens that even innocent of betraying the man said to myself - if I was, they say, is still criticized, so I'm in the actually I go paint the town red. So at least it will not hurt, will really be because of what a fuss!
Women need to understand that the obvious signs of infidelity of her husband is only possible when a man does not value relationships and does not seek to keep the family together. In all other cases, it will be carefully cover their tracks, leaving no clues and only observant wife, noting the sudden change some habits of her husband, will be able to understand that he had a passion. To help you avoid unnecessary suspicion and needless worry, we will discuss psychological aspects of the behavior of his wife cheating men.
What should alert you?
The most obvious signs of infidelity are: a sudden change well-established habits, appeared reticence, reluctance to share details of their lives and the loss of interest in all manifestations of romanticism in relation to his wife. That is what behavioral changes you should pay attention.
The mention of a particular woman
If it is more and more starting to mention in conversation the same woman, which had never before spoken so often. This may mean that the woman was the object of his desire. He gives of his own subconscious mind - when we fall in love with someone, it is very hard not to talk about it everywhere and always.
Your husband began to dress differently. He suddenly abandoned the much-loved jeans and T-shirts and began to wear trousers and shirt design that you do for him so lovingly chosen, and he refused to wear them, saying that it is much more comfortable jeans? Yeah ... He just wants someone to impress!
Changing musical tastes
For some reason he abruptly changed his musical tastes. This may indicate that a certain music reminds him of it - your opponent. Of course, one can listen to completely different music, but if it is from the hard rock suddenly switched to soft ballads, it can not but arouse suspicion.
Work on weekends and a pay cut
You notice a sudden and dramatic change in its working hours and / or wages. Very much useful work as an alibi! The man said that he now has to work on weekends, or should stay at work late. Of course, this and really maybe not always a delay at work - it is an occasion for the experience. But you understand that such rush jobs may not be permanent.
In any case, it is necessary to see how this is reflected in his salary. By the way, the way it spends money, too, can say a lot. If he spends too much money and can not explain it, or he suddenly for no apparent reason "wage cut", then you already have reason to believe that he is spending money on someone else.
Seclusion from home
You suddenly realize that he carries out more and more time. Her husband, who had an affair on the side, is always looking for a good excuse to get out of the house. Until then, he was a lover of chronic male four-legged friend - the sofa, and suddenly he was drawn to the walk with the boys, then to help around the house to his parents - time for you to become vigilant.
If he says, for example, that he would go on weekends to visit his second cousin (which you, by the way, can not stand, it is well known to your blagovernomu), take, and call her husband a few hours after he had come there. Pretend that just want to ask how he got there. Just do not call her husband on the mobile and home phone of his relatives. And if it is not there, then we can now call on the mobile and very innocently ask where he is. And from his response will depend on what conclusion you should do.
The change in the behavior of his friends
His friends and colleagues, who used to deal with you quite at ease, suddenly begin to feel uncomfortable in your presence? This may mean that they know about your husband more than you. Of course, they will cover his (male solidarity has not been canceled yet!), But the telltale signs of infidelity men are not only in its relation to you, but also in relation to you his friends. Anyway, you can not fail to notice that they begin to treat you with compassion and concern.
Sudden mood swings
Your husband suddenly becomes very angry and at times he falls into a bad mood or even depression. So he starts looking for a reason to quarrel with you, and demonstratively leave the house, then begins to ask, Are you happy with it, satisfied if his relationship to the family. This may be a sign of a midlife crisis, and it may indeed tormented awareness worthlessness of his life. Or perhaps a sign of his guilt in front of you. Anyway, if he starts to miss and remember the years of his youth, it already should alert you.
Sudden online relationship
You notice that the more time he spends on the Internet. It is now so convenient to communicate with their mistresses right under the noses of their wives! However, many people like to hang out on the network, but if her husband for no apparent reason changed his nightly habit of watching a movie with you on the e-mails behind closed doors in another room, then it must be a good reason.
Secret talks on a mobile phone
About many things to say her husband had a habit of hiding from you my cell telefon.Konechno, do not dig the phone her husband in search of evidence of his betrayal - it is simply dishonest. But you should take note of when it began to carry the phone with you when moving around the apartment, whereas before he was just throwing a mobile phone, anywhere, or disable it, just going home. Or he constantly writes and receives messages. Or said he was calling from work and goes to talk to the other room, and talking in whispers. You understand that colleagues do not talk in a low voice to a whisper!
Changes in intimate life
And it is very true signs of infidelity of her husband - if he had lost interest in you and has ceased to engage in sex with you. Rather, he gets it somewhere else. Do not believe the excuses such as "I'm tired" - not a single healthy man can not survive a long time without sex.
And if he still wanted to have sex from two to four times a week, and now he almost never initiates lovemaking, this may indicate the presence of high treason. It happens the other way around: he suddenly begins to require a lot of sex and wants to try new positions and techniques. This may indicate that it has received new ideas somewhere on the side.
Do not jump to conclusions
If you have found in the behavior of the husband any of these signs, take the time to panic or immediately begin dismantling. Keep in mind that changes in behavior may be simple changes in behavior and nothing more. People change over time, and our husbands are no exception. Maybe so, that your husband is really worried about something, but it was not connected with his amorous adventures. And he hides his feelings because it just does not want to disturb his beloved wife by some their troubles.
And then, one or two symptoms may only alert, but can not be the basis for the charges. Worth a closer look at your spouse, try to understand what was happening to him. And only when there will be no place for doubt and you will have concrete evidence of infidelity, can begin to act.
Make sure your husband deceived you, you can feel deeply wounded, and this is understandable. Usually, women experience a strong sense of uncertainty. What will happen next? How to proceed? Get rid of the husband or forgive? Or will he throw? You need to decide how you will proceed. It would be best, of course, to talk with her husband. Only you should be guided by the specific facts rather than guesses and rumors.
Stay calm, talking to her husband. In no case did not attack him with accusations. If at the beginning of the conversation you will lose self-control, your conversation will not be constructive, because the husband is likely to take a defensive position and does not want to be frank with you. Tell her husband about what changes in his behavior makes you nervous, ask him to explain them to you. Give him a chance to calmly explain, listen carefully to what he wants to tell you.
Do not get mad, do not interrupt him. If he really is guilty before you, he might call such reasons, which you will not be very nice to know. For example, he says that he really did not have enough of the heat in your relationship, or that you no longer watch appearance and does not look attractive and feminine.
In any case, it should be remembered that any signs of infidelity men say that he is looking for on the side of what he lacks in marriage. Whatever the reason, you need to give your family a chance to save the relationship. Of course, if you still love each other.