The question of whether there is a friendship between a man and a woman, excites the minds of today, no less than the question of whether there is life on Mars. That's how the people - it seeks to understand the world in all its diversity. Yes, and in relations between the sexes friendship - rather an important milestone, and a clear understanding of the topic would significantly reduce the amount of anxiety and ambiguity. Try to understand?
What is friendship?
In order to understand whether there is a friendship between a man and a woman, it is necessary to determine the order, whether it is at all in this world. And here begin serious differences, because the concept of "friendship" may include a variety of values.
In particular, many people refer to the word "friend" of his many friends. What are they? In fact, it's just the people we for some reason stands out from the mass. We know their names, occasionally we see each other, we know their problems and we even help each other sometimes. With some friends we have a great relationship, but there is no sense of mutual understanding. In dialogue with them impossible to be completely frank - still somehow have to wear some sort of mask. The thought of them we are not on the lips does not appear an easy smile, and when they finally succeed at something, instead of the joy we feel a light stab of envy. Of course, they are not strangers to us humans, but these friendships, by and large, different attitude not dare to call.
I would like to highlight the so-called "selfish" or utilitarian attitude. Do not think of them as something bad: it's just an interaction that benefits both parties. Sympathy is minimized, and the relationship itself, there are just so much going on mutual interest. This category includes communication at work, between neighbors and so on.
Sometimes we call friendship that much more correct to call solidarity. There are situations in life when we are together with someone to unite against someone or against something, and it seems that on one side, together are friends, but on the other - the enemies. It would seem that a real friendship in which loved ones unite values, beliefs, or something even more important. But in fact, in such solidarity is very small component of the personality, because friendship - it's not just something in common, but also a psychological compatibility - by the nature or something else. The main thing here - a common unifying collective basis, leveling everything that makes us unique is the basis of genuine intimacy.
Finally, the fourth type of relationship that we most often call friendship - a mutual sympathy. We like a man, it is pleasant to communicate, and we feel the harmony of being with him. Of course, this kind of relationship is closest to the true friendship, but the two can not be equated. Such relationships are often quite superficial and short-lived, so that a mutual sympathy must be accompanied by something more.
So, it is obvious that under the friendship meant something more than just communication, mutual sympathy and common beliefs. This also added to the willingness to help and support, but also implies a certain time period for which their friendship goes way of becoming. This deep feeling implies mutual loyalty, honesty and openness. That is such a complex and multifaceted concept has turned out.
Naturally, each of us will have a friendship with their own unique characteristics, which is why the question arises whether there is intersexual friendship. Men and women often resemble creatures from different planets, and it is unclear whether between them have something in common, is not tied to sex?
The arguments "against"
Naturally, opponents of the existence of the friendship between a man and a woman very much. They lead quite logical arguments for their positions, arguing it is very bright and colorful life examples. So why the friendship between the sexes does not happen?
This is the main argument of opponents of platonic relationship. "You see, - they say - the male and female are arranged in such a way that at the sight of each other in their respective hormones are produced automatically, and there comes a mutual attraction." They say it is the most desire and prevent us to treat each other with the utmost seriousness. Joking aside, but it's really a very powerful force to stand in the way of that is simply impossible. Another thing that we desire is produced is not always and not to all, and why not be friends with people who we do not like?
Intersexual friendship Opponents argue that such a relationship is always "uneven breathing" in the direction of another, and friends in the truest sense of the word, they can not be called.
"We are so different…"
Another important argument against the friendship between boys and girls - is the presence of fundamental differences are very, very many ways. Take, for example, thinking: men mainly build logical and deliberate judgment, and women are emotional and are accented on the process. Or, if we talk about interests - women like to discuss relationships, family, beauty and fashion, and men - technology, government work. All these differences can significantly hamper communication between men and women.
Both men and women are in their own friendship. For girls friendship - is a source of support and understanding, the ability to share emotions with another person, and survive with some new experience. The male part is friendly and fun "in a big way." Discussing some problems, they immediately come up with how to resolve a particular situation. Although it happens very rarely - mostly they are just great to spend time. That is why it is often pointless to complain about another man at the head of, he will advise you to leave and not understand what more do you want from him.
It turns out that if a guy likes a girl, he falls in love and relationships are tied, and if not, why bother to communicate with her? The only exceptions are cases described by the formula "it looks unattractive, but a good man." But friendship is the reason - the inability to drive, and if it were, there would be no friendship.
But again the question arises, cases of friendship between men and women exist. Indeed, why should not she be? Still, the friendship - a concept that is equally related to both sexes. What are the arguments in its defense?
"We are so different…"
The argument, then everything is the same, but the value it can have quite different. Once we are different, then we can do a lot to give to each other, she may regret guy while his male friends do not. The guy can give a girl very good advice and really help to solve her problem, unlike Ohoven and sighs that surround her girlfriends. We can tell each other a lot of interesting things, broaden the horizons of each other, as well as being essential advisors in matters of gender relations.
The belief that men and women there is no friendship is rooted in the deep past, when the only shared space, where they could cross, was love. They were instructed not to communicate and talk to each other except for the romantic circumstances. But times change, and now men and women have a lot more points of contact, as well as areas where they can just talk as friends.
The value of each other
In the end, one - is first and foremost a man and his sex can not affect the relationship. Kindness, honesty, integrity, responsiveness - all these qualities are largely equally inherent in both men and women. If a person wants to be friends with the other person, the floor in this case will not be an obstacle, and the key is the establishment of close and sincere relations.
How to make friends with a man?
Even if you do not fully believe in the existence of this phenomenon, the need for men's shoulder still remains in each of us. Sometimes it is so much you just want to chat with a man without a hint of romance! There is one question, how to realize the idea and bypass the possible "pitfalls" of such relationships?
Set the border
At once! This is very important because most of the friendly relations of men and women are destroyed because of that one misunderstands its role, opportunities, rights and responsibilities. Simply put, your friend may suddenly try to kiss you, because he thinks it is right. Or come to you polpervogo night, despite your violent protests. All these and many other things you need to discuss at the moment when it becomes clear that you are friends.
Do not provoke
Statistics show that such relationships are common two types of errors: Men are more likely to believe that the woman secretly feel attracted to him, and only need to take the first step to get it, and a woman, on the contrary, tends not to see that a man feels for her sympathy. So, in such circumstances, it is very important not to allow any flirtatious attacks towards other, otherwise you risk being misunderstood and provoke him to decisive actions that you do not need the most.
Men prefer to be friends with men is not accidental: it totally uninteresting things that addicted women. So if you want to find other among the strong half of humanity, then you should begin to understand truly masculine topics: computers, art, hunting, cars, football, orienteering or something else. Such women are actually small, and men are drawn to them. It may even come in handy when dealing with gentlemen.
Friendship is different from sex-role relationship so that both partners in this case should be in equal positions, otherwise, sooner or later one of them is tired of such communication (love and passion usually help to overcome a possible imbalance). So if you want to build a friendly relationship with a man, stop the use of stuff like "you're a strong man - help me" or "one man, one pays."
In general, the question of the existence of intersexual friendship can be considered closed, because such cases are found, and it is obvious to all of us. Another thing is that it is often not clear what it represents this friendship - independent phenomenon or transitional stage to romantic love? And if such a pair continues to be friends, it is possible that they are simply "stuck" at this stage, but their relationship may at any time be reborn? So far, there are more questions than answers, but they had already heard a few different. And, most of all, each of us will have to resolve on their own, each of them.
We recommend that read: Friendship between man and woman: myth or reality?