Passed love wilted tomatoes - that's your romantic history came to an end. Certainly there was a lot of good and light moments, but the bad still outweighed, as a result of what you have decided to leave. But you still can not get over it, so the most important thing for you now the question remains: how to forget ex-boyfriend?
Why is it so painful?
Before you start a new life, you need to say goodbye to what was in the old. Namely, a relationship that not so long ago broke down. But to do so is not easy, so millions of people around the world are trying to understand why it is so painful to part with the former love.
First of all, any rupture of relations - a loss. You lose important to you part of his life, and it is impossible not to notice. Any loss is accompanied by feelings such as pain, grief, anguish, sadness and disappointment. In the face of a person you are in for a long time to satisfy a lot of needs: love, care, attention, support, communication, joint pastime, material assistance, etc. ... And suddenly you lose it all! Immediately it becomes clear, how to fill the resulting hole, but still gnawing sadness about how it was before, but it will never be.
Are their specific complications, depending on who gets dropped. If the desire to part comes from you, it seems as if all the responsibility also lies on you. This gives rise to feelings of guilt, which strengthens an already unpleasant experience losses. In this case, you should not overload yourself, because you have taken this decision not a good life, but because of some problems. And now, they bear responsibility for both of you.
In this situation, some men resort to absolutely love the line unmanly behavior, exposing himself innocent victim of the treacherous woman. Then your emotions may "weighted" by accusing attitudes of mutual friends and acquaintances. Most reasonable in this situation simply does not pay attention to it. In the end, just not right to go into other people's relationships, and if someone does it, that is his problem.
In a situation where the guy dumped you, everything is absolutely clear. You did not expect it, and such a scenario reminds you of a thunderbolt. Of course, such a surprise intensifies the pain and suffering from the loss, plus the added experience of injustice. If possible, ask your ex-boyfriend explanation of why he'll quit - if they are adequate, it will remove unnecessary guilt and help you avoid making similar mistakes in the future, and if not, then you should be happy that so easily get rid of this frame.
7 Ways to forget ex-boyfriend
Out of sight, out of mind
Suggest or expose him to take on the rest of the landing you things. Remove from Skype, ICQ, and social networking contacts it (or at least make sure that it does not account CORN your eyes). This will help you understand the reality of the situation and accelerate the process of parting with the former.
It is not necessary to build itself from the "Iron Lady", which all uneasy. This is not the case, and hidden emotions will certainly find a way to ruin your life in the future. Allow yourself a week to ensure that mourn about ex-boyfriend, and did not hesitate to express feelings. After that, the sadness will subside gradually.
Leave to work with head
Of course, at first you will not be very easy to do, but this is the best option, which help you to use the benefit of the situation. You should not fall into a state of helpless victim, vegetables lying on the couch. You have a lot of powers and abilities, and now is an excellent time to sell them to the fullest, because you nothing will distract.
Bachelorette party with her friends
Arrange the "seeing" ex-boyfriend, who did not live up to your expectations. Suggest girlfriends honestly tell you what they think about the ex-boyfriend - most likely, you will hear a lot of hard-hitting opinions. Moderate alcohol consumption will make this evening a very fun and will help you get rid of sadness over the former.
Join a gym
The best way to raise self-esteem after a break - "round up" fat and muscle pump. Firstly, sport contributes to the production of endorphins, which are hormones of joy. Secondly, you will look better, which has a positive effect on self-esteem. Third, the gym - a great place to meet interesting guys that you will soon be able to test in practice.
Seriously, I am parting with a guy - an excellent opportunity to update the situation in the apartment. Buy new wallpaper, throw old stuff, change the cover on the couch. It does not always require large financial investments. It would be very nice if you make the most of all with his own hands, that will distract you from unpleasant thoughts. The reward for you is a beautiful environment, where you will enjoy for a long time.
If the gap with the former is given to you particularly hard, it's time to go somewhere at least for a few days or a week is better. This may be the Turkish shore of the sea or the old monastery in a nearby town. The main thing - to get you a change of scenery and let yourself go "into the gap."
You should not take revenge on ex-boyfriend for your break. Even if it was unpleasant. In the end, time, as well as emotions, will be held, and the residue of unpleasant actions will remain. The most important reproach for him to be your happy and blooming after breaking up, so just live and enjoy life for what it is.
Loneliness: A variety of treatments
10 most common causes of loneliness
Do not be alone - just!
Despite the bad weather, the calendar has long spring. Every girl, thinking about this period, dreams of one thing - a great and beautiful love. But for some reason it does not come. And millions of girls grieve, not knowing how to get rid of loneliness. If you are among them, it is possible for you, our paper will be key, opens the door to a new happy life.
Loneliness: A variety of treatments
The phenomenon is discussed loneliness people ever times when they became interested in the question of the human soul and personality. For some, it is embodied in the absence of a life partner, someone thinks lonely people who have few friends, and other people understand loneliness under special state of mind that does not depend on the intensity of contact with others.
What do think about it, psychologists? Followers of the great Sigmund Freud offered us to distinguish between concepts such as privacy and solitude. In the first case we are talking about the normal "state of mind", arising from the lack of someone in our surroundings. Loneliness is a constant insurmountable condition associated with the presence of the nature of egocentrism, narcissism and hostility. The roots of this, as a rule, are deep in my childhood, when a child is very great need for closeness with their parents, which for one reason or another are not satisfied.
Psychologists who believe each person unique and unrepeatable, believe lonely people who find themselves in a world without their usual psychological defenses. For example, a man all his life angry at the other, and because of this he did not remain friends. He knew it, and abandoned his usual demeanor, at the same time being in a very vulnerable position. He feels that he is unworthy of love and good relationships with others. It is the fear that now will be painful, making the experience of loneliness so acute.
It is believed that there is no universal definition of loneliness. Everyone lives differently this state, and no one can do it for another. At the same time, for most people the feeling of loneliness has some common features, such as totality, integrity and inclusiveness. It is characterized by full immersion in itself. Precisely because of this you gain any new knowledge about his own soul. Otherwise it is impossible to get them if you are constantly in contact with anyone.
In today's world, people often feel lonely. Large areas of megacities, it would seem, should keep it - but no! On the contrary, in a crowd, a person feels lonely more and more often. Sociologists attribute this to the weakening of various groups, such as family or housemates. If before we knew almost all of those who are close to us, is not to hear "hello" from passing close friend - not such a rarity. We used to stay in their own homes, in the sink, not seeing and not knowing anyone around and not feeling the need to communicate with them.
10 most common causes of loneliness
The feeling of loneliness is directly linked to our emotional state. In the end, that prevents a person to enjoy the best of its freedom and independence to enjoy their own happiness? But it does not at all. Often we are faced with their own nervousness, sadness and annoyance to the whole world. This is especially true for women who do not have the man she loved. Before you figure out how to get rid of feelings of loneliness, you must understand the reasons for his cause.
Very often you can not tell the reason for which you feel lonely. In this case, most likely, it is within you. If a woman feels insecure, she just can not adequately present themselves when meeting with a man. The feeling of inferiority may interfere with it open. Of course, because it will be very ridiculous and absurd, if you smile, or, God forbid, make a joke! It is clear that each person has the objective shortcomings - for example, you no longer take care of yourself, and your figure is "broke" - and imagined. So, it's time to stop worrying about the past! Forgetting about them, you get the opportunity to meet a worthy companion and new friends.
Pomeshannost on any one topic
There are things that are worth discussing exclusively with women: clothing, footwear, beauty, baby diapers and unfaithful husbands. Sure, you can talk with a friend or your boyfriend a new system of a healthy diet that you liked - it is possible that it was in his face you will find a kindred spirit. But daily conversations on the same topic are able to "destroy" the brain to any sensible man. They are much more interesting to do or try something rather than spend hours discussing the finer nuances of fashion trends this year. And even more so it is not necessary to tell them how much your new dress!
The narrow circle of friends
You will not go and did not want to do in order to communicate with people around you. The choice, of course, is yours, but if you withdraw only herself and her apartment, nothing good will come of it. Virtually no one is interested "wiggle" a man who himself does not want anything. Judge for yourself, would call for the tenth time in a cafe girlfriend who refused had nine meetings? Surely not. How do we get to communicate, if you do not aspire to it? Maybe it's the natural laziness or timidity, but overcame them, you can learn how to get rid of loneliness.
If you think of all the people on Earth by evil, it is not surprising that they do not want to talk to you! No one is interested in a man who sees everything in black light and believes that man is a wolf. The same applies to relationships with men: if you think they are all ranked as cattle, then so be it.
Contact point of view, too, does not bode well. People often get scared when they see excessive insistence on communion. They think that it is hidden in a trick, and of the "initiator" they see is not in a favorable light. Especially the men: for them the discussion on the third date details of the wedding and the names of the future potential of children like death.
Communicate with Zaznayka not interested in a soul. The man likes to feel their own importance, and if he does not, then he becomes sad. What do you think will be your partner to seek a man who brings a fellowship with some disappointment and frustration in yourself? That's right, no. It's great that you are so beautiful and smart, but that's other people also want to feel your status.V relationship between a man and a woman it usually manifests itself in excessive expectations on the part of the partner: a white limousine, expensive restaurants, recreation on the islands and hundreds of bouquets Rose - are capable of only a few, but their human qualities remain a mystery. Therefore, for your own sake it is useful to find a balance between self-esteem and attitude to the people around you.
Almost no one likes sharp and venomous jokes about his own person. Indeed, everyone can find fun and ridicule the lack of it, but why do it consistently? People are beginning to be embarrassed by this, nervous, leave the state of mental balance and do anything to escape from you. Especially such a course of conduct does not like men - they want to be winners in the women's eyes, and here you have them "drown" in the stupid comments!
Every woman is hidden within the most powerful force known as maternal instinct. But in some cases, especially when you do not have your children, you begin to distribute their care and attention to all the people around you. It looks at least strange. For example, men want to see your face in a passionate lover, a good company and a good friend, a good mother, and they have enough at home. Do not stand on this slippery slope!
Lack of time
You spend a huge amount of effort into, to make a career? It is commendable, but you probably noticed how your colleagues leave from work at six to meet with friends or family, and you are after ten o'clock at night crawling home, where you except a cat, no one is waiting. Talking to people - an important part of everyone's life, and if you find it difficult to be spontaneous in this issue, use their business skills - separate plan gatherings with her friends or searching for the gentleman himself.
Fear of pain
That pain makes us avoid what caused it in the past. This is quite a normal process, aimed at preserving life, but that's between people it can create a lot of inconvenience. But, first, getting rid of the communication, you can not know the genuine joy that it is able to give. Secondly, it is not necessarily what will hurt you again. Yes, it is possible, but nothing ventured, nothing gained!
Do not be alone - just!
More precisely, it is not so - absolutely everyone can understand for themselves how to get rid of loneliness. In any case it is necessary to change something in your life, as the original version of it has led you to frustration.
Fear of being alone is capable of quite significantly increases the severity and depth of immediate experiences. Think of how much is spent on resources! Own fenced off from the public as soon as it seems many times worse and scarier than it actually is. Yes and no pleasure from the privacy you will not be able to receive.
Accordingly, it is first necessary to understand how to get rid of the fear of loneliness. To do this, think about what it all means to you, and develop until the end of the logical chain. For example, loneliness - this is when there is nobody in his old age to bring a glass of water, that is, do something to help. Or loneliness means that you - the inferiority of women, since nobody wants to marry you. All of these ideas will help you understand what you are afraid of solitude and perhaps some of them will seem absurd.
Next, you need to deal with old grudges that hinder you to communicate with people. Sounds, of course, a bit strange, but surely they are in your life. Even if you tried to forget them, they can hide deep in the soul, and from there to harm your life. To appreciate this, consider what your main problem in dealing with people. Identify it and think about whether there was a long time ago the situation in which the problem had to be a place for the first time and which would have severely injured? If you can remember something like that, chances of psychological transference, which determines your perception of others. Simply put, instead of being a real person in a real relationship, you start to think and see in communion with him something bad, then the contact is cut off. Or you begin to behave as if trying to resist the offender from the past.
What to do? Good question. First of all, you must allow yourself to worry about traumatic situation. Our feelings are often slowed down with all sorts of social attitudes such as "there is nothing to suffer because of any nonsense" or "poobizhalas, and that's enough - it's time to forget and move on." Because of this you do not live until the end of the situation, not to let her go.
Next, try to imagine the person with whom you are related traumatic experiences, sitting in front of you on an empty chair. Look carefully at his face, look at the gestures and posture. What do you want to say to him? If the head stupor, try to remember a time when you have suffered because of him, and tell him a little about his feelings. Rather, the language you unleash. Express empty chair all the thoughts that you have scrolled over the years in the head in an internal dialogue. You can even scream, break a plate or pad to attack. Well, if you have the opportunity to express their emotions in the human reality, use it - and be amazed how much your life will change after some time.
A week after the previous exercise equipment start using positive thinking. As we know, the universe responds to our messages in relation to it. Accordingly, you need to tune in to the fact that everything will be fine. Every day repeat itself several times the following things:
Around me a lot of interesting people;
I am full of kindness towards people;
I find it easy to get acquainted with nice people;
When I talk with another person, I feel the warmth and joy;
I feel confident;
I am full of strength and energy to communicate;
I'm ready to love and be loved;
However, in order not to be unfounded, use strategic planning: where, when and how you will communicate with people. When it comes to friends and acquaintances, take the time to organize theme parties. When it comes to dealing with men, then think through in detail the places where the easiest way to "pick up" you are interested in the subject. Keep your look in perfect condition: go to the gym, do hair and nails, wear nice clothes. Make a list of qualities and manners that are popular with men, and try to get used to the image. Just do not forget that it must be authentic to you, meaning you should be comfortable in it. It can be your opposite, but only if it causes you concern, rather than disgust and the desire to escape.
Remember that happiness in relationships with other people is almost entirely dependent on your inner state. You need to take responsibility for what happens to you. It is useless to lament the fact that you have with anyone does not work, and a neighbor Masha tired to fend off fans. Rather, it is sincerely and effectively in their manifestations, but not fenced off from the whole world of loneliness wall. One has only to want to - and you will go beyond it and be happy surrounded by the closest and most pleasant person.