Why do women want to get married? But who knows ... Well, that seems to be free of the fair sex to live easier than married. Nobody demands of delicious lunch and dinner, do not grumble at trifles. Nobody needs to iron a shirt in the morning and prepare clean socks. Nobody will have to wait to work for up to three hours of the night, nervous and goading phone buttons. In short, no life, and solid raspberry! But we somehow want to get married! We're just dreaming, tongue hanging out, rushing home after work, to feed her tasty bumpkin. And then, when it will otlёzhivat sofa until midnight to hang around in the bathroom, wiping his shirt. Right masochism of some kind, right? Right. In theory, better to be free. And almost all of us are committed to this "masochism" and the fear of loneliness. Let's see why.
Reasons for the fact that women tend to marry
So why do women want to get married? This is probably a natural need, in some ways similar to the need to eat, drink, sleep. It is human nature to desire self-love and want to love yourself. The weaker sex is especially in need. Every normal woman cherishes the hope to meet a wonderful man who will wear it at the hands of a lifetime. But this does not necessarily get married! After all, for years, you can recline on someone's hands, not thinking about the stamp in the passport. But no, we have a legal marriage Give! What for?!
The fact is that in a legal marriage:
- Love seems to be more stable and reliable;
- A woman feels more secure;
- Women are more confident in the future;
- A woman is able to at least partially remove the burden of the material and everyday problems.
Generally, the material well-being - a pretty strong arguments for wanting to marry. Many ladies tend to have a number of strong shoulder to lean on at any moment. There are those who just dream to sit on the neck of his wife. But while almost all of them would like to see, and a strong shoulder and neck belonged to the beloved. True, some of the girls agree to go to the registrar and to those who at least do not cause disgust.
There is another important reason for wanting formal marriage. The married woman feels complete and more popular in society. It is no secret that our society is still lonely representative of the fairer sex is considered, in some way, a failure. Like, something wrong with her, if no man dared to invite "the poor thing" to the registrar. Public opinion - a great thing! It can exert a powerful pressure on our decision and even change the fate. Thanks to him, many girls marry a man she did not love just because it's so accepted. After all, to be the one from the standpoint of society "indecent".
And finally, someone is trying to find a husband because tired of living with my parents, and someone really wants to put on a gorgeous wedding dress. In short, the reasons for that dream to get married, women are more than enough. Some want to love and be loved, for someone to care for, to know that someone's home waiting to feel protected and not to be afraid of condemnation of society. At the same time, there are girls who dream to get married on the calculation to manipulate the spouse and enjoy his fortune.
Well, that, my dear woman, we understand a little with why we want to get married. And now let's talk about what this sometimes turns out. After exit, as you know, not to attack ...
If previously the most successful period for marriage was considered the age of twenty-one to twenty-four years, but now a few mores changed. Now a special approval cause marriages, prisoners, when the girl turned twenty-seven - thirty years. Why is that? Because in society in recent years formed an opinion - before you get married, a woman must get an education, to have the work experience and the prevailing character.
It used nesmyshlёnye girls jumped married for "Prince Charming", and then suffered their chauvinist antics decades. And now - the pipes! Now women intend to make a career first, and then start a family. Say, that's enough, have suffered from their husbands - autocrats and tyrants. We are now themselves who want to have "torn years' arrange! Let considered their wives ...
And everything seems to be logical. Once women become more self-reliant, so men need more of them to appreciate, cherish and often concede. Consequently, marriage should be stronger. But - alas, alas ... Almost half of our contemporaries in the unhappy marriage. Because pious all just kicked, glancing left and often does collect little things. And to preserve the family is still trying, mostly of the fair sex.
They are, as before, they hide from prying his family problems until the last moment. Like, I am ashamed! More people think that the role of wife - not for me! Often, this attitude only exacerbates the situation. Because there is always tense, suffering from neglect her husband a woman is like a downtrodden horse and unlikely in this period can be for the faithful love object. As a result, "horse" running around in circles, losing strength, respect for the spouse and self-confidence.
The question is - who needs it? Why all the forces trying to keep the family together, which no longer exist? Because divorce - is a powerful stress, which many fear. Stress not only because it breaks the habitual way of life and not just because a woman may suffer financially. And also because after the divorce she will get the status of a single woman. It seems to be nothing wrong with that if the woman is provided, has a good job, and the ex-husband does not cause her any warm feelings. Divorced and become free and happy! Yeah. Not a bit of it. In such freedom there are plenty of traps, which are almost always creates the surrounding society.
A divorced woman and society
In general, even if the gap with her husband was not too painful for women in the future of her psyche still be exposed to the whole mass attacks. Why is that? Well, let's imagine a situation. Divorce behind faithful went to the free flight, an unmarried woman is now considered. Even if she has children, parents and lots of girlfriends, it is from now on it will be called lonely. Heavy words ... alone - then abandoned, even if the cast itself. Lonely - means a failure, even if it is with all my heart wanted to divorce. Lonely - so unhappy. And if looks pretty and cheerful, then it pretends. It appears secretive and clever ... Because "divorcee" is not supposed to be neither happy nor lucky, or openly buoyant.
The majority of married ladies sure that divorced women with terrible force envy them. And that "divorcee" are a threat to their family well-being. So they fenced off a reflex of lonely ladies, stopped inviting her to the home celebrations and the parties on the same parties. And start looking in her behavior to justify her exclusion. Here, for example, late for work, two women - one has a husband and children, and the other is divorced and has no children, too. First sympathize with colleagues, ask what happened, interested in children's health. The second encounter venomous derision, claiming it until the morning somewhere hanging. But she, too, have children! Perhaps they are sick. Or maybe both just overslept! Of course, a divorced woman is insulting to hear the taunts. Willy-nilly, she flew into a rage ...
Divorcee generally need to be very patient, so that at every step to explain why she was alone. Well, she likes to be alone, so who is going to believe? Latecomers - then spent the night with her lover. I do not wait too long to order - means thinking about some guys, snapped - then brutalized without a man .... And so on and so forth. What nerves sustain a constant press of tactless questions and the same tactless tips from employees, neighbors, family, friends? If a divorced woman learns to behave in a way that others were afraid to ask such questions, it will have to seriously. Oh, society will try to develop a single complex of guilt, self-doubt and a sense of worthlessness.
In a word, the woman after divorce have almost every day to deal with inquiries, edification, TIPS, with someone to meet and greasy hints. Because many "benefactors" will be increased interest in it, as if to some not very ordinary person. Such an inadequate perception of the public, of course, frustrating and frightening. After all, women need peace, not someone compassionate advice and gossip behind his back. Well, do not run it as soon as the divorce on reception to the psychiatrist, in actual fact?
However, not everything in our time as badly as we have just described. Already a lot of people related to divorced women pretty quiet, considering that nothing tragic about it. But, unfortunately enough, and those who believe the opposite. So what to do? Should we be afraid of loneliness?
Should we be afraid of loneliness?
Why is a woman after a divorce can not be left alone? In the first place because some married ladies, and does not occur, that any of them may also be diluted. Frankly, this confidence in the inviolability of his family often goes to the detriment of women. Well, who among us does not know where any of the fairer sex all life is suffering husband - an alcoholic and reveler - and boasts that it is de "married woman"! And pity (or disdain) tells his unmarried friends:
- Oh, how do I feel sorry for you, girl! What you are restless, but still without a husband, without her husband!
While regret in this case it should be. You can hardly feel "prikayannoy" when the faithful every evening makes us look for the fifth corner.
In principle, alone did not have disgusting, if a woman feels comfortable. It is free in his actions, so why tolerate up to the next age of the one who did not appreciate you? Of course, if the expression "single woman" very much afraid and it seems excessively offensive, you can jump to marry anyone. And then howl at night in the pillow of despair and anguish.
Loneliness - this is not a tragedy. It's just one of the stages in a woman's life. The status of a divorcee woman has plenty of advantages. He makes it a wiser, more experienced, making it clear that our destiny depends on us, not on the opinion of society. And if a woman is aware she will have the opportunity to build their lives with their own hands. And to be happy, regardless of whether or not a husband.
Many unmarried women have children, friends, relatives. Loneliness - their conscious choice. This successful ladies are quite happy with their lives. Unless someone else has the right to claim that they are unhappy? Yes, everyone wants to be close to a loved one. But a man loved and loving! Instead of a scoundrel, who need neither children nor wife.
And anyway, why divorced women are called "poor loner" and the men immediately fall into the category of "promising bachelor"? Why this injustice and what is the right of society is taken to judge who is happy and who is not? No standard of happiness in life does not exist. It would be very straightforward, if it existed! She found a husband, and everything is ready, happy for life. But no. Happiness individually. The presence of his legal spouse, unfortunately, is not guaranteed.
Why does a woman want to get married? Well, of course, to be happy! Or prosperous finally ... But not to just have a close member of the opposite sex. And what you want, if only in his pants. Pants - no guarantee of a happy life. Even if they are very expensive. No, maybe someone happy and this! There husband and everything is fine. And who - even without the bad. And the society has nothing to do with it. We must be able to decide on their own that it is necessary to you, not the faceless society. After all, by and large, what's the difference, we are married or not! The main thing - to be happy. Or always have such a right.