Typically, women, especially those who were not yet married, badly imagine how much different from us men. We sincerely believe that some nuances of their behavior can be corrected. And in trying to eradicate love what a disadvantage by applying to it a lot of effort. Often completely meaningless. Because that, in our opinion, it is a disadvantage, and does not disadvantage at all, and the trivial weakness of men.
Representatives of the stronger sex differently than women perceive the world and relate to it differently. So nature intended. We are trying to impose their own world view and way of thinking. And when it turns out that this is impossible, angry, annoyed, scandals. And in vain. Because men's weakness can be quite wrap their advantage. To do this, just to know what they are and how to treat them. So what, from the perspective of women, there are flaws in the behavior of the majority of men?
Common flaws behavior of men
If you listen to the complaints of many married women in their pious, it turns out that they complain almost the same. This suggests that male solidarity in their actions. Why is that? Are men and women - two militant camps? And opponents of his actions do not try to ruin our lives? Nothing of the sort. Just often we take an ordinary man's weakness for the challenge of the fight and the scandals when this is not necessary. The result - a threat to family well-being. But it can be easily avoided if you know what really lies behind this or that man's fault.
Here, for example, many of the stronger sex can sit for hours in front of TV and remote control to click any moment by switching channels. Or lie on the couch, staring at the ceiling. Irritating to us it? Of course! No favorite episode did not really see or get the garbage to make better half. All "right now" and "right now." In the end, we Flashes hot, accusing her husband's laziness, uselessness and God knows what. And for good reason. Because the husband, looking at the TV screen or in some point on the ceiling, reflecting on the solution of serious problems. And we are here with the trash ... Let him think, perhaps, any brilliant idea comes to mind.
We often offended by their loved ones, when they are telling about something sore, but they are silent in response. And what, after all this time the woman wants to share with the man that bothers her, he also seems to be indifferent to it! In fact, it is not so. The male brain is designed so that at first he processes the information, classify it, and then make conclusions. As long as a man will not understand completely in what he says the woman, he said, keeping the stone face, can not utter a word. Therefore, it is quite possible to interpret the silence as another man's weakness.
Most of the men engaged in some business, do not notice anything else. We can simultaneously erase-cook-clean up, keep an eye on the child and really do not understand why the husband did not do the same. Yes, he is not capable of that, because it thinks differently! Men need to focus on one task, then it will be solved. If it will be sprayed, trying to do something else, not really expect. No case will be brought to the end. So let alone doing something one and execute everything as efficiently as possible.
The bulk of men are sleeping peacefully when the next baby comes in a scream. We, of course, outraged, accusing them of indifference, duemsya, believing that the child his wife is not very necessary. Again, nothing. Because of his deep sleep is also explained by the weakness of men. The brain does not react to our Blessed child's cry! This woman possessing maternal instinct, can jump on the bed, the child is only groan. The man - no. He does not waste energy on the small stuff, and saves it in case the mother daze threaten serious danger. That's when the father will protect the child, without sparing himself.
Many men are not able to find his socks and shirt, but the beauty of the street they notice right away. And we are nervous, thinking that her beloved husband disparagingly refers to his own half. In fact, for such thoughts no reason. Socks can not find it because of the poorly developed peripheral vision and inability to pay a lot of attention to detail. And the beauty of seeing the unconscious, which is active breeding program. Nature, what can you do! Blessed may not think of intimacy with other women, but look beautiful girl holds necessarily.
In general, these are the most common behaviors of men who may well be attributed to the category of weaknesses and explain natural features. Yes, sometimes they create discomfort, but it's the little things compared to family well-being! With reasonable approach, all arising from these weaknesses, the roughness in a relationship, you can easily flatten. In the end, the main thing in our lives - not the trash and scattered socks.
And now look at what men can ignore the weakness in general, identifying them to the properties of the male nature.
The basic properties of man's nature
Passion for a weapon. Weapons for men, whether it is cold or fire, - the object of increased interest. Should anyone of them to pick up even a slingshot, and he immediately begins to shoot out of it anywhere. And if you get something more serious, so do not come here! With bated breath, this overgrown child will be looking at a dangerous toy, gently stroking her;
The passion for watching action movies with violent fights. Such a spectacle promote the release of adrenaline, and our men are in need of it! In addition, they like to present themselves in the image of the main characters and defeat enemies. What to do, men need war;
The desire to win, even in small things. The spirit of competition - perhaps the most significant male quality. A man must somewhere be a leader, period. Well, if he can satisfy his desire in professional activities in the fight against competitors. If not, the man will compete with your friends, acquaintances, and his wife. He needs to win somewhere, somehow - stress, nervous breakdowns, illness;
Passion for work tools. For her, the man does not necessarily have the golden hands. To love and to love them tools to work - different things. Many representatives of the stronger sex like to buy sets of screwdrivers, wrenches, beautiful hatchets, hammers, planes. And laid them on the shelves. And then to touch, wipe, move from place to place;
Attachment to old clothes. The stronger sex reluctantly throws darned shirts and mashed up holes pants. But not from carelessness or avarice, but rather from the subconscious superstition. Once, they say, in the shirt or jeans once were lucky, so they bring good luck. How these things can be thrown away? Perhaps they are in something right. After all, the very memory of past success has adjusts consciousness of success in the future;
The tendency to strong language. Even ardent intellectual, getting hammered on the fingers, may issue such a tirade that curled ears. What rapidly respond to such things and curse at the same time - the property of male nature. Women cry, men cussed.
Each of us has some kind of installation on the stronger sex and relations
. Due to these settings, the real men, we turn to the fruit of his imagination
. And they are different
. No, there are men, of course, complete scoundrels, alcoholic, sadistic, selfish terry
. But the conversation is not about them
. We are talking about normal, non-specific abnormalities, man, next to which can be warm and cozy
. Maybe if the drama of female power in the face of men's weaknesses will not destroy relationships
. You should not attach great importance to some inconsistencies household
. After all, the main weakness of the true man - his gentle, mysterious, unfathomable woman
. And everything else compared to this - sheer nonsense! So, when our beloved tinkering with the instrument, a television remote control clicks, nervous, losing at cards, and buys a beautiful knife at the last money we forgive him
. After all, we are so different, and it's great!
We recommend that read: male psychology
What is needed for family happiness
Life values spouses
Stages of the existence of family
The fact that the family - is the cell of society, is known to all from childhood. There is even a whole science, which bears the name of the psychology of family relations. Of course, the details reveal it in one article is impossible, but we'll try to at least lift the veil of this mystery. After all, anyone want to be in his family was dominated by love and understanding. This requires a true hard work. And first of all - working on oneself, one can not demand from loved ones what you do not do myself.
Family and in fact plays a vital role in the life of any person, and society as a whole. Sociologists, psychologists and family are three main components of any successful family - stability, dynamics and performance of certain functions. And we start a conversation with the most important - with the functions to be performed by the family:
For most of us the concept of education is associated only with children. However, it does not - because the educational process applies to adults. They satisfy their need for expression of paternal and maternal feelings, self-realization in their children. And for society, this function of the family is no less important - in fact the parents socialize their children, thus preparing them for life in the team.
Any person has a certain number of domestic needs - food, clothing, shelter. And the family together to meet their needs. This feature is especially important for children who still can not take care of themselves.
Anyone in need of a wide range of emotions - respect, recognition, love, affection, psychological support and protection. If these feelings in a person's life are absent, his mental health could be seriously threatened. A family usually allows to get all the emotions. Of course, we are talking about a complete happy family. One can hardly talk about some understanding, support and mutual respect in the family, where one of the members of abusing alcohol, or simply shows aggression.
The spiritual function
In addition, the family meets these psychological needs of family members, as joint activities, leisure, knowledge and new stuff. It is also very important. Do not believe? And you look at the family, together going somewhere - else. Satisfied smiling mom and dad, muzzles enthusiastic children - is not happiness?
Control - this is a very important function performed by any family. And it does not matter what the nature of control. This could be control over the education of the child or on the health of a family member.
Sexual function includes a lot of concepts. This sexual education of children, and the satisfaction of the sexual needs of men and women. Probably about how important it is for the proper development of the child's sexual education, and we are not talking - all of this and so they understand. And who can do it better than their parents? And sex between husband and wife can avoid quite a lot of problems and troubles.
Of course, we talked about the features that are possible in principle. However, every family variations are possible in either direction. Some features may weaken or even lost, and some, on the contrary, come to the fore. For example, in recent years become increasingly important emotional, educational and sexual function. Moreover - and within the same family balance functions can greatly fluctuate, moving in one direction and then the other. Fortunately, in today's world consumer function is not as prevalent as it used to - mammoths produce needs no more. And the woman in today's society it is able to provide a decent life, not only themselves but also their children. Therefore, marriage is often based on the emotional and spiritual functions.
What do you need for happiness?
It would seem that everything is quite simple and clear. So why there are so many unhappy families? What hinders their well being? Family psychologists call the following terms of happiness:
It is important to be able to hear not only themselves, but also other family members - to understand them, to treat with due regard to their interests, tastes, desires. Only under such psychological harmony, you can create a full-fledged family.
Of course, the modern pace of life often leaves to communicate very little time. But still try to spend time communicating with your partner and children. After all, you can talk to and during the execution of household chores and dinner. By the way, very often families in a crisis situation, get advice from family psychologist make it a rule to dinner all together at least several times a week.
Another one of the foundation stones of a happy family - it's confidence. In fact, without trust is not practically nothing - neither sympathy nor mutual respect, let alone love. An example of this is the huge number of families in which the trust disappears and relationships are rolling down the slope.
Full intimate life
What would not say bigots, but, anyway, without the normal sex life to imagine a family is simply impossible. Of course, we are not talking about situations in which problems in intimate life one way or another linked to the health of one of the spouses. In all other cases it is to overcome shyness and seek medical advice - sexologist. Unless, of course, you and your family the way you want to save it.
And it is the House with a capital letter. No - no, this is not a posh house or apartment in the city center. This may be a modest one-bedroom apartment was removable somewhere on the outskirts. But family members need to feel cozy and comfortable. They need to know that crossing the threshold of the apartment, they get into their own cozy little world, where they will understand and support, no matter what happens. In short, "my house - my fortress."
In order to keep the family happy and strong, ideally, it is desirable that the values of life as much as possible match the spouses. Today psychologists distinguish such basic values as:
Mutual understanding among all family members.
Separate own housing.
Confidence in the future.
Interesting and favorite work.
Another very interesting fact - numerous case studies have shown that men are more practical than women. They have come to the fore such values as a separate apartment, material well-being and interesting work. And only after that should be mutual understanding between the spouses and children. The women - a more selfless and emotional. For them, the main thing - it is an understanding with her husband and children, and only then flat and material well-being.
Ladies, do not be offended it on their men! After all, they are the breadwinners for centuries and breadwinners. That is why they have become more practical. But to make it all balance, we have - homemaker.
While men and women are being "candy buketnogo" period, life in most cases, very bright. However, after years of living together often begin some difficulties. About 40% of couples say that the attitude of the satellite life becomes more demanding and rigorous. It takes very little time, and the first wave of love passes. The couple look at each other more closely and critically.
In all cases, even the most ideal, there comes a certain degree of frustration. Moreover, according to the psychology of family relations, the stronger was the degree of love, the greater will be the degree of frustration. But do not despair - this is quite normal and natural process that did not pass any one couple. The main thing - to understand what is happening and to show wisdom and restraint. As a rule, the majority of families very successfully bypassed the first crisis of family life.
Stages of the existence of family
Family psychologists distinguish several stages of the formation of an average family. Of course, this information is quite average, since there are so many individual characteristics, such as age of the spouses, the presence of the negative experience of relationships, children from a previous marriage.
The first stage of formation
It begins, of course, from a wedding and ends with stunning happy news about the imminent birth of a baby. A young couple, with no children yet, is in the very early days of family relationships. They learn to see themselves as something whole and united, form the awareness of the concept of "we." The couple used to each other, to a kind of restriction of their personal freedom, domestic joint study coexistence in the same area. This step is very important - it will be based on all of the subsequent existence of the family. And that depends on it, how comfortable it will be.
The second stage of family formation
The second stage is also a very short - it lasts exactly as much and pregnancy. For a successful course of this stage, the future parents should as much as possible to spend together, to talk about the future, share plans. This will help as soon as possible to get used to their new roles - mom and dad. As a rule, happy families, who are husband and wife frank with each other, and the cases of postpartum depression in the new-born mothers are more rare.
The third stage of family formation
Parenting. The main stage of the existence of the family - is from the appearance of the child and to his full development as a person. Of course, the main task of the family in this period is the education of children, preparing them for life in society.
The fourth stage of family formation
It includes those spouses whose children had fluttered into independent life. It begins at the moment when the parent leaves the shelter the last of the children matured. As a further flow of family life - depends on the spouses themselves. They may become despondent - especially women. In psychology, there is such a thing as "empty nest syndrome". Unfortunately, this period of the family account for a significant surge in divorces.
This is due to the fact that the couple begin to find fault with each other, try to discover the slightest flaws, which over the years did not pay any attention. And inflate all the little things to the incredible size of the disaster. But some couples, on the contrary, are beginning to pay more attention to each other. Their relationship appears again lost in everyday life romance. This period ends with the death of a spouse. The life of a family as a social unit, stops.
All of the above is true for traditional, familiar to us all family models. But time passes, people and customs vary. Today there are many forms of relationships between men and women, calling themselves family. Of course, on the fact of these relationships is very difficult to call his family, but be aware of their existence still stands. At least for common development. So:
Traditional marriage is called precisely the form of the family to which people have become accustomed over the years. In this form of the family to the forefront the needs of children and their educational process and the right. For a couple, this is the most conservative form of marriage - the maximum number of possible bans.
Supporters of civil - officially unregistered - marriage argue that it is different from the traditional family only the absence of a stamp in the passport. Opponents, on the other hand, argued that civil marriage is different from the usual or noncommittal relationships only stay on a common housing. However, strictly speaking, it all depends on each individual and the seriousness of his intentions. In recent decades, this form of marriage is gaining popularity.
By the way, not so long ago and the authorities decided to make a change in the law. Persons living in a civil marriage more than a year in the presence of witnesses that they were common household are entitled to all the same rights and duties as an officially registered their marriage the couple.
Periodically interrupted marriage
In this case, most of the time the couple spend together, but consider it permissible to periodically disperse and live independently and separately from each other. And not always the reason for this is a quarrel. Sometimes people just want a break from each other. For these families a way of life is absolutely normal.
Meet the family
As a rule, these are people who are officially registered their marriage, but living in different circumstances separately. It can be work or study in another city, and maybe just a mutual desire. Most often, occasionally visits her husband's wife, prepares his meals, doing housework. Raising children is mainly engaged in precisely the mother. However, sometimes, and vice versa.
The Muslim family is no different from the traditional. Almost nothing, except that a man is allowed to have several wives. Well, needless to say, the rights of women are violated to the maximum. However, in recent years, even Muslim countries gradually began to abandon polygamy to monogamy.
For the mentality of our people is such a thing as a Swedish family, yet easily understandable. However, in some countries, this form of family is spread very widely. It would be wrong to think that these people living a Swedish family, sex couples only. Typically, such a family - it's your own little world is small and friendly, full of friendship, mutual understanding and trust. However, for the education of children, needless to say, this form of family is not the best.
Free - or as it is often called, opened the family - this is a family where the spouses do not have any prohibitions against sexual relations outside the family. Sometimes the solution is transparent, sometimes - not. But the fact remains.
Of course, the psychology of family relations - a much broader concept. But we told you only about the basics. And this was done not by chance - it is silly to begin studying advanced mathematics, not knowing simple arithmetic, is not it? We wish you all this knowledge went only for the benefit of your family - hope, strong and happy.