- Types of non-men
- Why husbands do not work?
- What to do to his wife?
You're lucky if the thought of home and family make you broke into a smile. Much more often the opposite: households with perseverance every day to recreate picture of the apocalypse and the universal chaos, the food should be prepared for the whole regiment, and thus continue to be a beautiful woman. Of course, each of us knows that to have time to do all this at really good husband. But there is a type of men, which require attention to itself, and, at the same time, sit at home and do not bring any money to the family. Therefore, sooner or later, before the woman raises the question of how to make her husband's work.
Types of non-men
Oddly enough, but there are different types of non-working men. Yes, do not be surprised! And it is from that to which of them belongs to your partner depends on the forecast for the future. Therefore, carefully read the description of our "gentlemen"!
This man used to the comfort and pleasure, without which he can not imagine his life. He thinks the world revolves around him, or rather, around his needs. Most likely, he was just a wonderful childhood, when my mother at the first request fulfills all his desires. Now, this role seems to be to fulfill his wife. "Mama's Boy" sincerely do not understand why all of it is something they want. Can not you leave the man alone?
Naturally, such an attitude to life can not affect the desire to work. If the wife is earning some money - wonderful, because you can sit on her neck! If not, do not worry - it's lying on the couch does not hurt, but a couple of hundred, and the parents can be intercepted. To move such a man can only make the situation uncomfortable, but he still try to get out of it with a minimum of losses and effort.
This man is in constant gloom. Any little thing is capable of upsetting him, to say nothing about the failures on the career front. Naham arrogant boss or the client may well be the reason for the subsequent absenteeism. And the unfortunate interview able for months to suspend employment. Do you think there is great value of such an employee? That is why such a person is easier to lie on the couch and do nothing, because then the failure is not overtake him. Do not mistake only one who does not do anything, just melancholic misinterprets this saying and really decides to plunge into apathy and idleness.
Negative attitude to everything that is connected with the people. Rather, they are very bothered him in life and especially in childhood. It is from these that's ever hurt children and grow in the future, these misanthropes. Communication with other people is their aggression and outrage: they seem to be a misanthrope silly, evil, wrong, boring - well, bad. Any interaction with them is just pointless and a waste of time.
But since most of the professions related to communication with people (even the workers at the plant communicate with each other), then find a deal like misanthropy is oh how is not easy! Even the job search process is forcing the man to communicate, and it is already able to plunge into the abyss of a misanthrope irritation and anger. The only way out of this situation - it is really to find a case that the minimum associated with interpersonal contact.
Such husbands are very slow and leisurely. By any case thoroughly and they come to mind. This is due to the peculiarities of their character and thinking: they are very long, "enter" into something new. They require a lot of time to master a new business or to switch from one activity to another. The same thing happens with your job search: first, they need to think and then to scratch the left heel, and only then open a newspaper advertisement of vacancies. Equally slowly they will select the appropriate position, and then go to the interview. Accordingly, the search process to be completed successfully, but that's how it will be delayed in time?
Oh-oh, this person is hopeless and deeply in love - in yourself! All other alien to him, and it is not important in the long run. He thinks only of himself, and of course, he is worthy of the most beautiful and wonderful job in the world. So what if he did not have enough experience and knowledge? It's not scary, because such a wonderful person to be just a decoration for any office. So he spends his days and weeks on the couch waiting for a silver platter.
Naturally, the perfect job does not fall from heaven, and even if so accidentally happens, "daffodil" manages some unprecedented way and it overlooked. The reasons for such behavior may be a few, ranging from deep inner insecurity and ending with reluctance "sully" his wonderful hands "slave" labor.
Why husbands do not work?
Naturally, our list of the types of non-performing men - not the ultimate truth. Thousands of very different men every day bring their wives into a frenzy by lying on the couch and doing nothing for entirely different reasons. So we decided to find out what causes them to be so passive in matters of career and earnings.
One of the main reasons - it is just pure laziness. The man does not want to do nothing, it is much more comfortable and more enjoyable to watch soap operas on television. Who would argue! Civilization we owe the appearance of this kind of remarkable individuals, by which women are forced to become themselves and dobytchitsami and locksmiths and builders. Just do not understand the question: why do we need men then? Particularly lazy and passive, because initially the male must hunt to move and collect resources.
Oddly enough, but sometimes stubborn refusal men look for a job - it is an expression of disapproval towards women. Of course, the method chosen is very perverse, but there's nothing to be done: something you do not like so much to your husband that it practically sabotages your family life. Fortunately, this happens very rarely, and can be quite easy to guess that the same are not satisfied with your partner.
However, not all men are the unwillingness to work is the result of some prominent negative reasons. Often, the husband can not go to work due to the collapse of their own business, or dismissal of the other work. Above we considered "long swing" type of men - very often this story happens to them. Perhaps your husband needs your care and support, as well as time to recover and overcome the fear of the possibility of failure. This usually manifests itself in constant doubt a man at his own expense, and pessimistic thoughts and predictions.
Often the lack of work her husband is due to psychological causes, namely, the desire to return to the former position, where everything was known and understood, and not matter, he left out or dismissed. Man is so constituted that the fears of uncertainty, so it is likely that during the interview the husband will unconsciously behave in such a way that it did not take.
And it also happens that the husband does not want to work because he feels weak and failed than to his wife. It so happened that your progress on the career front, made on your man a strong impression, and now he considers meaningless something of themselves to represent. His head sits thought: "We have everything, things, food and clothing enough, and if something is needed, the wife of this will work." He seemed to convey to you the baton of leadership and production resources for the family. But no one says that it suits you or that you wanted to.
What to do to his wife?
The first thing to do - is to find and understand the cause of her husband's unemployment. Without an understanding of why it is idling, you can not figure out how to make her husband's work. It is possible that the root of your troubles is his fear of failure and a new desire to leave things the old way. Then it will have to clarify and prove logically (because there is no rational man), what your partner has to bring money into the family. Tell him about the desired changes in your life that will come when it will come to work. With him analyze what prevents him to do and how to overcome it. List the strengths of your spouse with him, and then his confidence will increase.
Sometimes an effective game of "poor woman." What is the best tonic? Responsibility for the other. Show husband as you need it. Let him know that some things you can not do without his help and support. Perhaps their superiors and overtime. Ask your man to help you in any difficult task. Perhaps this return to her husband a sense of strength and courage needed to find a new job.
You can help him with some steps in the right direction. For example, buy a newspaper advertisement about work or to find a more suitable job for him on the Internet. Yes, of course, I want it to myself to do it, but sometimes it is so difficult to start something alone together and so easy! You can also help them make good competent resume and post it on the Internet - perhaps the initial response force him to shake. An effective way to find work is also alert friends about it. It just so happened that in our country many work "an acquaintance" and we must try to take advantage of this resource.
If the time comes, and the husband is not willing to work, you can behave more stringent manner. Just do not scandals and cries - just leave all the money earned by you, and my husband does not give out a dime. If he asks for fifty rubles for cigarettes, tell him how everything is expensive now. Ideally, after some time before he should reach that sit without money - it is not an option, and that it should start to be responsible for your family.
Needless to say, the first ever to be honest and open conversation about your life together. You can express their dissatisfaction with the current situation - not only in terms of "you're bad" and "I get upset when you ..." and "I would like ...". That does not sound insulting and, at the same time, well clarifies the situation and your feelings.
If all these methods do not help, and wait dragged on, most likely, your husband is simply convenient to live as he lived. In this case, it is time for you to think about whether you want everything to remain as it is. It is possible that the working and feeding the family's husband - a social stereotype, which does not work for you. Maybe you want to reallocate family roles: your partner will be engaged in the home, and you - career and finances? Let the husband cooks, washes, cleans and sits with the children, and you'll arrive tired after work, take a bath and watch TV. Some families that option very suitable.
However, it should face the truth - it happens very rarely. And if your man to unemployment decline is not some temporary reason, it is unlikely he will change and start to work hard as a dad Carlo. It is possible that he has never been a particularly hard-working, and you can always turn a blind eye, secretly hoping that he will change. So - people do not change! They choose convenient for them and a way to live their lives. What we can hope for change - six months, one year, five years? Therefore, if you are not willing to put up with the situation, put the question bluntly: either I, or idleness. Just do not manipulate it - it really should be an informed decision of an adult. If a husband chooses the sofa, then with peace of mind to start a new happy life. What to do, you can not do everything for him!
For many families, a time when her husband out of work, it becomes a crisis. Man suffers from inferiority complex, a woman - from uncertainty and suddenly encountered financial constraints. In this situation, you can not dwell on their own sufferings - it is important to remember that he is also a man. However, proceed with the sympathy and support should not be - it is likely that it will become a habitual way of life for you. So you are faced with the difficult task: to find a delicate balance between care and stimulation. But you certainly get it - it is worth recalling at least the famous saying: "The man - the head, and the woman - neck. Where will want there and turn. "