- The reasons for the disappearance of a loved one trust
- How can we regain the trust
- How to restore the confidence of the favorite after infidelity
A good relationship between man and woman based only on mutual understanding, trust and love. The absence of even one of these components leads to constant strife, strife and controversy. I have hope in such circumstances if not happy, at least for a prosperous co-existence of two? Hardly. Very often they add, if the trust in the relationship disappears. Even people who love each other when it lost at least one hand on a regular basis can not only make trouble, and leave forever. How can that be, if it happened? How to restore the confidence of a loved one and can I get it back?
The reasons for the disappearance of a loved one trust
Trust - the substance of the tender. Sometimes a person is even accidentally make any rash action - and it has already evaporated. Sadly, but almost all couples are faced with situations that put into question the credibility. Causes of loss are different. Most often it is:
- the contradiction between the words and actions of man;
- unfulfilled promises;
- excessive jealousy of one of the partners;
- mismatch of expectations and the reality of the relationship;
- unattainable goals, set by the partner.
To a loss of confidence, of course, leads and more. It happens that it is not at all original. Anyway - what's the difference? The main thing here - the threat of separation from a loved one due to the fact that he does not believe. Is there a reason for this, if there is, it is you start to feel guilty, transforming or resignation, or irritation. And all the time tormented by the question - how to gain the trust of a loved one, to relationships, finally, to establish?
Lost trust can lead to the final break between man and woman. Or it may not be, if you try to get it back. Frankly, it's hard to do, and sometimes impossible. But you need to try anyway. Of course, there is the option to retire proudly, slamming the door. Say, you do not believe - and not necessary. And then what? Anguish, pain, despair and regret that the bridges are burned? Not a good way out, which often have a lot of chances to change for the better. What will this do?
How can we regain the trust
We have already said that the loss of confidence of a loved one occurs for different reasons. And in order to get it back, you need to act on the specific cause of the incident. But it is always adhere to the basic rule - not to lie even in small things and ponder every word and action. If people do not believe us, it is a reflex to seek confirmation of his suspicions. This proof could be the most innocent acts and meaningless phrases. Therefore, to return confidence in the one you love, will require constant control.
Before taking any attempts to restore it, you should think about whether we are prepared long and hard to earn that trust. If it disappeared because of some kind of lies, will have to completely abandon the deception even in small things. I must say that all men are somewhat deceiving each other. And something to hide from others, including the people closest. Therefore, somewhere deep down we are all willing to forgive a lie, if it does not cause significant damage to the inner and outer well-being. But you need to he who distrust became very honest and open. The slightest lie in such a situation can become fatal.
If confidence is lost a loved one because of the unfulfilled promises to return it, you just need to stop what is a reassuring partner. And try to at least partially realize what has already been promised. It happens that we take on commitments in the belief that they will certainly fulfill. But circumstances do not allow this. In this case, it is necessary to explain to the person why. If he really loves, understands. And do not understand ... So, reciprocity of feelings in question. Well, if we just promise something, not thinking at all about the possibility of its implementation, it should say so straight to his partner. He'll appreciate this sincerity and cease to suspect us of hypocrisy and pretense.
There are couples in which one partner does not trust the other because of his jealousy hypertrophied. It's bad case of distrust, for the occurrence of which reason is usually not necessary. Living with such people jealous - no honey, and would do better to try to stay away from them. But Lawless Heart! And if love has managed Othello, will have to give up close contacts with other men, whether friends, colleagues, neighbors and acquaintances. And at the same time to tell your partner about everything that happened in his absence and is constantly talking about her love for him. He should always know where and with whom and what we are going to do. I do not like to report around? It's nothing you can do. Other variants of behavior with a loved-no jealous.
Finally, the most difficult case of loss of confidence favorite - treason. We'll talk about it separately.
How to restore the confidence of the favorite after infidelity
When you meet a loved one, the whole world is closed to him. And I believe it will last forever. And no one else for a minute does not take the place of someone you love. However, our life is full of unexpected twists and unexpected temptations. And one day it may happen that the temptation to provoke treason, which after sincerely sorry. The man, after learning about the incident, enraged, feeling the pain at the same time, jealousy, bitterness, disappointment. His faith in the sincerity of women destroyed, and dreams of the future relations with her ashes scattered in.
How to restore the confidence of the partner, if parting with them is like death? The experiences of men who have betrayed, similar in power and uncontrollability in the tornado, sweeping away everything in its path. They do not want to hear an explanation, pay no attention to the tears changed, do not take her request for forgiveness and do not believe in unfeigned repentance. Relations are on the verge of collapse. How to save them, and is it possible?
In general, the stronger sex is more acute senses and experiencing betrayal than the weak. The essence of feminine nature has the ability to forgive. Besides, we all subconsciously ready for treason loved one, although it does not allow thoughts. And when this happens, rvёm and sword in a rage, suffocating pain, weep and cry, but eventually most forgiving and complete break in relations not allowed. If, of course, we see - this stupid walker left really sorry about what happened.
Men are all given a lot harder. Infidelity women for them - not only the collapse of their own, so carefully build the world, but also the loss of confidence in his men's solvency. After all, if your favorite give it to someone else, it turns out she is not satisfied with the sex lives! And they say that the devotee and the soul and the body ... And then, what right had to use an outsider that does not belong to him ?! Just thinking about it brings a man into a frenzy. If he sincerely attached to the woman.
"I sincerely attached" - something that should be supported and trying to regain the trust of a loved one after infidelity. Yes, it is raging hurricane of emotions and consciousness stunned with jealousy. But in the depths of the soul still warm spark of feelings, which in turn is hoped the fire. Of course, this task is very, very not an easy. Her decision depends on how a woman behaves correctly. The main thing for it - to avoid mistakes that lead to a final rupture or further adverse changes in the relationship. What is this error?
First, in any case can not fall at the feet of the man, begging for forgiveness and assuring that life without him stop. Crawling on his knees and pathetic, not only do not give the desired effect - they can cause a wave of revulsion in his favorite. In addition, our strong half in the majority believe this theater technique and a woman begin to suspect duplicity. Needless to say that the trust he acts devastatingly? It is therefore necessary to control myself with dignity. Such behavior is at all times a matter of respect. And this is a good tool for saving relationships.
Second, it is inadmissible to roll hysteria and out of itself. In such a state easily break the accusations partner in what happened. The man, who so offended - any longer, instantly decides that a traitor is no longer on the road. Not only that, she betrayed, so also believes that it is natural! So, ready to repeat his act and is able at any moment to thrust a knife in the back. What kind of trust there can be a speech? Therefore, trying to achieve forgiveness, you must be a low-key, friendly and delicate. It is likely that the incident really have wine partner. But for the moment the discussion of this fact can not be.
Third, should not be fed to the entreaties of the men to talk about changes in detail. Of course, we need to talk about it, but without clarification and delineation details. Extended debriefing is not for the occasion. It will only cause further irritation and further exacerbate emotions. In addition, the favorite will be created in the minds of colorful pictures of what happened, all the time then that will arise in front of him and, as a result, destroy relationships. Better that he will not be aware of the nuances of treason. Suffice it once to describe it in a few words and then never come back to this.
Fourth, you can not call for help in resolving the conflict of others. If parents, friends, girlfriends would all crowd to put pressure on the man, most likely he will just disappear, unable to withstand the onslaught from the side. On top of that outside interference certainly lead to loss of control over the situation. You never know what to tell a loved one, trying to reassure him, even those who basically wants nothing but good? Oh, and that lzhepodrugi lash, and not worth mentioning. Not only the lash, but would spread gossip around the world.
Finally, if you have children together, do not ask a man to keep the relationship for them. Then he may decide that his wife is not only frivolous poskakushka but treacherous bitch. And the preservation of the family for the children - the question is slippery. He seemed at once gives a man permission to change. Say, in the house, I'll stay as a father. And the rest, dear, do not obessud ...
In general, in order to regain the trust of a loved one, it is necessary to insist that the betrayal was a big mistake and nothing but disappointment, did not bring. It is not necessary to require the male quick understanding and forgiveness. Let time pass, he wakes up and can more or less reasonably treat the case. The period is a long one, but it needs to survive, putting a goal - to restore the confidence of someone who roads. You do not need to scroll constantly in my head what happened, cultivating and growing guilt. It will provoke ingratiating behavior that but contempt, did not cause. Stay must be with dignity, deserving the trust and patiently trying to achieve a complete understanding and forgiveness.