Love - a wonderful feeling, few would dispute this assertion. We all strive to find love - this is the natural state of things. But life is very variable in nature, and sometimes it happens that, instead of bliss of mutual love we experience the love of flour nerazdelennoy.V these bitter moments in the head of every girl there is a question about what to do, how to forget the guy you love, if love not mutual or reciprocal, but has no right to exist (for example, if you fell in love with a man not free).
If you do not consider yourself to the category of people who are happy just suffering, then you understand that cherish love, hurts you, it is unwise. Consequently, all the advice that we consider here, for sure help you to get rid of the pain and regain peace of mind and harmony. According to psychologists, from such feelings as unrequited love, you need to get rid of as soon as possible: not every human soul is purified through suffering. Very often it happens that the soul is destroyed, and it is in our plans with you does not fit, right? To you it does not, it's time to start acting, perhaps, after a first effort on myself, through I can not; but the road by the only one who dared to take the first step.
Getting started: first steps most difficult
It does not matter whether you are a couple yesterday, and this morning you announced the termination of the relationship, or free the girl, who found that dries the charming representative of the strong half of humanity has a very decent amount of time. It's all the details. All you now have to do - is to understand yourself, to understand on what exactly you are suffering. Love Lee became the reason? Treatment can be started only from the moment when the diagnosis is tochno.Togda recovery will come more quickly and will be complete.
We give some examples of that suffering is not always a result of love, but you try to try these situations to themselves. It may be that some of these approaches, and you?
You are so single-minded girl, which set a goal, the bones will lie to get their way. Indifference Man put you into a blind alley - you're not accustomed to defeat; And everything else - the forbidden fruit is the sweetest.
The real relationship with a man - it's so hard! Love invented the image is much easier: no deficiencies have loved and ... Yes, actually, and loved in fact are not.
Or maybe you do banal excuse for laziness? Gone with the head in love of suffering, rather than to seek work, writing diploma or something else that requires you to effortlessly and solutions?
Are you sure that cry from the loss of a loved one, and not because of the loss of the status of a successful girl? Your now former male was a very eligible bachelor (appearance actor, the availability of apartments, jobs, careers, and the list goes on) for any girl. You loved him and that gave it to you congregation?
For some reason you believe that love is impossible without the dramas of separation and stradaniy.Mozhno plenty to give examples to the contrary, but you are not so easy to give up the torments of love for you is sweeter caught herself.
If one of the examples you see similarities with their situation, how to forget the guy you love, the speech will likely not go. Laziness, wounded pride, vanity, pride - all this tends to recover naturally and quickly. A little more difficult given changing attitudes and improving self-esteem, but then a lot depends on your own desires and resources.
Love, I can cure you!
Everything is much more serious if it is still a very real love. Injuries sustained by the break in relations, the soul does the same pain, which can be applied to the physical body, striking man. Continuing to see the analogy between physical and mental suffering, let us remember chtoproiskhodit us when we got bodily injury? First comes the shock. We can even in the first moments not feel the pain. Then she covers us. We start to cry. We inform about the trouble all of whom want to get help and relief from pain. Doctor prescribes a treatment to us. We try to follow all the recommendations, take drugs, we want to recover as soon as possible. Time passes, and the wound heals. Health back in order.
Let's proceed on the same algorithm, and will render most of our precious heart - stricken, injured - first aid.
Once the pain has declared itself, it means that the initial shock has passed. You have accepted the inevitability of the break in relations, and the futility of the efforts to renew them. What to do next? Cry. And since you did not cry, probably since childhood - selflessly, excitedly, to complete exhaustion of all your stocks salty liquid. We women are not forbidden to do so - we are emotional beings, and such discharge though devastate us, but for a while it will give relief and respite.
Choose number of persons who will dedicate to you the changes have taken place in his personal life, on the principle of "do no harm yourself! "Close, no doubt, try to express the sympathy and support, but colleagues at work may disapprove treat such revelations. Therefore, limit the number of people with whom you will talk about his trouble. In psychology, there is a method by which its pain can talk as long as you yourself do not want to stop talking about the same now for the umpteenth time.
This method is very suitable even for those ladies who are used to avoid the invasion of strangers into their lives: to tell about his personal drama of the first passers (under the condition that he agrees to listen to), you will not run the risk that it will be made public. Even if such contact seems still too personal - call on the hotline. At some point you will feel that your forces have no thumb at the same tenth of a circle and listen to tips on how to remember a loved one, and words of sympathy from your jaded listeners. It is time to take action, do not you?
Treatment or self - can be individually and collectively can
The first stage is over. You can still occasionally cry and torment yourself and others the next portion of a very bitter memories of shattered happiness. Logically, the next action should be access to a doctor. Healers shower - psychologists - faster and best help understand how to forget the guy you love unrequited and mutually. Tips based on a scientific approach, certainly deserve respect. But specialist services are rather big money, and peace of mind to return for a couple of visits is not possible.
No one person will not help you if you do not want to get well, remember this. Ask yourself: "How can I help myself? I really want to rediscover the joy in life. I can handle myself or not? "Advice about what you seek medical attention to the question of how to forget a guy who likes so far, or to overcome his own pain can not be mixed. We are all individual. Perhaps the best results you will achieve by using all or some given in this article recommendations, aligning it with the advice of a psychologist.
You should definitely try the following:
Until now, you could not bring himself to part with items that remind you of your past life
Look at them again makes your heart contract, but something prevented send them all in the trash. You put them in a corner, and that was the maximum, which at that point you were able to.
It is time to act decisively and with conviction: I can do it; Grasp dismantle tangible reminders of the past. Photographs, personal objects of former favorite, which he for some reason, did not bother to pick up, as well as all once so dear to the heart trinkets and trifles with no options and pity to submit emissions. These items had a value when you were one. Now it's too much a reminder of a failed relationship and befallen disappointment in love.
It's time to think about how you lived before your meeting with a former love
What you had before Hobbies, mugs for interesam.A to some of them do not reach the hands, it's time you would spend on a loved one? Double the effort to catch up. Choose a time when you can sit quietly and think, "What do I want?
Because now I can afford all that I came into our heads! "Do not restrain the flight of his thoughts and fantasies: you want to learn a foreign language or a parachute jump? You no more holding back. Once you are addicted to knitting and did not get out of the gym? It's time to buy some yarn and magazines with beautiful models and buy a subscription to a fitness club, immediately after purchasing this set of sportswear for his visit.
Any change of impressions (of course, in a positive way) will distract you from sad thoughts
If the situation allows - on vacation. Select the country you've always wanted to visit, pack your bags and buy tickets. Leave suddenly do not allow workers doing? Arrange shopping: cosmetics, items, furnishings, new appliances or electronics - which requires your soul?
When planning a grand shopping, sign up for all sorts of treatments for appearance. After visiting beautician, hairdresser, master of manicure and pedicure you feel like the queen of the world, it will not only confirm the mirror.
Your love is in the past. That you can not change, in contrast to the present, and, consequently, the future
Think about what you can change now to the future then you pleased? For example, the work has been to you earlier is clearly not in the first place. Everything has changed, and from the words "I can easily make a career" just go into action: in your will to change things for the better
You decide how to build their own future great career: in the same organization and the same department, where you still worked, or should try to change the department to change employer or even start their own business.
They say that to suffer the pangs of love is not necessary for those who are always ready to share it generously
You have always loved animals, but to have a small pet did not work? It's time to do it right now, give your love and care for the little living creature. Your love for him - this is the most important thing in his life. And you, like no other, now just be able to say that we are truly responsible for those who love it.
All these tips work, gradually you'll see this. Channel their energies in constructive and peaceful course, often say to yourself: "I can not afford the luxury of a waste of time on the depression and longing for the past. But I'll be happy. "
What is not recommended
In addition to these recommendations, which will help you quickly forget the unhappy love, wanted to give a few others. They relate to those actions that do not:
The first time should be avoided meetings with ex-boyfriend
To the extent that the sick or take a vacation, if you work together. Even if the separation took place quite civilized on both sides, you are the injured party. See every day of his calm face, at the same time as your own heart like a pile of debris - is necessary to fence themselves from such an opportunity.
Think about why you threw
You have not given up, and razlyubili.Eto first. And the second - it happens! .. Take it as a fact, without reference to self. It happens that people leave. It happens to the beauties and simpleton, with educated and not very good, with excellent hostess and those who only know how to cook boiled eggs. The presence or absence of a loved one is not dependent on a particular set your qualities. To improve myself as a person must be to yourself and your own preferences. But it serves as a guarantor of happy love relationship that can not.
To claim that no one will never be able to love
So you always doom themselves to a life without love, so that the loss suffered. Even if you do not consider the option that the new man will help you (even without being aware of it) quickly forget its predecessor, giving the tenderness and love of your heart. Remember that a new love can and should occur in your life.
Throw the cap over the mill
Alcohol gives a temporary oblivion. About drugs in general would be superfluous to mention - and this is a clear threat of harm to your health. Start collecting men's hearts, too, is not recommended. Instead, the sweetness of victory at some point you may suddenly feel the emptiness and loneliness of your own. After all, the amount can never replace quality. For the break a woman's heart is no consolation in the top ten, the other broken men's hearts: to hurt someone else, is unlikely to be able to comfort their own suffering. Forget the past love nor alcohol nor many fans will not help.
Go to the other extreme and begin to idealize the past relationship and man
Believe me, there are no perfect people, and reckon canonized your ex man is not even on this banal reason. Do not try to compare the new fans and a new relationship that has sunk into oblivion. We are all different. Surely your past love was something pleasing you and something frustrating. Give a chance to a new feeling into your life, and yourself - to hear from a new lover's cherished words: "I love you."
On the way to complete healing
Think positively, first through the power, and then without any effort on its part, and the pain of parting with the old love will soon weaken and then come to naught. The memories remain, but it will not hurt you. Bear in mind also that the time also heals wounds, which means that each new day brings us closer to a complete healing. Ultimately, the choice is yours: you prefer to suffer or to live a full and happy life; and in fact, and in another case, you will have a sea of opportunities to do so. The world keeps on call for each of us the means to achieve our goals. You just have to learn to see them and know how to use them.
We hope (and wish you that with all my heart) that you prefer the suffering and torment of unrequited love dazzling happiness which gives us mutual love. Does not exclude the possibility that, once again knowing happiness is to love and be loved, at some point you even mentally thanked his unhappy love for what she's gone from your life. Life is generous to those who really want to be happy and loved, and who refuses to spend themselves in fruitless suffering and distress. Believe ye therefore in themselves, tell yourself: "I can be happy! "
We recommend to check out: How quickly forget the Man