- Causes of quarreling with his girlfriend
- "Agree, Agree, and did not fight me! "
The quarrel with his girlfriend, as any misunderstanding - it is an occasion for sadness and longing. What could be more unpleasant than discord with the person who shared with you all your problems and support you in all? Unfortunately, even the strongest friendships are not immune to these phenomena. What to do? Answers to these and other questions you will find in here.
Causes of quarreling with his girlfriend
Oh, there may be plenty! Unfortunately, the majority of female friendship - not the most durable thing (although there are exceptions). It is because of the ease with which women quarrel sometimes, even the most trifling occasions, and it is believed that the friendship between the two does not happen. But if it can spoil, and the other - to lose, so they still are!
One of the most common reasons for an argument in favor male friends. This could be a husband, boyfriend or just someone's friend. In most cases, he did not like the second friend, and she - him. The first woman in this situation is torn between two fires, and very tired of it. In the end, she decided to break off relations, bringing her so much hassle and usually donates it affection for her friend.
However, more than a third between the two women can be not only a man, but a third woman. Such quarrels friends there all the time, and in many cases it is because of the notorious female jealousy: one seems more likely that the other two are seen more calls up better relate to each other - in short, tight friends. And then she starts to saw one that she is closer and more important, resulting in a quarrel with a friend.
This happens in cases where the woman initially "friends threesome." But this happens very rarely, but more often the case - it was when two friends, and then one of them met with the third girl. They begin to communicate more and more, and the first it seems she is losing his girlfriend. It's like a kind of "friendly" treason.
In this case, the winner of two friends have to keep a very correct strategy, dividing equally between his spare time and attention. Do not let selfish girlfriends sit on his neck and capricious; but let them know that they mean a lot to you, it does not hurt.
The changes may affect not only the quantitative characteristics of friendship, but also quality. For example, the behavior of the one that you think your friend can suddenly change, often for no reason (well, you think so). Particularly unpleasant and sad it happens in cases where the changes relate to its relationship to your friendship - in particular, the relationship can begin to spend less time your relationship. This may hurt, because you think that your friendship is no longer a friend of great value.
The change may also touch on some of the behavior or specific acts, for example, a friend may suddenly start two hours to talk about their career achievements. Or former demure suddenly begins to answer every question boldly and crudely. Such changes may be associated with some personal adjustment or serious events in the life of a friend. If the loss of a loved one - for you the wrong option, then try to find out, with associated abrupt changes in the nature of a friend, and try to understand it and support it.
We forget about the most mercenary, but, unfortunately, the least frequent reason for quarrels - about money. They can become very serious cause for conflict: the relationship became less and earn more, do not give the debt, teaches you how to spend the money - all these things can destroy even the strong friendship.
That is why the financial aspects of your relationship must be directly and openly discuss, for example, pre-negotiate the terms of repayment, do not borrow money, or vice versa - a blind eye to such things and constantly treat each other in a cafe. In that case, when a friend has changed the income would be great if you are to each other to adjust and select those leisure activities that suit both of you. In the end, sitting in cafes and shopping - this is not the only basis for a relationship.
Sometimes women can really quarrel over small things: because of the clothes, the wrong set cups or poorly laid haircuts. But often because of this nonsense concealed much deeper problems, because of which can occur even quarrel with her best friend. This issue, for example, can be the envy of the girl - everyone knows a lot of examples when one of her friends constantly compare yourself with others and upset about it, because she constantly felt that Masha better appearance, parents, boys, the topic of the diploma and work .
Envy is poisoning relations and is an obstacle to true friendship. If this is about you, you should either work on it and remove this negative feeling from your relationship, or stop the communication, because the construction of a truly deep relations envy impossible.
In life anything can happen, and one of her friends could simply not take. However, the situation may be complicated significantly if one of the girls will be arrogance and selfishness. It's not very nice - to be friends with a person who is fixated only on ourselves. You can try to rectify the situation by giving girlfriend constant feedback.
For example, "it frustrates me when you say that only rogue ride on the bus," "I hurt when you choose this cafe for the meeting, which I generally do not eat", etc. ... We should do it subtly and gently, but true - then it may take on a momentum positive effect (although it happens that people fixated on themselves, others just do not hear and do not listen) ..
Finally, a significant problem may be the existence of divergent views on life and moral standards. Generally, this is the most serious and profound conflict, because to solve all the other problems is possible - compromise or arrangement. However, to make concessions in matters of ideology or morality can be very difficult and impractical. Therefore, if you find such a serious disagreement, is to assess whether they do not outweigh the value of friendship, and whether it is possible at all under these conditions.
"Agree, Agree, and did not fight me! "
So the cause of quarrel more or less clear. However, before you continue the question is: what do you do? On the one hand, you do not want to lose a loved one, and on the other, I want to make constructive changes in your relationships. What steps can help you rectify the situation?
- Talk to a friend. You may be hard to believe, but 60% of all problems in the relationship between people could be solved with a simple and honest conversation. There are a number of minor conditions that must be observed during a conversation with a friend: Be honest, express their feelings, but do not blame her friend was going on - try to speak on their behalf (for example, "You made me angry," and "I was angry when you ... "). I bet you do for a number of interesting discoveries in your relationship!
- Try to understand his girlfriend. Sometimes it is very difficult to do, especially if you are both - very different and vibrant personality. But still try to stand in her place and look into her thoughts. You can try to translate it into comprehensible actions your language. For example, your girlfriend more than anything to love electronic gadgets, and you - clothes and accessories, and you are irritated when she becomes hysterical because of the "hang" of the phone. To understand it, imagine that your favorite shoes broken heel, and then you will be much easier to imagine the state of your girlfriend.
- Work with your own irrational attitudes. Very often our mind is scored by formulas such as "you can not deny the people" or "friends always need help." Not only that, we are ourselves their slaves, occasionally irritated at everything and everyone, so also in the rest of the people are trying to impose such okovy.A actually people do not owe anything to anyone, and the words "always", "never", "can not be "and others are very strict restrictive. So friends take offense to our expectations, and we are offended that they did not perform. If you do not want to be slaves to their own systems, they must be eradicated, and soften, leaving only those that you actually share (or part thereof). For example, "I'll be glad if friends will help me."
- Do not hesitate to approach the first girlfriend and propose a truce. Failure to do so is often dictated by the above settings or priorities, such as "who is guilty, let him and goes first." And if you both blame each other? There is a chance of losing a friendship. So weigh the importance of these systems and the importance of friendship, and in accordance with the decision-makers.
- Try to eliminate it, which is why there was a quarrel with a friend. Perhaps it will be a compromise, or you will strain the brain so that you can find a mutually beneficial solution - it is not so important. If the cause is not eliminated, the quarrels will arise again and again, so making peace, be sure to discuss the "apple of discord".
If you lack the moral strength to take the first step towards reconciliation, remember why you are at all handy with this friend: common interests, common past, support and help, or something else. You may find that you have nothing in common, and then the question arises about your friendship. But if you do not want to lose it, then you need to act and, perhaps, you.