I think it was just recently: you were so in love and happy together, making plans for the future, dreamed of a lavish wedding and a happy family life. That's funny wedding behind us, and with it a few years of happy marriage. It seemed that it always will be. However, nothing lasts forever in this world. Behind the scenes the love is gone as if it never happened at all. Now, when it seems all is lost, you are often thinking: how to return the love in a relationship, and most importantly, how to get the love of a husband?
Before you make plans, how to get a sense of a loved one, you first think carefully about whether to do it? And if you really need it? Maybe, after all, it is to start a new life, if the relationship is exhausted? Virtually every woman who decided to fight for her man, doubts: Can I return the love? Or maybe it is not necessary to suffer the most vain and torment his friend, after the old feeling will not return?
You have a strong case: "We are children, so at least for them, I should try to bring back the love of a spouse." Psychologists believe that children, no matter how small they may be, are well aware what the relationship between their parents. Believe me, children are much more comfortable to be in a quiet environment with a parent than a family where there are constant scandals and where mom and dad are no longer love each other. All this is not the best way affects the child was not firmly psyche.
Overcome difficulties together
You already live separately for a while and now just do not know how to get love from a distance? If the result of much thought, you have come to the decision of how to return the love of a man, then you have to analyze and respond to itself, why it happened, you lost this love and respect. It may be two options: either a midlife crisis, or he had a mistress, for which he left you.
The most common first option, there is a crisis in family relations. In this case, a lot easier to return the love of a man than when he created a new love on the side. Typically, the crisis in the family comes when children grow up and fly out of the parental nest. Or spouse retires, and he had nothing to do. He was bored, and what to do, he does not know. Do not let things take their course, help him find himself and begin to live a new life.
Take a vacation and go somewhere to relax, where you can forget how old you really feel young again and in love. Overcome all difficulties together. Imagine that you again are young, beautiful, and life for you has just begun! Moving, repair, illness of a loved one or other difficulties, too, help you rally. The main thing - to be together. And then your spouse will definitely notice and appreciate your efforts.
If he's got a mistress, then much more difficult. It only exists in a fairy tale happy ending - "they lived happily ever after and died in one day." Practice shows that in life it does not happen. Your beloved is gone. Time and bitter tears of disappointment behind us, it is time to act. Think over how to return her husband, without losing his dignity.
Several urgent advice: how to return the beloved
Please think carefully whether you really want to return to it at any cost. What motivates you - the desire in that at all costs to return the one who dared to reject you and take revenge on him, or just your blind love? Of course, every woman knows that to take revenge - it is small and nasty, but there is no getting around this, alas, is inherent in the female nature. Therefore, it is not necessary for the desire to get even with a former lover to spend the precious time.
Even if a man is willing to take a step toward reconciliation, I do not expect that he immediately return to you. So do not be pushy and do not call him every half hour hoping to hear when he finally comes back. By doing so, you can only call it hostility, but not the desire to be together again. Accept the fact that men need to be alone to think about all the good and the right decision to stay with you or not. You should not put pressure on him and persuaded to commit the act in your best interests.
As you know, the stronger sex attracts what is inaccessible to them. Therefore, be independent, and in any case do not push their emotional man acts. It is unlikely that you will be able to make him respect, running behind him, begging his forgiveness. As you know, all men are by nature hunters, so be worthy prey. Be patient and try not to show how much waiting for his return. Take a better Treat yourself to your favorite massage, beauty salon, a new hairdo, trendy new clothes.
Get out with friends in the country, go to the theater or cinema. Prepare to meet your favorite prettier and rejuvenated. Disheveled and in tears woman can only cause pity, not love and respect. Seeing that you're not much of a yearning in his absence, he first experienced some disappointment that gradually grow into curiosity. Only from you and your tactic depends on whether you can fan the flames of the resurgent sparks.
A few useful tips
How to behave, if the husband did return to you?
Try not to get hung up, do not need to keep coming back to negative thoughts. Think of a pleasant, try to appreciate every moment spent together.
It is not necessary to avoid intimate relationships. New family life will be full, because my husband finally chose Yet you!
Strive to do everything together: and responsibilities, and classes share equally pleasant.
You do not need to see every woman competitor. Your friend does not have nothing to do with your husband's infidelity, so you should not avoid dialogue with them.
Of course, once you have been able to return to her husband's family, you will need to re-know each other, try to avoid mistakes and build new relationships. It is particularly important to seek to return the love of her husband and his respect for you. Try to improve your own self-esteem. Do not extol the returning spouse. Personality is always appreciated more than blind adoration. A strong and confident woman more attractive, and the man would not want to look for a replacement.
We recommend that read: how to love themselves and self-esteem
How many days after birth can have sex
Why can not I have sex after childbirth
Seams and sex after childbirth
How to bring back the joy of sex after childbirth
Why postpartum dulled sexual desire
The long-awaited birth of the baby - a joyful event in the life of the happy parents. Ahead of them awaits a new life filled with happy moments and unusual experiences. But often this joy overshadows the fact that the majority of women in the postpartum period are losing interest in sex. Men grieve favorite cool attitude to sex. And then both women and men do not cease to torment the question: is a full-fledged sex after childbirth? And how long after childbirth should pass?
How many days after birth can have sex?
At discharge from the hospital, the doctor, together with other Council recommends that new mothers to abstain from sex for at least a month - and a half after the birth. However, in the life of each family the first weeks after birth develop differently. Some seek as soon as possible to have sex (a month or even two or three weeks, once stops to stand the blood), and some even after a long time for a long time healed all the seams and after childbirth has definitely can have sex with wary of its renewal.
In fact, in the postpartum period, many women have weakened sexual desire, and it may persist for a long time - a month, three, six months or even a year. Studies in this area have given disappointing results - namely, 20% of women in the first month in which it became possible to have sex, even once had a wish; 21% of respondents intimate side of the relationship after childbirth in general has ceased interesovat.U many of them even had an aversion to sex. Therefore, if the wife does not want sex, the husband must wait until it returns to desire.
Reviews about what sex after childbirth, there are different, but as a rule, a woman tormented by one question - "When can I have sex? ". Of course, the post-partum period on the nature of sexual relations of the spouses is affected by many factors. First of all - being a young mother, especially after the break in her left seams and child during childbirth, and even the way she copes with motherhood, which is completely dedicated to her maternity leave .. This is also of great importance played by the relationship between the partners which developed between them both during pregnancy and long before that, and poured out my mother or not cope if she breast-feeding helps if the spouse to take care of kids and much more, in fact no coincidence that the first month of life with a baby is one of the the most difficult in the life of the spouses.
Why can not I have sex after giving birth?
From the standpoint of earlier resumption of sexual intercourse after birth can cause both inflammation in the uterus, and bleeding. It has long been observed by doctors that the resumption of marital relations in a month after the birth or earlier can cause great harm to a woman's health - disrupt or slow down the process of post-partum recovery. As a rule, the uterus after childbirth becomes the same size as before pregnancy, and its mucosa is completely restored until the end of the sixth week after birth. Contractions of the uterus leads to what still stands out the blood, which is why sexual intercourse can cause bleeding, which has already been mentioned.
Many women do not seek to renew an intimate relationship not only in the first month or two, but six months later. Even when you can have sex, it usually prevent psychological reasons, as well as various functional disorders in the genital organs. The fear of sexual contact and fear experience pain during sex after childbirth, a sense of loss of sexual attractiveness, fatigue and postpartum depression, problems with joints - the main psychological reasons why many women are deprived of yourself and your partner enjoying a full life.
The first sexual intercourse is not excluded painful. This is due to the fact that even a light touch to the area of the vaginal opening can cause severe pain, and may become a cause infection, thinning or thickening of the skin folds vulvar irritation from soap and contraception, as well as other chemicals. Pain can also occur due to vaginal dryness, resulting from hormonal changes or lack of moisture due to the short prelude, as well as some others that affect sexual desire, psychological factors. Sometimes the pain is caused due to incorrect posture chosen - in this case it is better to change.
How soon after birth can have sex without fear of compromise the integrity of the seams in the vagina? In the postpartum period, and the skin of the perineum and mucous membranes in the vagina are very sensitive. Therefore, the majority of women, especially those who have had trauma of the birth canal, the first contact may unconsciously resist penetration. That is why it is so important when you resume sexual partner deliberation and attention, as well as posture, which will allow to control the movement and avoid pain. During this period, say "no" rush and rudeness.
Anal sex, as well as oral - after giving birth a great alternative to traditional sex. If you can not engage in vaginal sex, can we have sex after childbirth oral or anal? When it comes to sexual abstinence during the first month or two after birth - it is meant sex with vaginal penetration: a penis, finger or any other intimate device. It should be emphasized that the above mentioned restrictions apply only to vaginal and partially - anal intercourse after childbirth. However, oral-genital contact are completely harmless, so this kind of sex you can do a few days after returning from the hospital. After such contact does not affect the state of the uterus.
Seams and sex after childbirth: Love me tender!
Many women need stitches after childbirth. Breaks or cuts made during episiotomy (cutting the perineum to expand the birth canal), stapled, and should take some time to heal these joints. Generally, in order to dissolve the stitches required is not too much time - only about five days. But it so happens that the inflamed joints, even after some time after the young mother was discharged from the hospital. Also, sometimes as soon as the break sutures in the wound blood accumulates, forming a hematoma, which is a long time causes a woman pain.
Therefore, some women are afraid to have sex, even after the stitches heal after two to three weeks or a month. Husbands do not need them to rush; the woman should she feel that is ready to have sex. And do not expect that the first sexual intercourse is perfect. You just have to try it, and if all the joints will have an effect and you will be hurt, and even more so if there was blood, then it will be better to wait a bit. After a few days you can try again.
If pain persists, consult a physician. Very rarely, but it happens that pulls the seams too much, and then without the help of a doctor you can not do
How postpartum back the joy of sex?
Many people, both women and men do not cease to excite the question: how much time should elapse to resume sex after childbirth - a month, two, three? And what if there is no joy in sex after giving birth? The main thing - do not hurry. In this case, it is to be patient and stick to a few simple, and at the same time, pleasant rules. Agree to two loving hearts is not difficult. A woman should be sincere with your loved ones, to share with him all your feelings and honestly tell him about the changes occurring in her body. The man, in turn, is obliged to take care and how to show affection to his wife and a newborn baby. The wife should strongly encourage the participation of her husband in the care of a child and remember that sexual intimacy - it is not a service partner and what you both need. And the main thing, of course, in the postpartum period - men reverent attitude to the female body during lovemaking.
However, many women have a problem - my husband does not want sex after childbirth and one month, and two ... The woman lost in the mysteries of what it could mean. A feature of the female brain is that we often come to a disappointing conclusion. What sad signs of the woman can be seen in the refusal of her husband to have sex after giving birth?
"He does not love me anymore";
"I did not stir up";
"I'm ugly and unattractive";
"Birth of a child destroyed the marriage";
"He's cheating on me";
The first thing worth to do - is to stop panic, even if no sex is not the month, but several. Hand-wringing and Greek tragedy not only will not help you - they will contribute even less your sex appeal for her husband. Try to talk to him about it, perhaps using some metaphors or abstract manner (we all know how men do not like to talk about what is not in sex). Do not push it, it does not promote love and understanding.
The main thing - is to understand the cause of the cause of suspension of the sexual life. It is clear that in the first month for sex is contraindicated for medical reasons, but what's next? You can try to make use of her husband new sexual use or role-playing games. Think what he lacks, what is not in your relationship may be that it seems that the child has replaced all the romance and enthusiasm?
You can use a variety of means to bring back the joy in your intimate relationship with spouse, new sexual positions or role playing games, maybe even some toys. do not be upset if the first month you will be a bit difficult to revive your love life - it's okay, because you can take time. It is important to treat each other in this period, with special attention and affection. Do not worry if you need a month or two to resemble a family therapist and sexologist - professional help in this matter can be very, very useful.
Women's psychology: why postpartum dulled sexual desire?
Immediately after birth, the attitude of women varies greatly. With this all clear, because now her mind takes newborn pipsqueak. According to the laws of nature, while the young mother in need of care, procreation is not. Accordingly, in the first month after birth dulled sexual desire, because the mother should be concentrated exclusively on the child. In the eternal concern and fear for him it often seems that her anxiety and care about him no support and are not shared. That is why the postpartum period many women have a feeling of loneliness and isolation that can seamlessly grow into a depression.
And finally, I want to say a few words about their own feelings of unattractiveness. It is no secret that the figure of a woman after childbirth lose their attraction: smoothed waist, increases breast volume, plus the weight gain during pregnancy. Yes, and nutritious food nursing mothers are not the best way affects the figure. Mode of life after birth almost no time left for practicing their appearance - a young mother it does not exist, not to mention the absence of the possibility of conducting an active lifestyle. Sadly realize it, but all contribute to weight gain, which significantly affects the decrease in self-esteem.
Do not despair, because all is not lost - it's time "costs" did a great job. First of all, listen to the opinion of her husband about his appeal, because sometimes a woman biased estimates its appearance. Try at least a little bit of time to allocate for myself. Do not refuse the help of loved ones: while my father or grandmother walk with prams, can be a bit of a rest, read or put himself in poryadok.Esli want as quickly as possible to bounce back after giving birth, do not be carried away by the sweet and find time for the gym.
So, every woman for herself decides how soon after delivery you can have sex. Lovely woman, no matter how difficult the first days, weeks and months spent with the baby at home, "Do not focus" only on the child, family life is not marred by mutual insults and accusations. Remember that only mutual love, mutual respect and support for each other's interests are able to return to your relationship the joy of sex, and it usually does not depend on how long you can have sex.