The situation is out of control, or save yourself who can
Still, in 40 years, life has just begun
For twenty or thirty men are words that in forty years, life has just begun, at best, it means nothing, and at worst - sounded as implausible as stories about fairies, snowmen and UFOs. But time inexorably brings us closer to this figure, which many are inclined, and not without reason, considered by some overseas smoothly delineates the life of the period prior to its onset and after. What is going on in the minds of men after the age of forty, the changing or not changing his psychology, and that we women do in this situation?
Psychology has defined a condition that occurs in men the age of forty, designating it as a midlife crisis. Since the onset of this (a certain way fatal!) Dates inevitably the fate of every man, regardless of his marital status, height, weight and position, it is necessary to understand what the signs clearly tell us about his approach and that he was, in fact , arrived.
Everybody get ready: the crisis is coming!
In human nature there is a tendency to analyze what is happening in their own lives, it is important and right for each individual. We generally Times summarizing certain milestones, dates of our lives: what we have achieved during the year that we have in our lives after reaching a certain number of years that we can still make or take any more, and we can, in fact? If twenty guys is not too think about some moments that have taken place in his still young life, the psychology of the men after the thirties makes its behavior very significant adjustments and changes.
Men are beginning to look back, casting a critical eye the past and trying to objectively evaluate the results: the work and social life, financial well-being and high achievement, home, family, children, friends, health. Their lives are steadfast and harsh self-analysis: what they lived for all these years, to aspire to, and that they have at the moment? Here's the strange things can happen that early uetogo men were not seen.
Search yourself, emotional throwing
He realizes that what previously was many years in the range of his interests, he suddenly lost all its relevance and appeal. Work has ceased to be so important and interesting in the family somehow become accustomed, children have grown up, the relationship with his wife roll for some previously known and laid track, which no longer seems to collapse; after many years spent side by side, you know each other almost by heart. Whatever it was his reason for disappointment and the onset of boredom, apathy, and disharmony in the soul, but the psychology of the men tells him only one way out: it is necessary to begin to act. Especially now, when the time is less and less.
Many women, choosing tactics expectations - say, raging and calm, -Adopts rash decision. Maybe it is gone mad, but not the way you expect it. Imagine that in front of you a brand new, the other person, the stranger. But you have to it, however, the attitude is very good and I wish him only the best. Now more than ever, your man is experiencing unprecedented stress in your power to help partners overcome it, gently, as soon as we women can do it.
The situation is out of control, or save yourself who can
Of course, to think only about the poor should not be, as well as to adjust itself to the negative. It should be understood that the crisis - this time of change, which should be treated calmly. But there are things to be aware of every woman, because, despite the fact that the men are trying to cope with the coming crisis in their own soul, decisions or actions that, when they take affect us anyway. What can a man, and how it should react?
He decides to radically change his career. Do not consider it a mistake or a hasty decision. Jobs, career and social status - it is just a greater extent the scope, affecting the personality of your partner the most. If he felt that he needed to change something in their career achievements, change the scope of activities or do retire, then you have to accept his decision, at least, calmly, and even better - to support it.
He announces to you about his desire to leave with you. The reasons here can be very different. From simple enough, when a man is required simply to take time out, some respite, after which everything will return to normal, and feelings of men to come and settle down in the rules. Before the sad - the marriage lasted for more than visibility or liability which had for your partner's value. And now the children have grown up, most of the obligations fulfilled, and he wants to live only for themselves. If the case is about the latter assumption, then keep it by force perhaps, but the effects will not be prosperous. Chances are, no matter how many years after your relationship lasted no, call them trustworthy or close as you should not be able to.
Love on the side. It is sad to admit this fact, but in this age, our pious often give birth to connection on the side. The psychology of this behavior is explained not only and not so much routine, which is possible after so many years of marriage. Not only novelty attracts other relations of your husband's last true family man and loving father, pushing him into the arms of other women.
He suddenly realizes that in the world there are plenty of other women that it purely theoretically could be interested in and for which he is interested. If not now, then when? After all, the chance to go away and never come back. To forgive or not forgive betrayal - it's your own business. Of course, to go to such a force not to each zhenschine.No believe the experience of many women who were able to survive this and keep the family together, to make it worth it, especially if you still have your husband did not have the reputation windy traitor.
A man starts a health problem against the backdrop of a sudden visit his depression. A great number of representatives of the men suddenly find themselves realize that they are no longer heroes and discover the world of medicine. But not with joy but with sadness, finding in it confirmation of the ensuing age. The circle is closed, and it seems that he did not get out of. Of course, it is not. Getting the necessary support, first of all, in the face of family and friends, your favorite head of the family will be able to cope with such a manifestation of the come crisis.
Despite the fact that the manifestation of the crisis, which we will tell you now, perhaps, the least impact on the environment of a particular man and his family, but for some mysterious reason, it is causing a strong reaction with a sufficiently pronounced negative connotation. Your man wanted to change something in the exterior or set about trying some new things. Psychologists explain this by saying that in the search of something new, which will once again feel the own uniqueness, freshness, youth and the opportunity to do something new in life, your partner chose the path of the least traumatic for themselves and others.
Agree, if you suddenly decided to grow or shave the hair, to enroll in a sports club or a parachute jump, but had never differed special love for such studies, it does not carry any threat to your family and your relationship. Believe me, it is important to him at this time, show loyalty and allow to realize our plans into practice. A certain part of the representatives of the strong half of humanity comes back to normal quickly, expressing themselves in a totally uncharacteristic of his manner, and after a while you will see a new man, with whom he lived for many years, and not a little lost and frightening eccentric stranger.
Sexual life completely gone in decline, or, conversely, to your partner as if possessed Casanova. Again urge all women and girls to be patient and understanding, especially in the first case, when the head climb the most terrible thought - from "He stopped loving me, and I no longer attracts him as a woman" to "He has a mistress." It's not that. The man plunged into the analysis of what is happening in his life at this point, is physically unable to be distracted by anything else. Of course, this period is also quite fleeting, and your partner will soon again to seek your love and affection.
In a situation where if you turned back on your honeymoon should be done more simply, to indulge her with joy and delight. He explains this by saying that a man wants to prove to himself that he was still young, and mentally and physically. The correct mental and moral compass does not allow it to go beyond the conventional behavior, and to prove it within their own bedroom beside him without collecting a dozen other young mistresses and protecting from the collapse of his family home.
Still, in 40 years, life has just begun!
We all know that any illness is much easier to prevent than to treat it and its consequences. Absolutely, it is possible to relate this approach to midlife crisis your men. It is clear that to try to prevent you are not the most likely possibility, but do not let the radical manifestation of the notorious crisis, and mitigate its adverse effects, most completely in your power. In the end, because it is not a stranger, but a home for you man, whom many links and unites.
You do not need to possess supernatural powers, or some special talent. It is enough to show the native female qualities - patience, understanding, and most importantly - love, which supports the whole psychology of women .. Think of this crisis as a chance to see your partner on the other hand, open it in a new, manage to a new understanding and accepting. This period is considered desirable as the time that is given to you on self-learning and self-knowledge. After all, you too will discover in themselves something new, as a response to unusual behavior in your man, despite the fact that you have spent many years with him.
Men whose families are sensitive to what is happening in their hearts and minds transformations live this notorious and ill-fated crisis much easier and, more importantly, much more quickly and with minimal impact. In their minds there is quite a sensible idea that life goes on, and something starts again, it is full of colors and sensations, and most importantly, he has an understanding and love of the woman. After all, when such support is no crisis, certainly not terrible!
We strongly recommend to read: How to survive the crisis in the family