- Take unrequited love for granted
- Do not blame yourself and do not change yourself for a loved one
- Do not look for a meeting with the object of your love
- Immerse yourself in your own interests
- Find new romantic affair
- Determine exactly what you feel
Every person at least once in their lives have experienced unrequited love that stirs the heart, mind, and, literally, does not live in peace. Very often people in this state can not adequately respond to certain situations in life, constantly experiencing anxiety and psychological frustration. To unrequited love does not become a serious punishment for many years, you must learn to deal with it using a variety of methods.
Very often there is an unhappy first love, because at a young age, most people tend to think of all the events happening in their lives, too close to his heart. Those people who are experiencing unrequited love in adulthood tend to perceive their feelings more realistically, enabling them to get out unscathed from such a difficult psychological state. That is why we will talk about how to survive the first unhappy love experiences that can cool shake the man's faith in himself and "reward" him a bunch of unnecessary complexes.
So, let's look in more detail what should be done to deal with unrequited love at a young age.
Take unrequited love for granted
Many young girls and boys can not fully realize that artificially induce feelings of the other person is not possible, and start to try with the help of different tricks to win the attention of the object of their great love. Some in their attempts to reach the point of absurdity, arranging surveillance of these and their loved ones without letting them pass at every turn. This behavior usually does not lead to the desired result, but it can negatively affect self-esteem and healthy spoil the reputation, which will restore not so simple.
In order to get rid of the feelings of love, should, first of all, to take as a given that your love is unrequited and never will be mutual. Make it at a young age is not so simple, because it seems like such a unique, strong and true feelings you experience more than ever in my life, and your lover is perfect, and it is better you'll never meet.
Such thoughts are self-deception, which is constantly "heated" reading books in which Love with a capital enjoys a commanding position in life, watching romantic movies and the like. Of course, to eliminate such influence of various external factors it is often impossible, and simply do not need. Romantic perception of reality is a normal condition for young people who are just beginning to form their luggage psychological experiences.
Yet the first and one of the most important steps, allows you to forget that you visited unrequited love is complete acceptance of this fact and the exclusion of any attempts to change the status quo. To do this, pay attention to the serious psychological work with them, their thoughts and feelings, allowing learn to perceive the situation as inevitable, which, however, does not make life better or worse.
If you are a strong person, you realize you like yourself entirely succeed. If you just can not reconcile with the fact of an unhappy love affair, you can take the help of their relatives and friends, and in severe cases, turn to a psychologist, who will help to understand and, most importantly, take unrequited love.
Do not blame yourself and do not change yourself for a loved one
Many young girls and guys start to blame themselves if they could not be interested in the opposite sex to whom they have strong feelings. They think that they are not beautiful, smart or just not worthy of love. If you experience these feelings, try to understand that you are in no way to blame. The fact that the first love is often in such a sense, the emergence of which the person can not control. So, if you are not interested in the object of your love, it does not mean that you have it in something unworthy, just the man on a subconscious level, I do not accept you as its second half.
Trying to adjust to present your beloved the perfect partner as it is not necessary, as this may provoke quite serious psychological problems in the future life. Even if you manage for a while to attract the attention of your person and engage him in a romantic relationship, it constantly you will still not be able to pretend to be, and eventually start to behave quite naturally. This time, as a rule, is the first step towards the collapse of the relationship, because your partner think that you have quite different qualities. In general, such an option is not a way out of unrequited love, but only contributes to an even greater sense of inferiority.
In order to successfully survive unrequited love, you have to learn never to blame themselves and not try to adjust to any expectations of your loved one. If you learn to do it, not only the first love, but also any other romantic experiences throughout life will be much easier to overcome you, and failures in love in no way will affect your self-esteem.
Do not look for a meeting with the object of your love
The majority of people experiencing the first wave of feelings, often tempted to see the object of his love as often as possible, even when it was clear that there was no romantic relationship between them can not be. If you visit the same desire, in any case, do not give in to them as well, you will only aggravate the feelings and can never get rid of unrequited love in his heart. It should try by all means to avoid not only a meeting with the person who broke your heart, but do not talk to him on the phone, and do not try to find out some details about his life from friends and not to go on his page on the social networks.
If you are trying to find the slightest reason for a personal meeting or at least a passing conversation with the person who does not respond to you in return, it further exacerbates their experiences and also undermines his own psyche. To first love will not be for you only "light box" in the next few months, or even years, you should try to avoid any communication with the object of your love. If this is not possible, because you are, for example, learn together and communicate in one company, you should still try to bring communion to an acceptable minimum standards of courtesy.
Of course, in such a situation will make it much harder, and the "cure" unrequited love leaves a lot more time, but eventually you will be one hundred percent sure that they no longer feel to the former lover no feelings. In addition, you will get invaluable experience of independent psychological work with their feelings and emotions, which is sure to come in handy later in life.
Immerse yourself in your own interests
A win-win ways to cope with any difficult psychological situation is full immersion in themselves and their interests. If you've dreamed of going to any classes, go dancing or to learn how to cook, it's time to do it just when you're trying to cope with feeling as unrequited love. Maximum switching focus from one sphere of life to another is always a very positive effect and allows much faster to get rid of various dependencies, to which, no doubt, is too ardent first unrequited love. In addition, paying attention to their own interests, you will soon notice that become much more multifaceted and self-sufficient person, for whom love is now means a lot more than before.
An excellent option is also a full immersion in the study, that many people are experiencing first love, often simply ignored. If you are already working, then it would be good to pay attention to their professional activities and try to get the bosses to increase or any increase to the salary. Believe me, if you will take my head thinking about school or work, then love experiences you just will not be any effort or time.
For girls a very good method of distraction from the painful thoughts of unrequited love - it is attention to their appearance. You can enroll in a gym, swimming, or improve the figure at home that will help to improve mood, because during sport the body produces hormones responsible for our alertness and state of mind. You can also change the hairstyle, try different types of make-up and experiment with style, creating different images for all occasions. Just do not use the new look to try again to generate interest in the object of your love. We need to learn to just enjoy the fact that you look good, and use it to set the mood every day.
Find new romantic affair
If you have already realized that the first love is not necessarily the last, you can again try his luck in a romantic relationship. To do this is to pay attention to new acquaintances, and not to neglect the modern virtual methods of communication. With some interesting person you can introduce friends, so it is often chosen to friendly gatherings, and just spend time with interesting people for you.
If you are afraid that you will suffer an unhappy love again, do not try to immediately dive into the pool of new feelings. First, you can even restrict flirtation, self-esteem and well-lifting is an excellent source of positive emotions. Over time, you can start dating, and then when you find out as much as possible about the person that you are interested in, start to build him a serious romantic relationship.
Do not worry if at first the development of new love relationships prior feelings will still sometimes remind myself feeling of sadness and nostalgia for the old days. Such experiences are common to all who are trying to build a new relationship after a first love. The best option for such reaction is a sense of their experience as if they were quite ordinary senses, to visit you every day and do not carry any special emotional load.
Under no circumstances should one try to remember in great detail all the vicissitudes of your past failed novel, as "ghost" unrequited love is constantly hover over the new relationship. As the relationship develops such ideas will visit you less and less, and one day you are surprised to realize that not reminiscing about his former love for quite a long time and, most importantly, do not feel on this issue is absolutely no sense.
It is likely that, started dating a new man, you over for a while will not notice how in love with him, and the thought of unrequited love will seem quite silly and pointless. This happens with young girls and boys quite often, as first love, as a rule, is completely unconscious and rather weak sense that simply by virtue of its novelty is perceived as a kind of super-value. Over time, most people are beginning to realize that the real sense of "look" completely different, and remember my first unrequited love with a touch of irony.
Determine exactly what you feel
Quite often, many young people confuse love with the more mundane sense, the dependence or selfish need for full possession of another person. Such feelings are very strong, and therefore are often seen as the first love. If you notice that you can not not live without the object of their feelings and feel the constant desire to see him next to him, and his own experiences in the moment, you do not really and interest, you should know that testing your feelings are not at all love .
This deep love primarily focused on attention to the feelings and emotions of a loved one, and then later on their own experiences. In addition, such love is by definition a mutual, since only equal in emotional heat from both sides of the relationship can grow and develop quite a long time. If it is more important for you to satisfy their need to possess this or that person, you should know that your feelings are normal dependence, which occurs at a young age so many people.
If you can not cope with their feelings, even knowing that there is no love, they are not, try to imagine your future together with this person. Only need to provide all possible detail and colorful, paying special attention to everyday details of living together. If you are lazy and do not present all the most realistic, the most likely find that you do not want to share with a loved one supposedly their personal space and adjust to any of his habits. This is another proof that your unrequited love is only exaggerated emotions of sympathy for a particular person.
All data above tips are general guidelines to deal with unrequited love to visit you for the first time. Most young girls and guys can not cope with an unhappy love is using similar methods, but you also can successfully use any other methods that help you to forget about once a loved one. Most importantly, these methods are only carried a positive charge, and does not complicate your life.
No matter what, never forget that first love, in fact, is a unique gift that each person is given only experience once in a lifetime. And even if this love was unrequited for you, do not be discouraged and try to keep in his soul only positive feelings and all negative feelings nullify using constant work on oneself. Over time, a unique feeling of first love, you will be only joyful emotions with a slight touch of nostalgia, a new romantic relationship you will build an entirely new, more adult and conscious level.